


Nothing Prepared Me For You

by Spoilerz



Category: Clexakru - Fandom, The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Artist Clarke, Best Friends, Bisexual Female Character, Clexa, Dream Sex, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Jealous Clarke, Jealous Lexa, Lesbian Character, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Sex, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:17:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 57,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7050646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoilerz/pseuds/Spoilerz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa is starting a new chapter in her life in a new city and running a successful business. Clarke is in a relationship and setting the foundation for her career. Neither are prepared for what meeting the other does to them. How long can they remain friends and ignore the possibility for more...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys! This is my first fanfic and I am both super excited and nervous about posting it. I was into fanfic years ago and Clexa brought me back. Their story on the show has been one of the best character ships I have ever experienced. I hope you guys enjoy this story. Please feel free to leave me any feedback. 
> 
> This story will be one about discovering a friendship, love and the struggles Lexa and Clarke will go through in making the choices it will take to get there. There will be some Clarke/Finn relationship stuff, but know I am all Clexa at heart and that’s where things will go. I will switch from Lexa's POV to Clarke's POV. The beginning chapters will be shorter as I am setting things up, but they will get longer further into the fic. 
> 
> I found inspiration for this fic from the song Turning Page by Sleeping At Last.

Lexa was falling. She tried to grab something to catch herself, but she couldn’t get a hold on anything. She yelled out as she felt a sharp edge on the rock she was trying to climb cut into her leg as she slid down the rock and fell several feet to the ground. She was stunned and as she started coming back around she heard someone yelling and then realized it was her friend Lincoln.

“Lexa! Are you alright? I saw you slip, but there was nothing I could do.” Lincoln spoke with concern in his voice.

Lexa shook her head and looked down at her leg, “I think I’m okay, but I cut my leg on that damn rock.”

Lexa rolled her leg over and sure enough there was a deep cut on the lower part of her thigh and blood was getting everywhere soaking through the shorts she was wearing. Lexa watched Lincoln grab a towel out of his bag and wrap it around her leg to help ease the bleeding.

Lexa winced…”so much for my badass rock climbing skills” she said as Lincoln helped her stand up.

“Lexa we need to get you to the hospital, that cut is going to need some stitches”.

Lexa hobbled back down the trail with Lincoln’s help to where the car was parked and let Lincoln drive her to the hospital.

Lexa stared out the window as they drove not feeling this new city she was still getting used to. Lexa had moved to Los Angeles about eight months ago after living most of her life in a small town in Oregon. She was used to living a simple life surrounded by trees and not the city life she was trying to adjust to.

At the age of 25 Lexa had recently found herself to be the owner of a very successful business. It started out as a blog she made to document all of her adventures in everything outdoors. Lexa loved to go camping and hiking, she felt the most at peace in the woods. Her blog went viral and Lexa’s life had not been the same since. She now had a brand, Trikru, with everything from an app where people could share pictures and stories to the beginnings of an outdoor merchandise line. She had moved to LA after the business had taken off to be closer to her sister Anya. Her sister handled most of the business side of things and LA was where the offices were located, but she missed Oregon.

“Is there a hospital close by?” Lexa asked, she hated to be a burden and didn’t want Lincoln waisting his whole day for her being foolish. She knew better than to rock climb without her gear and in an area she wasn’t familiar with yet.

“There is one not too far from here, the girl I’m dating actually works there” Lincoln said putting Lexa’s mind at ease.

They pulled into the parking lot of Mount Weather Hospital and Lincoln parked the car before getting out and coming over to the passenger side to help Lexa.

Lexa was glad she had asked him to come along with her today on her hike seeing how things had gone. Lincoln lived in the building she had moved into and they had hit it off as friends quickly once they discovered they both shared similar interests in all things outdoors. Lincoln owned and ran a chain of gyms in the area and he seemed to be very successful.

Lincoln helped Lexa get inside the hospital and over to a chair in the waiting room of the ER. He walked over to the nurses station explaining Lexa’s injury and came back with some forms for Lexa to fill out.

“Lexa I texted Octavia, maybe she can help you get seen faster. She works here as a physical therapist”.

Lexa filled out the forms and sat there with Lincoln waiting.

After about 45 minutes Lexa heard Lincoln speak up, “Hey Octavia”.

Lexa had been playing a game on her phone and looked up when she heard Lincoln speak. She saw who she assumed to be Octavia walking towards them, she had long dark hair and looked just as pretty as Lincoln had described, with another girl walking beside her.

Lincoln stood up as they approached, “Hey guys, this is my friend Lexa Woods. She and I were hiking today and she fell and cut her leg”. Lexa and Octavia exchanged a quick handshake.

Octavia then spoke “It’s nice to meet you Lexa, I’m Octavia Blake, sorry we aren’t meeting under better circumstances. Lincoln has told me a lot about you”. Octavia gave a friendly smile and motioned to the girl standing next to her, “Lexa this is Clarke Griffin, she’s going to take care of that cut for you.”

Lexa looked to the second girl and introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Lexa”.

The blonde girl smiled and reached her hand out to Lexa. “Hi Lexa, it’s nice to me you”.

Lexa took her hand and gave her a soft handshake.

Lexa looked up and noticed this girl was gorgeous. She had wavy blonde hair that had two small braids on the sides of her face tied back to hold her hair up and these amazing blue eyes. After several seconds Lexa realized she had been shaking the girl’s hand a little too long. Lexa released her hand and quickly offered an apology, “Sorry Ms. Griffin I seem to still be a little out of it after my fall”.

Clarke smiled and said “It’s ok and please call me Clarke”.

Lexa pulled her hand back and smiled trying to hide her embarrassment, but she knew she had failed when she felt the warmth in her cheeks.

Clarke spoke up, “Well Lexa lets get you looked at so you can get home, I’m sure it has been a long day.”

Lexa looked back at Lincoln who had a smirk on his face as Lexa got into the wheelchair Clarke had brought for her. She was sure she had made an ass out of herself and just wanted to get this over with.

Lincoln waited in the lobby while Clarke took Lexa into one of the exam rooms down the hall from the ER so she could take care of the stitches Lexa needed on her leg.

Lexa started to get out of the wheelchair after they were in the exam room when Clarke turned around, “Lexa, let me help you”.

Lexa placed her arm over Clarke’s shoulder and the girl helped Lexa get up onto the exam table. Clarke’s hair brushed against Lexa’s face and she couldn’t help noticing how good it smelled, like lavender. Clarke had Lexa lay down on her side so she could get to her cut easier.

“I’m going to have to roll your shorts up some to get them out of the way”, Clarke said.

Lexa nodded, “Ok”.

Clarke began rolling up Lexa’s shorts and cleaning the area around the cut. Lexa quickly became very aware of every spot that Clarke touched. Not because she was in pain, but because this girl had such soft hands and was applying the lightest of touches to Lexa’s leg. Lexa was glad to be facing away from the girl since she knew she had to be blushing. 

Clarke gave Lexa a shot for the pain and then started applying the stitches. After she was finished she had Lexa sit up so she could apply the bandages. Clarke sat on a small stool and moved so she was in between Lexa’s legs. Clarke continued to use light touches being very gentle as she applied the bandages.

Lexa looked down at Clarke as she worked noticing just how blue her eyes were seeing them that up close. Their eyes met for a spilt second and Lexa quickly looked away hoping to not have come across looking like a creep staring at the girl. Lexa thought she saw the girl blink away a moment of nervousness as well, but Lexa dismissed the idea. Lexa internally scolded herself to get a grip. She couldn’t believe the effect this girl who she just met was having on her. She just hoped it hadn’t been obvious to Clarke.

Lexa decided to make small talk hoping it would ease her awkwardness. “So have you been working at this hospital long?” Lexa asked.

Clarke answered without taking her attention away from Lexa’s leg. “I just graduated Med School and I’m doing my residency here, I’ve been here for a few months now”.

Lexa noted how young the girl looked to have accomplished so much.

“Do you go rock climbing often?” Clarke asked.

Lexa felt embarrassed as she replied seeing as how it must look like she didn’t know what she had been doing having hurt herself like this. “I do, but I usually have my gear and have researched the area first. We were just out for a hike and I got carried away”. Lexa saw Clarke’s lips quirk up into a quick small smile as she kept working, Lexa also noted she had an amazing smile.

“All done” Clarke spoke breaking Lexa from her thoughts of trying to not have thoughts about the hot doctor who was siting in front of her and how Lexa must look like a wreck from the hike and her fall.

“Thanks” Lexa replied as she started to get off the table. Clarke reached out to help her, but Lexa put her hands up. “It’s ok I think I can manage now”. Lexa walked with Clarke back down to the ER lobby where Lincoln was waiting.

“All done?” Lincoln asked.

“Yep, Lexa replied, I was in good hands”. The words came out with her not meaning them to and she hoped it hadn’t sounded as flirty as she thought it had.

Lexa looked to Clarke and saw that same small smile on her face before she replied, “Thank you Lexa, the cut wasn’t too bad and should heal quickly. You will need to come back in three weeks to have the stitches taken out.”

Clarke then handed her some paperwork with instructions for how to care for the stitches as they healed. Lexa thanked her and looked to Lincoln. He spoke up, “Clarke, did Octavia tell you about the party we are having this weekend?”.

Clarke replied, “Yeah she mentioned it the other day. We should be able to make it”.

Lexa felt herself look up at the mention of the word “we”. Lexa sighed internally, of course she would meet a pretty girl who was, if Lexa’s intuition was right, into girls who would be taken. She also thought it was no surprise seeing how pretty the girl was.

Lincoln replied, “Great, I look forward to seeing you and Finn on Saturday. Lexa should be there too, as long as she doesn’t go all daredevil on me again”.

The three of them all exchanged a quick laugh. Lexa was glad for the joke Lincoln had made that allowed her to laugh hiding her reaction to Clarke not only being with someone, but with a guy. Lexa and Lincoln thanked Clarke again before making their way out of the ER and back to the car. On the ride home Lexa cursed to herself…of course she has a boyfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Clarke and Lexa meeting each other as told from Clarke's POV. Both girls have similar reactions to meeting each other, but are of course oblivious to it right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the need to tell them meeting each other from both of their perspectives. From now on I will probably just mix in the different POV's as I see how they will fit into the story best. I hope you like how I have set things up so far. I have a few more chapters finished, but I wanted to post the first two and see what kind of feedback they got in case I need to make any changes. I hope you like it! :)

Clarke looked down at her watch and sighed as she stood in line to get another coffee, she had lost count of how many she had consumed that day already. It was only 2pm which meant she still had five more hours left to work on her double shift. Things has been slow for the past few hours, not that Clarke was complaining, but she liked staying busy when she worked a double to help the time pass quickly.

Clarke had started working at Mount Weather Hospital a few months ago to start her residency after finishing Medical School. Her mother Abbey was a doctor at the same hospital which was both good and bad. Good in that Clarke enjoyed working alongside her mother, but also bad since she felt the pressure of living up to her mother’s high reputation as a successful surgeon. Clarke thought that she had accomplished a lot for a 25 year old, but she was always striving to do more and be better.

Clarke felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket and when she looked at the screen she saw it was a text from her boyfriend Finn. He was letting her know he was going to be out of town for a couple more days. Finn worked as an engineer for a construction company and was always working on projects that took him out of town. Clarke and Finn had met at a party and had been dating for about eight months. It was turning into the longest relationship Clarke had ever been in and while she had feelings for Finn it seemed like their busy schedules kept things at a certain level. Clarke sent Finn a text back letting him know she had gotten his message and would see him when he got back later in the week.

A couple of hours later Clarke heard her name being paged over the hospital’s intercom. She called the extension and heard a familiar voice answer. “Hey Clarke, it’s Octavia”. Clarke had met Octavia in college and over the years they had become best friends. Octavia worked at the hospital as a physical therapist.

Clarke answered her hoping everything was alright, “Hey O, what’s up?”.

“Lincoln just texted me, he’s here at the hospital with a friend. She fell while they were hiking and it sounds like she might need some stitches. Are you free?”.

Clarke was glad to hear she finally had some work to help pass the time before her shift ended, “Yeah I’m free at the moment”.

Octavia sounded excited, “Ok great, meet me down near the ER and I’ll take you to meet them”.

“On my way”, Clarke replied as she made her way to meet her friend.

Clarke met up with Octavia and headed towards the ER waiting room. She recognized Lincoln as they approached the lobby and saw that there was a brunette girl sitting next to him with her back to her and Octavia.

Lincoln greeted them and introduced her and Octavia to his friend, “Hey guys, this is my friend Lexa Woods”.

Clarke looked down at the girl as Lincoln introduced her, and she felt her breath slightly catch. This girl was beautiful. She had tan skin and long brunette hair that had several braids in it and was tied back into a ponytail, but what really caught Clarke’s attention were the girl’s eyes. Her eyes were an emerald shade of green, Clarke had never seen someone with eyes that green before.

Clarke saw the girl reaching out to shake her hand. Clarke took her hand and smiled before introducing herself. Clarke thought, _“Lexa”_ , not a common name and she liked it. The girl’s hand felt strong, but gentle in her own and for a split second Clarke thought that maybe she was staring too much.

The girl broke the handshake and snapped Clarke out of her own thoughts. Lexa made a quick apology that made it sound like she had been wrapped up in the same moment as Clarke, but she quickly dismissed the idea. Clarke quickly recovered and offered to take Lexa to attend to her leg leaving Lincoln and Octavia in the waiting room. 

Once in the exam room Clarke started to get things setup when she noticed Lexa trying to stand on her own. Clarke reached over and offered to help Lexa get on the exam table. Lexa grabbed onto her shoulder and Clarke noticed how strong and fit Lexa’s body felt against hers. She quickly let the thought go. She wasn’t sure what had gotten into her about this girl.

Clarke had Lexa lay down while she took care of the cut. She was right about Lexa being fit. As she cleaned the cut she could see and feel how toned Lexa’s thigh was. Clarke was rubbing over the cut and thought she felt Lexa tremble slightly, she hoped she had not hurt her and so she tried to be more gentle.

After Clarke finished with the stitches she had Lexa sit up so she could apply the bandages. She thought she noticed Lexa looking at her and when Clarke glanced up she was looking right into her green eyes. She looked away quickly noticing Lexa do the same and focused back on the girl’s leg. Clarke didn’t think anything of it, I mean she was sitting very close to the girl so she would have to look at her. Lexa spoke asking her about how long she had worked at the hospital and Clarke was glad for the distraction from her thoughts.  

After Clarke finished up she walked Lexa back out to the lobby. Lincoln greeted them and Lexa spoke up commenting that she had been in good hands. Clarke let the compliment wash over her detecting a hint of flirtatiousness in Lexa’s tone, but brushed it off. This girl was hot, there was no other way to put it and she doubted that she looked very appealing in her scrubs after working for almost 12 hours straight. Still Clarke could not hide the smile that formed on her lips and she thanked Lexa for the compliment.

Lincoln spoke up asking about the party that Octavia had told Clarke about that they were having that weekend. Clarke noticed two things when she mentioned her and Finn would be able to make it, one: she realized she hadn’t thought about him once while she let herself admire Lexa and two: Clarke could have sworn she felt Lexa’s demeanor change at the revelation that Clarke would be coming to the party and with someone.

Later that night Clarke had gotten home and showered before plopping down on her couch to eat the take out she had grabbed on her way home from work and watch some Netflix. She was exhausted, but needed to do something to wind down before she headed to bed. After watching a couple episodes of Lost Girl Clarke grabbed her phone and decided to text Octavia.

_Clarke - Hey O, what r doing?_   
_Octavia - Nothing much just watching some TV._   
_Octavia - So how did things go today with Lexa?_   
_Clarke - Fine, she wasn’t hurt that bad so it was an easy procedure._   
_Octavia - She’s pretty isn't she?_

Clarke was a little taken aback by Octavia’s comment and it took her a second to reply.

_Clarke - Yeah and she seems nice._   
_Octavia - Hell yeah, she’s gorgeous. If I didn't know better I’d be worried about her with how close her and Linc have become._   
_Clarke - What do you mean, know better?_   
_Octavia - Duh, cause she’s a lesbian. Don’t tell me your radar didn’t go off. I saw the look on your face, lol._   
_Clarke - Lol, whatever. I didn’t have any look on my face._   
_Octavia - Sure thing Doc. :)_   
_Clarke - Alright, I’m exhausted and heading to bed. G’night._   
_Octavia - G’night._

Clarke thought about what Octavia had said, about Lexa being gay and couldn’t help the feeling that came over her…she liked knowing. She had guessed at it, but it was really none of her business and it’s not like she was looking for anyone. She’s with Finn and she’s happy, she needed to concentrate on that and get the brunette off of her mind. Clarke was bisexual and while she had dated some girls she never had a real relationship with a girl. She attributed her reactions to Lexa to finding her attractive and just her own curiosity and nothing more as she settled into bed and quickly drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke go to a party and have a moment as they both are recognizing the effect they have on each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys this will be a slow burn, but trust me I will get there. Thanks so much for the kudos on what I've posted so far!

Lexa sat at her desk bored. It was Friday afternoon and her and Anya had just finished a meeting where they picked out some designs for the t-shirt line that they were just starting to work on for Trikru. It’s not that Lexa was unhappy with how her business was going it was just that she enjoyed the action part of it and wouldn’t mind leaving all of the business stuff to Anya. She was proud of their success and the financial freedom it gave her that allowed her to travel and do all of the things she enjoyed.

Anya spoke breaking her from her thoughts, ‘How’s your leg doing?”.

“It’s fine”, Lexa replied back while glancing over the design they had picked.

“Have any plans this weekend?”, Anya asked.

Lexa considering saying no, but changed her mind, “Lincoln and his girlfriend Octavia are throwing a party at his place on Saturday night that I was thinking about going to, but I’m not sure”. Anya practically shouted her reply, “Lexa you should go! You need to be more sociable and meet people…maybe meet someone”.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Don’t start that again Anya, you know I’m not looking for a relationship right now after what happened with Costia”.

Anya knew Lexa had been hurt by how things had gone with her ex-girlfriend. “Lexa I just want you to be happy and it is time you moved on from her”.

Lexa knew Anya meant well and there was no hiding from her that she had been a little down lately. Anya was Lexa’s older sister. They had grown up in foster homes together after their parents died in a car accident when they were young. They were the only real family each of them had and had really ever known. Lexa had been telling herself she had been down lately because she was still adjusting to living in a new city and the changes in her life, but deep down she knew there was more to it.

Lexa conceded with a sigh, “Alright, alright I’ll go to the damn party if it will make you happy”.

Anya smiled at Lexa before getting back to work.

The next day Lexa stayed inside her loft most of the day brooding over her decision to go to Lincoln’s party. Her and Lincoln both lived in the same building so it wasn’t like she had far to go and she had already decided that if she got bored or wasn’t having a good time she could always leave early.

Lexa had a loft on the top floor of the building with a rooftop deck and a nice view of the city. The building had been an old warehouse that was converted into loft apartments. Lincoln’s loft was just a few floors below her’s so it would be a quick and easy escape if she wasn’t enjoying herself at the party. Lincoln had texted her earlier saying the party would start around 8p. Lexa looked at her phone and saw it was almost 7p so she decided to take a quick shower and get ready.

Lexa stepped into the shower and the hot water hit her on her leg where the stitches were and it burned, she cursed out loud, “Fucking rock”. Lexa finished her shower and dried off before going into her closet to try and find something to wear. Her mind wandered for a minute, thinking about a certain blonde with blue eyes and the fact that she was also supposed to be at this party. Her mind also reminded her that this certain blonde was going to be there with her boyfriend and she quickly ended her train of thought on the matter.

Lexa settled on a pair of jeans and a tank top, not wanting to over think her outfit any longer. She brushed her hair and decided to leave it down and just put on some eyeliner, she was a minimalist when it came to makeup if she wore any at all. She checked her phone and saw it was just a little after 8pm and decided to head down to Lincoln’s so she slipped on a pair of converse and made her way out the door.

* * *

 

Clarke was glad Finn had made it back from his work trip in time to go with her to the party. Clarke was at her apartment getting ready. She had texted Finn earlier telling him to pick her up around 7:30p. They had a short drive to the area of town where Lincoln lived, but with LA traffic you could never guess how long going anywhere might take you.

Clarke looked down at the outfit she had picked out to wear and she hoped it wasn’t too much. She liked to dress up some whenever she got the chance since she worked long hours she didn’t get to go out much so when she did she liked to enjoy herself.

She had settled on a short red dress that she had bought a while back and hadn’t had a chance to wear anywhere yet. It wasn’t fancy dinner worthy, but it wasn’t to clubby either so she thought it was a good balance.

Clarke finished putting on her make up and brushed her hair up into a high ponytail. She was looking herself over in the mirror when she remembered that Lexa was going to be at this party too and she found herself feeling both happy and nervous at the thought.

A knock at her door brought her out of her thoughts. When she opened it she saw Finn and greeted him with a hug.

“I’m glad you’re back”, Clarke said has she broke the hug and gave Finn a quick kiss while pulling him inside her apartment.

Finn looked at her outfit, “Wow, you look incredible”.

“Thanks”, Clarke replied smiling at him as she finished putting on the black heels she had grabbed before they headed out the door.

* * *

Lexa got onto the elevator to go down the few floors to the party and before the doors even opened she could hear the sound of music which she knew was coming from Lincoln’s apartment. She went to knock on the door, but noticed it was slightly open so she let herself in.

When she walked in she scanned the room. Lincoln’s loft was setup similar to her own, it was very open and had some rooms off to the side. Whereas Lexa had a rooftop deck, Lincoln had a balcony. People were standing around talking and she could see some people were out on the balcony as well. She looked around for Lincoln and spotted him standing in his kitchen which had been converted into a bar for the party.

Lexa walked over and saw that Octavia was standing with him as well.

“Hey, you came!”, Lincoln said over the music that was playing.

Lexa smiled, “Yes, the recluse in me is just loving it already”.

Lincoln laughed and then it was Octavia who spoke up next, “Lexa it’s nice to see you again and this time not in a hospital”.

Lexa had to laugh, “Yes, me and my injured leg and ego would agree”.

Lincoln offered Lexa a drink and she took a gin and tonic, one of her vices.

Lexa continued chatting with Lincoln as he played bartender and more people started showing up for the party. Lexa was actually getting comfortable hanging out at the party, although the gin was helping, which was not like her.

Suddenly she heard Octavia shout “Clarke you made it!”. Lexa’s feelings about being comfortable drained away from her body when she glanced in Clarke’s direction.

Clarke looked amazing. She had on a red dress that was loose around the bottom, but tight enough that it slightly hugged her body showing off her curves. Lexa’s eyes followed the dress up Clarke’s body to where the top of the dress was cut into a v-shape and was tight around her breasts showing off just enough cleavage without being too revealing.

Clarke’s hair was pulled up into a ponytail, but her hair was long enough that blonde curls still fell onto her shoulders. Lexa continued to look and caught Clarke looking straight back at her. Clarke’s eyes were just as blue as she had remembered. Suddenly a guy with dark hair was walking around from behind Clark and placing his arm around her waist causing Clark to look down and beside her. Lexa snapped out of her daze and saw that Octavia was walking Clark and _“arm guy”_ towards her. Lexa took a sip of her drink as they approached her.

Octavia spoke first as she walked up to Lexa, “Clarke you of course remember Lexa from the other day, although she might look different not bleeding all over the place”.

Lexa looked up at Clarke feeling slightly embarrassed.

Clarke gave a short laugh before she spoke, “It’s nice to see you again Lexa, I hope your leg is healing well”.

Lexa relaxed some, “Yes, it seems to be healing fine and thanks again”.

Clarke broke away from looking at Lexa to gesture to the man standing beside her. “This is Finn…my boyfriend”. Clarke wasn’t sure why it had taken her an extra second to say he was her boyfriend. “Finn this is Lexa, she’s a friend of Lincoln’s. She got hurt while they were hiking the other day and had to come into the hospital for some stitches”.

Finn reached his hand out to shake Lexa’s, “Finn Collins, nice to meet you”.

She took it giving him a quick handshake and introducing herself as well,”Hi Finn, Lexa Woods, it’s nice to meet you too”. She hoped she had sounded genuine since internally she was thinking how not nice it was to be meeting him.

Lexa saw a look of recognition flash across Finn’s face.

“Hey, don’t I know you?”, Finn said.

Lexa didn’t recognize Finn so she wasn’t sure how he would know her. Before she could reply back he snapped his fingers and spoke, “You’re the girl behind Trikru”.

Lexa gave a bashful smirk, “Guilty as charged”.

A few people who were standing around them heard and all of sudden all attention was on her. Lexa figured she couldn’t be too surprised a lot of the people at this party knew about Trikru and who she was. Lincoln owned a line of gyms and her brand had become popular among extreme sports athletes, but the attention was still something she was getting used to.

Some time later after more conversations than Lexa could count she was finally able to break away from the crowd. Lexa needed some air so she walked over towards the balcony. When she walked outside she stopped slightly in her tracks.

Clarke was leaning against the railing of the balcony with a drink in her hand. Clarke turned and spoke when she saw Lexa walk outside, “It’s a little too crowded in there for me”.

Lexa smiled, “Yeah I think I managed to escape the maddening crowd”.

Clarke smirked,“I didn’t know I had worked on a celebrity”.

Lexa couldn’t hold back a laugh, “I’m hardly a celebrity”.

“I don’t know you seemed to draw quite a crowd in there”, Clarke said as she walked over closer to where Lexa was standing.

Lexa could feel her heart beat a little faster and her breathing become a little deeper as she watched Clarke walk her way in that dress. Lexa reminded herself that Clarke has a boyfriend and tried to keep her cool.

She turned her attention away from Clarke to look out at the view of the city, “It’s with certain crowds”. Lexa felt Clarke come to stand next to her and when she breathed in she smelled the faint scent of lavender.

They stayed out on the balcony talking about different things. Lexa explained how she was still adjusting to living in LA and how she had moved here when her business grew. Lexa found it easy to talk to Clarke.

After a few more minutes they each decided they had been hiding from the party long enough and turned to go back inside. As Lexa turned around she missed seeing how close she was to a table and rammed her leg right where she had been cut the other day.

Lexa bent over slightly at the pain and yelled out, “Damnit”.

Clarke was at her side in a split second helping her to stand back up, “Are you alright Lexa?”.

“Yeah I think so”, Lexa replied while feeling embarrassed yet again in front of Clarke.

Clarke helped Lexa walk back inside and she could see she was favoring her injured leg slightly, “I think you need to have your leg looked at, you might have torn your stitches”.

“I think I’m alright”.

Clarke looked at her with a listen to me I’m a doctor look, “I can check them out, it’s really no problem”.

Lexa decided she better listen to her, “Ok, as long as it is not a bother. I actually live in this building. Do you mind if we go to my apartment so I can change into something that will make this easier?”.

Clarke assured Lexa she didn’t mind and let Finn know where she was going. Lexa apologized to Lincoln for having to leave the party early, but he waved her off telling her to go get checked out. Lexa ignored the wink Lincoln gave her before walking out of the apartment with Clarke.

They took the elevator up to the top floor. When they got off Lexa led the way to her loft at the end of the hall. When Lexa opened the door and they walked in Clarke immediately noticed how clean and organized the place was. Clarke could tell that Lexa had good taste, but she was sensible. Everything had a place and fit the space well.

“I’m going to go change really quick, please make yourself at home” Lexa said as she saw Clarke looking around her loft.

Clarke watched as Lexa walked off to a room that was on the other side of the apartment and disappear behind a door. Clarke continued to look around.

There was a living room area on one side of the large open room with a flat screen TV and a large comfy looking couch. There were bookshelves along one wall that were full. There was a spiral staircase in one corner of the apartment and Clarke wondered where it went to. She continued to walk around and noticed Lexa had a nice sized kitchen with professional looking appliances so Clarke figured Lexa must like to cook.

The ceiling had skylights placed in a few areas and some large windows at the top of the far wall. Another area of the loft was setup like an office and Clarke noticed a group of photos hanging on the wall and she walked over to get a better look at them.

One photo was of Lexa standing on the edge of a waterfall with her arms extended out from her sides looking like she was about to jump. Another photo was of Lexa rock climbing, hanging off the edge of what looked like a steep mountain. A third photo was smaller than the rest and was of Lexa with another woman, a very pretty woman Clarke noted, standing on a beach and the two looked happy.

Clarke didn’t notice Lexa had walked up until she heard her speak.

“See I swear I usually know what I am doing”, Lexa said.

Clarke jumped a little and turned to look at Lexa who was sporting a smirk that made Clarke roll her eyes and smile, “I’m sure you do given the cult like following you have down at the party”. Clarke noticed that Lexa had kept the same tank top on, but had changed into a pair of gym shorts.

“I looked at my leg when I was changing and I think the stitches are ok, but I’ll let the expert have the final say”, Lexa said with a wink as she motioned for them to walk over to the sofa.

Clarke didn’t miss the wink and how cute Lexa had looked when she did it.

Clarke sat down on the sofa while Lexa remained standing.

“Does this work?” Lexa asked as she began rolling up the hem of her shorts.

Clarke turned to look at her not realizing Lexa had bent down so their faces were almost touching as their eyes connected, “Umm..yeah, this is perfect”.

Clarke felt herself blush as she thought that had come out a little breathless, but she looked down hoping Lexa didn't notice. Clarke could’t deny being this close to Lexa was having an effect on her. She briefly thought back to when she had first walked into the party and saw Lexa.

Lexa had been wearing jeans that fit her just right with a tank top that showed off her toned arms and part of a tribal tattoo on one arm that wrapped up to her shoulder. The tight tank top also showed off the outline of her abs.

Clarke was suddenly very aware of how close they were, she could feel the warmth of Lexa’s body and the smell of her perfume…coconut, she smelled like the beach. Clarke mentally berated herself for having these thoughts and focused back on why she was there.

“Ok, lets have a look”, Clarke said. 

Clarke pulled up Lexa’s shorts a little farther and saw the bandage was still on so she slowly removed it and took a look at the stitches. “Everything seems to be alright. They are a little red from being irritated, but you should be fine”, Clark said as she placed the bandage back in place and smoothed her hand over Lexa’s leg. Clarke’s hand ended up resting on Lexa’s inner thigh and Clarke felt Lexa shudder slightly. Clarke froze with her hand on Lexa’s thigh. Lexa looked down at Clarke and for a second neither moved or said a word.

After a few awkward seconds, Lexa cleared her throat, “Um thanks, I appreciate you taking the time”.

Clarke quickly removed her hand from Lexa’s body and stood up looking everywhere except to make eye contact with Lexa, “You’re welcome, it was really not a problem”.

Clarke needed to go. She was not sure what was happening, but she needed to go. Lexa starting walking Clarke towards to the door, neither of them saying a word. Once Lexa opened the door Clarke stepped out into the hallway.

“Do you want me to walk you back to Lincoln’s apartment?” Lexa asked calmly, no signs of any awkwardness in her voice.

“No, it’s ok I remember the way”, Clarke said as she turned and took a quick look at Lexa.

Green eyes met Clarke’s only this time she could have sworn they were a shade darker. Clarke waved goodbye and made her way back to party.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a dream. Texting ensues. Lexa visits Clarke at the hospital.

_Clarke closed her eyes and moaned into the kiss as hands grabbed at her waist before smoothing over her back as she felt the zipper to her dress being opened up. Those same hands reached up and pulled her dress down and she felt it fall to the ground leaving her in only her underwear. Hands grabbed at her breasts, massaging and pinching her hard nipples. They moved towards the bed and Clarke fell back with their hands never leaving her body. Their lips pressed together again, Clarke feeling their tongue lick across her lips before they sucked her bottom lip into their mouth. Clarke moaned deep in her throat and opened her mouth pulling their tongue in and sucking on it. As they continued to kiss Clarke felt their hands sliding further down her body going over her stomach and pulling her underwear down. One hand came back up to her breasts while the other massaged her inner thigh, drawing slow circles that had her feeling dizzy with lust. She needed that hand to move higher, she needed to feel them inside her. Clarke broke the kiss and begged in a whisper, “Please…”. She then felt two fingers slide inside her and she groaned out loud throwing her head back and arching her body up into their touch. She tilted her head back down and looked up…emerald green eyes dark as night looked back at her…”Yes, Lexa” she screamed out…_

Clarke woke up in a panic. She felt an arm draped over her stomach and looked down…it was Finn’s. Clarke carefully picked his arm up and moved it behind her as she climbed out of her bed. She went into the bathroom and splashed some water on her face…she was sweating. They had returned from the party hours ago and had sex, but she felt more worked up now than she had when her and Finn had been together earlier. 

Clarke knew her and Lexa had definitely had a moment when she was in Lexa’s apartment, there was no denying it, but she barely knew this girl and now she was dreaming about her…WTF. 

Clarke shook her head in confusion and then she felt it…she felt guilty. When she and Finn had gotten back to her apartment Clarke knew she was still caught up in that moment when she kissed him…when she felt his hands on her body…when he was inside of her…And now she was dreaming of Lexa while in bed with him. Clarke grabbed a t-shirt and put it on before walking out to her living room. She curled up on the couch with a blanket not ready to get back in bed with Finn when the images from her dream were still so fresh in her mind. She slowly drifted off back to sleep.

* * *

 

2 weeks later…

Lexa sat at her desk reading over some emails when she heard Anya walk through the door to the office they shared, “Look who I found”.

Lexa glanced up just as Raven walked into the room behind Anya, “Raven! What are you doing here?”.

“Is that anyway to greet your BFF?”, Raven said giving Lexa her best resting bitch face, which Lexa gave right back at Raven for several seconds before both girls broke out into laughter. 

Lexa jumped up and gave her friend a hug. Lexa and Raven had met several years ago while Lexa was out biking back in in Oregon. Lexa’s bike chain had gotten tangled and Raven was able to fix it for her. “So really?”, Lexa asked, “What brings you to LA?”. 

Raven looked excited as she went to answer, “I applied for an IT job out here working at one of the television production studios. I got a call the other day about an interview and I decided to come down a day early so we could hang out”. 

Lexa was glad to see her friend. Anya was right she did need to get out more. “That’s great news Raven, I hope everything works out”, Lexa said before giving Raven another hug. Lexa offered to have Raven stay at her place, but the production studio had put her up in a hotel since she had come from out of state for the interview. The three girls made plans to meet up later for dinner and Raven left to go get checked in at her hotel.

Later that night… 

Lexa saw Anya smirking and knew it was no good, “So Lexa tell us more about this blonde doctor who came to your rescue”.

Lexa glared at Anya regretting that she had told her about Clarke and what happened at Lincoln’s party. “She didn’t come to my rescue Anya”, Lexa said as she stared back at her sister.

“No, but it sounds like she’d be willing to…come”, Anya laughed as Lexa blushed a dark shade of red.

“Stop Anya, just stop. You’re drunk and being ridiculous”, Lexa said.

Raven chimed in, “Ok, I’m going to need to get filled in here”.  

Lexa huffed and begrudgingly told the story as the three girls sat around a hightop table by the bar at a local restaurant near Lexa’s loft. She explained how she had met Clarke at the hospital and then again at Lincoln’s party. She tried to downplay what happened in her loft, but the grins on both Anya and Raven’s faces told her she hadn’t downplayed it enough. 

The truth was Lexa knew she had felt something that night…Clarke in that red dress, her hands on Lexa’s body, how could she not…but she didn’t want to admit it. “Boyfriend, she has a boyfriend”, Lexa said to them realizing she had just about yelled it.

Anya spoke up first, “I get it, but it sounds like the doc is attracted to you and I can tell from watching you talk about her that you are definitely attracted to her so boy-toy be damned”.

Lexa took a deep breath before she spoke, knowing she had a lot to say, “I’m not going to deny that I find her attractive and that I enjoy being around her, but I can’t entertain this. She’s in a relationship Anya and I’m not going to do anything that could jeopardize that so if we become friends great, but that’s as far as I would take things and you both know why”.

Anya exchange a look at Raven and then looked back at Lexa, “Of course Lexa, I was just messing with you. I’m sorry, I know what you went through with Costia was hard and I shouldn’t have joked about this”.

Lexa nodded and Anya changed the subject asking Raven about her job interview.  

* * *

 

Lexa walked into her apartment after getting back from dinner and noticed her cell phone was dead so she plugged it into charge. They hadn’t stayed out too late since Raven had her job interview in the morning so Lexa decided to take a shower and watch some TV before going to bed. After finishing with her shower she walked back out to her living room and grabbed her phone before laying down on the couch and turning on the TV. She looked down at her phone and noticed she had several unread text messages from a number not in her contacts. 

_Unknown - Hey Lexa, It’s Clarke Griffin. I hope you don’t mind, I had Octavia get your number for me from Lincoln._

_Unknown - I wanted to make sure and remind you about coming by the hospital this week to get your stitches taken out._

Lexa couldn’t hold back a smile. She noticed that those messages had come a few of hours ago and she saw there was another message that had come more recently. 

_Unknown - It’s Clarke again, I hope this didn’t come off creepy. Sorry if I overstepped._

Lexa thought for a few moments before texting Clarke back.

_Lexa - Hey Clarke it’s Lexa. Sorry my phone died and I’m just getting your texts now._

_Lexa - No need to worry I haven’t filed a restraining order yet._

Just a couple minutes later Lexa saw that Clarke was replying. 

_Clarke - That’s a relief, I was already picturing the story on TMZ._

_Lexa - Lol, I’m pretty sure they don’t know who I am._

_Clarke - I wouldn’t be so sure Ms. 300k followers._

_Lexa - Have you been Googling me?_

_Clarke - Well when I stalk someone…_

_Lexa - Maybe I need to rethink that restraining order._

_Clarke - Lol, seriously though make sure to come by and get those stitches taken out._

_Clarke - I’m working tomorrow until 8p, if you can come by._

_Lexa - I have some meetings in the afternoon, but I should be able to swing by after._

_Clarke - Ok, sounds good. Just text me and let me know._

_Lexa - Will do and thanks Clarke. Have a good night._

_Clarke - You too Lexa._

* * *

The next day was a busy day for Clarke at the hospital. She finally had a few minutes free around 5p and was able to go grab a snack which was the first break she had all day. She checked her phone while she sat in the cafeteria snacking on some grapes. Clarke saw she had a text from Lexa saying her meetings had ran long and she wouldn’t be able to come by until close to the end of Clarke’s shift. Clarke sent her a text back saying that was fine and to text her when she got to the hospital. It was close to 8p when Clarke felt her phone vibrate. She checked her phone and had a text from Lexa saying she had just gotten to the hospital. Clarke texted her back saying she’d meet her in the ER lobby and made her way in that direction. 

As Clarke walked to go meet Lexa she had this sudden feeling of excitement at getting to see her again which also made her feel uneasy. She quickly reminded herself that there was nothing to feel guilty about. Clarke thought to herself that it was just her looking forward to seeing someone she knew could be a good friend. Sure she had found her attractive and had that dream, but with her and Finn apart so much her love life was so erratic that it was no wonder her subconscious kicked into gear. Clarke was bisexual so it was nothing new for her to find a girl attractive and she enjoyed Lexa’s company, but there was nothing more. And when she had asked Octavia if she could get her Lexa’s number it was the doctor in her just wanting to look out for a patient/friend…that was all.

When Clarke got to the lobby she saw Lexa sitting in a chair and noticed she was wearing a pair of torn jeans and a band t-shirt, Kings of Leon, with some leather boots. She also noticed there was a motorcycle helmet and a leather jacket sitting in the chair next to her. Clarke pushed aside the image of Lexa on a motorcycle and her thoughts on how she looked. 

“Hey there” Clarke said as she walked up to Lexa who stood up and greeted her with a smile.

Lexa smiled back and stood up, “Sorry for coming so late, these meetings just seem to never end sometimes”.

“First world problems of the rich and famous”, Clarke replied and she saw Lexa blush slightly.

“Very funny”, Lexa said.

Clarke then walked Lexa to an exam room down the hall. When they got into the room Clarke closed the door and when she turned around she saw Lexa was reaching to unbutton her jeans. Clarke turned to face away from her, “Oh, um…do you want me to get you something to change into?”.

“No, it’s ok I came prepared”, Lexa said with a laugh at how Clarke had reacted.

Clarke let out a nervous laugh as she turned back around and saw Lexa was still pulling her jeans off. Clarke looked around the room trying to not be weird and saw Lexa had worn a pair of gym shorts under her jeans. 

Clarke removed Lexa’s stitches and saw that the cut had healed nicely, she told Lexa she should not have very much of a scar.

Lexa spoke up as she was getting dressed, “So I was going to go grab something to eat. Would you like to join me? Nothing fancy, just my treat for staying late at work for me”. Clarke didn’t reply immediately and Lexa thought she might have crossed a line not meaning to and scrabbled for something else to say. “I mean that is if you want to go and don’t have plans with your boyfriend or just want to go home since I know you’ve been working all day”.

Clarke thought it was nice of Lexa to offer, it had just caught her off guard. “Yeah no, I don’t have any plans. I’m actually starving so that sounds great”. They made plans to meet at this 24 hour diner that was not too far from the hospital. Clarke had told Lexa to go ahead and she would meet her there after she wrapped up and changed. 

Clarke pulled into the parking lot of the diner and saw a motorcycle parked near the front door. It was black with silver accents and had the word Triumph on the side of the gas tank. She figured it must be Lexa’s so she parked in the open spot next to it. When Clarke walked into the diner she saw Lexa wave from a booth towards the back. 

Lexa saw that Clarke had changed into a sweater and a pair jeans. Lexa couldn’t help her thoughts as she watched Clarke walking towards her, _“how could this girl make the simplest outfit look so good”_. 

Clarke sat down at the booth and quickly grabbed a menu. “Thanks for inviting me. I’m starving and tired so it was this or peanut butter and crackers because I have no energy to cook anything tonight”.

Lexa thought for a second before speaking up, “Does Finn not cook?”.

Clarke looked over at Lexa who was still looking at her menu, “He does some, but we don’t live together so during the week I’m usually on my own. To be honest I’m sort of the takeout Queen, I’ve never been very good at cooking”.

Lexa nodded and didn’t say what she was thinking… _”Finn should take better care of Clarke”_ …but she brushed it off since she really didn’t know their situation. 

The waitress came by the table to take their orders. Clarke ordered waffles with whipped cream, a side of bacon and some hot tea…”What?” Clarke said as she looked over at Lexa who had made a surprised face after hearing Clarke’s order.

Lexa smiled shaking her head side to side, “Oh, nothing…just the typical order you’d expect from someone in the medical field”.

Clarke laughed, “You’d be surprised”.

Lexa ordered a burger with fries and a vanilla milkshake, earning her own look from Clarke. Lexa raised her eyebrows at Clarke signaling her to speak up, “Oh, nothing…just the typical order you’d expect from some extreme athlete”.

Both girls laughed. The dinner was off to a good start. Once again Lexa found it easy to talk with Clarke. There were never awkward moments where they didn’t have something to talk about, their conversation just felt natural. 

“So how did you become so famous and successful”, Clarke asked Lexa and immediately put up her hand to stop Lexa as she saw her going to make a quick reply, “and I don’t want to hear the whole I’m not famous thing again, remember you’re talking to your stalker…I’ve done research”.

Lexa creased her forehead together in thought, “That reminds me I still need to go fill out that restraining order”.

“Don’t change the subject, you can have me in cuffs later…”. Clarke realized how that sounded right after she had said it. Clarke looked at Lexa who’s face didn’t show any signs that the comment at made her uncomfortable.

Lexa simply laughed and replied as if Clarke hadn’t just made a fool of herself like she felt, “ Ok, but it’s no glamorous story really”. Lexa began, “I started a blog to journal my trips and hikes and really any outdoor activities I did. I’m a big outdoors person. I grew up mostly in Oregon so the woods are my home. One day after I had been doing the blog for a couple of years this guy who was an Olympic athlete came across it and posted a link to it on his Twitter. The next thing I knew these guys at the X-Games were sharing my pics and commenting on my site. It just blew up from there”. 

Lexa looked at Clarke gauging her reaction, “See, just dumb luck really”.

Clark huffed out, “Are you kidding me, that’s awesome. I saw some of the pictures in your apartment and some more on your blog…because stalker. They looked amazing and those are all things you’ve done and still do…it’s kind of a big deal. The average person doesn’t do those things. I mean the most extreme thing I can do is put on my makeup while driving”.

Lexa let out a loud laugh. “Well you’ve got me on that one, but it’s just my hobby really and everyone has one, I just got lucky.  It could happen to anyone, even you, do you have any interesting hobbies?”.

Clarke thought for a second, “Well nothing as glamorous as yours, but I do like to draw…sketches mostly, but I also do some painting too. I find it relaxes me”. Lexa smiled, “See I knew you had some hidden talent you were holding back on other than being an extreme makeup artist”. Both girls laughed.

Their food came and Lexa decided she wanted to ask Clarke more about herself, “So why’d you get into the medicine field?”.

Clarke finished eating a bite of her waffle before she replied. “Well my mom is a surgeon, she actually works at Mount Weather, and I’ve always admired how dedicated and proud she was of her work”, Clarke paused for moment. She glanced down and Lexa saw a brief flash of sadness come over Clarke’s face, “There’s also my Dad. He was in a bad car accident. It happened when I was 10 and the doctor’s weren’t able to save him. I guess I just wanted to do something that could help people like it could somehow make up for that”. Clarke felt stupid for having turned their conversation so serious, she was just so comfortable talking to Lexa it had just come out. Clarke looked up ready to apologize for ruining the light mood, but she stopped when her eyes met Lexa’s. When Clarke looked at Lexa she saw she had this look of understanding in her eyes. 

Lexa reached out across the table and placed her hand on top of Clarke’s like she knew Clarke was thinking about apologizing and was telling her she didn’t have to. “I get it”, was all Lexa said and pulled her hand back.

Clarke was slightly stunned by the gesture from Lexa, she didn’t know what to say. It was so simple yet it was so sweet at the same time. 

They each sat there for a moment not saying anything just eating in silence, but Clarke noticed it wasn’t awkward at all. They chatted some more about nothing really just small talk. They talked about TV shows they were currently watching and books they had read. They each realized they had a lot of common interests. Lexa asked for the check as it was getting late and paid for their meal.

Clarke had tried to convince her she didn’t have to, but Lexa stopped her, “Remember I’m the rich and famous one”, she said with a smirk on her face. Clark laughed and conceded. They walked outside and stood by their vehicles.

“Thanks for dinner Lexa, it’s been nice getting to know you”.

“Same here Clarke, I guess I can thank that stupid rock for helping me to make friends in LA”, Lexa said.

Both girls smiled. Lexa put on her leather jacket and grabbed her helmet off the back of her bike, “Have a good night Clarke”.

“You too Lexa, and be safe driving home”.

Clarke got into her car and watched as Lexa started her motorcycle, yep she had gotten the image right. Clark thought for a moment as she waved bye to Lexa…if she was being honest with herself that was one of the best nights she’d had in a while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you guys like it too. I have a couple more chapters almost ready to post that I hope to get finished with soon. Thanks for the comments and kudos! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke spends the night at Lexa's...

Lexa was happy. Over the past few weeks her and Clarke’s friendship had continued to grow. They texted almost everyday and had met up for lunch a few a times when their schedules matched up. She was enjoying getting to know Clarke. Lexa was smiling to herself as she thought about her new friend while she was out on a hike with Lincoln. They were taking one of the trails that went up to the Hollywood sign. 

“What are you smiling about?” Lincoln asked with a smirk on his face, “You’re new BFF Clarke?”. 

Lexa laughed, “I don’t know if we have reached BFF status”. 

Lincoln stopped walking and huffed out a breath of air, “Oh c’mon Lexa, Octavia was telling me she thinks Clarke talks to you just as much if not more than she does to her. And apparently she talks _about_ you a lot…”. Lincoln said that last part with a hint of insinuation in his voice.

Lexa stopped walking and turned to look at him with a death glare. “We are just friends Lincoln and you know she’s in a relationship”. 

Lincoln looked to the side, contemplating his next words, and then back at Lexa, “Look I’m going to say this to get it off my chest and put it out there. Finn is a great guy and yeah they make a good couple, but he’s always gone with his work and even though they have been together for almost a year it’s not like a really serious wedding bells in their future relationship from what I can tell. I’ve seen you and Clarke interact and there is chemistry there that’s nothing like I’ve seen between them ever”. 

Lexa took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Lexa had never told Lincoln about what happened between her and her ex-girlfriend Costia and she really didn’t feel like going into it right now. “Look Lincoln, I am not going to deny that Clarke and I get along really well and sure I find her attractive _…I mean how could anyone not…_ but she is with Finn. I can’t be that person, the one who breaks up a relationship. Say I did push things and they broke up and then what if things didn’t workout between us, then what? Two ruined relationships later and I don’t even have Clarke as a friend. I can’t take that chance, I can’t put myself through all of that”. _Not again…_ Lexa thought to herself without saying it out loud. 

Lincoln looked at Lexa with an understanding look on his face, “Lexa, I’m sorry if I pushed things too far with what I said”.

Lexa sighed and smiled up at her friend knowing he had meant well, “It’s ok Lincoln, I know it was coming from a good place”. They finished their hike without speaking about it again. Lexa knew she and Clarke could be more if the situation was right, but it wasn’t so there was no point in thinking about “what if’s”.

* * *

A couple weeks later…

Clarke pulled her phone out to text Lexa while she had a break in her shift at the hospital. They had made plans to hangout since both of them had the upcoming weekend off and Finn was out of town on work again. She and Lexa had plans to binge watch some episodes of one of their favorite shows, Game of Thrones. They had both missed most of the past season and were dying to get caught up. 

_Clarke - Winter is Coming_

_Lexa - Saturday_

_Clarke - Lol, OMG I cannot wait._

_Lexa - I know, I’ll be glad to not have to avoid the spoiler posts anymore._

_Clarke - So I’ll bring the wine._

_Lexa - Sounds good, leave the food up to me._

_Clarke - Ok, see you on Saturday around 5p?_

_Lexa  - Hodor_

_Clarke - Dork :)_

Clarke got to Lexa’s apartment around 5p and when she got up to her door she could smell something amazing. She knocked and just a few seconds later Lexa opened the door. “Hey you”, Lexa greeted her with a warm smile which Clarke returned. They had been texting each other, but it had been over a week since they had met up for lunch. Clarke would be lying if she said she had not been looking forward to coming over that night, maybe more than she wanted to admit. 

Lexa stepped aside and Clarke walked into her apartment. She went over to the kitchen and sat the two bottles of wine down on the counter. “I brought one red and one white, covering both bases”, Clarke said as she watched Lexa walk over to the stove to tend to what she was cooking.

Lexa turned around and looked at the wine, “I’m sure neither will go to waste”.

Clarke was dying to know what she was cooking, “So what did you make? It smells amazing”.

Lexa pulled a roasting pan out of the oven and placed it on the counter, “Nothing fancy, just a roast chicken with some roasted vegetables”.

Clarke, who’s idea of cooking was opening up a box and reading the directions was impressed, “Yum, dish it up. I’m ready to dive into that and this show”. 

Clarke sat down on the couch with her plate of food and got comfy as Lexa handed her a glass of wine and sat down on the couch as well. She and Lexa sat on opposite ends of the couch in Lexa’s living room as they ate their dinner and started their Game of Thrones binge. They took a break after a couple of episodes. Clarke was looking over Lexa’s bookshelf while she was in the kitchen cleaning up. Clarke scanned Lexa’s collection of books noting she had good taste…Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, Into the Wild, On the Road and also some classics like Catcher in the Rye and To Kill a Mockingbird. 

Clarke also noticed a few pictures of her with the same woman, “So is this your sister Anya?”. Clarke knew Lexa had a sister, but she had been of town for the past couple of weeks and Clarke had not met her yet.

Lexa walked up beside Clarke as she replied handing her another glass of wine, “Yeah that’s Anya. When she gets back in town we will all have to hangout”. They walked back over to the couch and sat down on opposite ends again.

Clarke sipped her wine,”The two of you seem close”.

Lexa smiled, “We are very close”. Lexa looked down at her glass of wine as she contemplated her next words, “We grew up in foster homes together”. Lexa paused, “Clarke, our parents died in a car accident when we were really young. That’s why when you told me about your Dad, I…well I can relate”.

Clarke’s heart broke for Lexa. At least Clarke had her mother. Lexa had lost both of her parents. 

Lexa looked over at Clarke and could tell what she had said had effected her, “Lexa…I’m so sorry”.

Lexa looked at her reassuringly, “It’s ok Clarke, it happened a long time ago and I was really so young that I don’t even remember much about them”.

Clarke felt herself wanting to say more to comfort Lexa, to express how much she really did understand. Before Clarke could say anything Lexa spoke up again, “So enough of our sad stories, lets get back into these characters sad stories”. Clarke let out a small laugh blinking back the tears she had felt forming and was glad Lexa had told her about her parents. Clarke found herself wanting to know more and more about her as they became better friends. 

* * *

Lexa woke up some time in the middle of the night. She was immediately aware of two things. One, her and Clarke had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch while watching Tv and two, she had fallen down on the couch so that she was laying beside Clarke and her hands had fallen around Clarke’s waist. Lexa slowly went to sit up and move her arms trying to not wake Clarke up in the process, but as she tried to move she felt Clarke start to stir a bit and snuggle her body into hers. _“Great”_ , Lexa thought, _“She probably thinks I’m Finn” ,…_ that was when she heard it. As Clarke was turning her body more into hers, Lexa heard Clarke sigh while letting out a breath of air and in a husky whisper she said her name _“…Lexa…”._

Lexa froze, unsure if Clarke was waking up or still asleep. After several seconds she could tell Clarke was definitely asleep _…and saying her name_. She felt herself both want to hear it again and at the same time she wished she had never heard it at all. Lexa tried getting up again and she was able to do so without waking Clarke up. She went and grabbed a blanket from the closet and gently draped it over Clarke. 

Lexa allowed herself to look down at Clarke for a few more seconds. Clarke looked even more beautiful while she slept, if that was even possible, and Lexa sighed _…if only things were different._ Lexa quietly turned off the Tv and the lights before going into her bedroom to change and lie down. Once in her bed Lexa slowly drifted off to sleep…the sound of Clark saying her name still in her head.  

* * *

Clarke woke up the next morning in a slightly confused panic. She sat up quickly, at first not knowing where she was. As she looked around she relaxed as she realized she was at Lexa’s and quickly remember coming over to Lexa’s the night before. Clarke groaned, she must have fallen asleep while they were watching Tv. She noticed a note on the coffee table in front of the couch that had her name on it.

_Clarke,_

_I’ve gone for a run. There is coffee and breakfast in the kitchen. Help yourself._

_Lexa_

Clarke smiled at the note and got up and walked into the kitchen. Sure enough there was a fresh pot of coffee made and a box of what looked like homemade granola bars. She helped herself to one thinking it was probably one of the healthiest breakfasts she’d had in awhile and poured herself a cup of coffee. 

As Clarke sat at the kitchen counter enjoying her breakfast she couldn’t shake the fact that she had yet again had a dream about Lexa and while sleeping in her apartment. She couldn’t remember much from it, but she did remember how real it had felt…Lexa’s arms holding her while she slept…”Ugh”, she groaned out loud, she really needed to get her libido in check. Clarke thought maybe she should go before Lexa got back so things weren’t awkward, but she didn’t want to be rude since after all Lexa had gotten breakfast for them. 

Before she could make up her mind she heard the door being unlocked and watched as someone walked into the apartment, someone who was not Lexa. She recognized her immediately from the pictures she had seen last night.

“Hi, umm…you must be Anya…I’m Clarke and I’m not a burglar”. 

* * *

Lexa had woken up early and went and grabbed something from the bakery around the corner from her loft for breakfast. She had made some coffee and left Clarke a note before going for her run. She had thought things would be less awkward if Clarke was able to wake up and have the apartment to herself. Lexa thought she might just want to head home after getting up and with Lexa not being there she could do it without things being weird. Lexa thought back to the night before, she had a great time hanging out with Clarke. Lexa’s mind drifted…waking up with her arms around Clarke…Clarke saying her name as she slept…Lexa shook her head and quickened her pace and decided she needed to push it out of her mind. She wanted to be friends with Clarke and she couldn’t let things get complicated, she was enjoying their friendship too much to let that happen. Lexa turned the next corner and started making her way back to her building. 

* * *

 

Clarke was beyond embarrassed at getting caught in Lexa’s apartment like this and by Lexa’s sister. She knew how this looked and she tried to explain it all to Anya as calmly as she could manage. Anya had introduced herself after she walked into the apartment. Clarke had explained how she had come over the night before to watch Tv and she had fallen asleep on the couch. Anya had just smiled and said a simple “oh, ok”. She was making herself a cup of coffee now while Clarke sat at the kitchen counter in awkward silence for what felt like an eternity. 

Anya finally spoke while she drank her coffee giving Clarke a studying gaze, “So you're the Clarke I’ve been hearing so much about lately”.

Clarke was a little surprised to hear that Lexa had mentioned her that much and she found she liked knowing it, Clarke nodded, “That would be me”. Anya did not seem very excited to be meeting one of Lexa’s friends, although given the circumstances Clarke couldn’t blame her. Clarke decided to keep the conversation going, “Lexa and I are becoming good friends, I’m enjoying getting to know her. She…”, but Clarke was cut off by Anya who spoke up and over her.

“Look Clarke I don’t mean to come across too strong, but Lexa is my sister and I love her and I don't want to see her get hurt. I know you are seeing someone and I know my sister and she would never step over that line for a lot of reasons especially some that are not mine to explain, but don’t play games with her”. 

Clarke was slightly stunned by Anya’s words, but at the same time she knew where she was coming from and she respected that she was just looking out for her sister. “Anya, you’re right I am seeing someone. Lexa and I are just friends, I think we are becoming really good friends and I would never do anything to jeopardize that. I get where you are coming from though, just know that I am respecting those same boundaries”. 

Clarke could see that Anya was thinking and about to say something else when the door to the apartment opened and in walked Lexa returning from her run. When Lexa walked into the apartment she was slightly stunned by what she found seeing her sister standing in the kitchen with Clarke also still in the apartment. Her mind immediately went into _“need to explain this without sounding crazy”_ mode.

“Anya, I’m surprised to see you here. I guess you’ve met Clarke, well I mean obviously you have. Um…she was over watching Tv last night and we…”, Lexa said.

Anya cut her sister off putting an end to her rambling on, “Lexa, no need to panic, I didn’t call the cops. Clarke was quick to inform me that she had not broken in and murdered you before making coffee”.

Lexa let out a nervous laugh and noticed Clarke did the same. 

Anya spoke up again as she grabbed something out of her bag, “I was just stopping by to drop these papers off for you to look over before our meetings on Monday.” Anya had been on a trip to visit with some companies who wanted to make endorsement deals with Lexa. Anya placed the papers on the counter, “So now that I’ve done that I’ll leave you two to finish your breakfast. It was nice to meet you Clarke”.

Clarke felt herself crawl up out of the hole she had mentally dug for herself before replying, “It was nice to meet you too”.

Anya walked past Lexa giving her a smirk before she walked out of the apartment. Lexa knew she was going to catch hell for this later. 

“Sorry about that, I didn’t know she was going to come by”, Lexa said to Clarke as she went to pour herself a cup of coffee.

“It’s ok, I’m sorry for falling sleeping here last night. You should have just woken me up”, Clarke said.

Lexa took a sip of her coffee, “Don’t apologize, I’m guilty of falling asleep too. I guess we tried to pack too many episodes into one night. Besides it was the middle of the night when I woke up and too late for me to have woken you up to go home”. Lexa’s mind went back to when she had woken up to find her arms around Clarke. Lexa quickly dropped her thoughts hoping Clarke had been in a deep enough sleep to not remember any of it. 

Clarke was glad things hadn't been awkward last night or now, she really enjoyed being around Lexa, “Well thanks for letting me crash here, I think I’ll be heading home now. I need a shower, I can imagine I look like a mess. I have some errands to run and I’m sure you have things you need to be doing too. Oh and thanks for breakfast, it was really nice of you to go get us something”.

Lexa smiled and assured Clarke it was no bother before she said goodbye to her friend as she left the apartment. 

After Clarke left Lexa stood leaning up against her kitchen counter for several minutes finishing her cup of coffee and trying to ignore the feeling she had…she already missed Clarke…she was in trouble. 

* * *

Clarke had gone home and taken a shower before going out to run some errands. She had just gotten back home and finished putting the groceries she had bought away when she heard her phone go off. 

She grabbed her phone and saw Octavia was calling her and she answered, “Hey Octavia, what’s up?”.

“Why don’t you tell me Clarke” was Octavia’s reply.

Clark was surprised by Octavia’s tone, it was playful, “I’m not sure what you mean”.

“Oh I think you do, but I’ll help you out…where’d you sleep at last night?”, Octavia said.

Clarke paused and tried to think of the best way to answer, but she hesitated too long and before she could reply Octavia cut in again. “Look Clarke, I know you were at Lexa’s last night. Not to be all nosy about it or anything, but Lincoln saw you leaving her apartment this morning”.

Clarke groaned as she knew how that must have looked and the assumption that Octavia was making. “Look Octavia nothing happened. I went over to watch Game of Thrones with Lexa last night and I fell asleep on her couch…end of story”.

Clarke waited to hear Octavia reply, “Clarke you are so lame”.

Clarke let out a laugh, “Sorry to disappoint you, but no I did not cheat on my boyfriend last night with Lexa”. 

Octavia sighed, “I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt Finn, but I’ve seen how you look when you talk about Lexa and when Lincoln told me I just jumped to a certain conclusion”.

Clarke was relieved to have explained the situation, but also bothered by Octavia’s comment about how she apparently looks when talking about Lexa. “It’s ok O, I know how it must have looked. Lexa and I are just friends though and you know I’m happy with Finn”.

Octavia spoke next, “I’m glad you are happy and Finn is good guy so don’t get me wrong it’s just that you guys hardly see each other so my mind just went there. Besides you and Lexa would make a hot couple…I’m just sayin’. I would totally ship that and wear the Team Clexa t-shirt if you ever decided you wanted to be happy with someone else”.

Clarke laughed, “You are too much and please make sure to tell Lincoln his detective skills will not be needed”.

Octavia laughed in return, “Will do Clarke, I’ll talk to you later”.

Clarke ended the call with Octavia and let out another laugh shaking her head. Clarke stood in her apartment alone, her mind went back to Octavia’s comment about her and Lexa making a hot couple. Clarke pictured Lexa…her tan skin, her green eyes, her full lips. Clarke had one thought…she was in trouble. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feels flowing between the two of them as this slow burn continues. Thanks as always for the kind comments. They really help inspire me to keep writing this story. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa goes on a blind date and Clarke gets jealous. Has she finally started to accept her feelings???

It was early in the morning when Lexa and Anya walked into the coffee shop near their office and Lexa saw there was of course a line. Lexa was a barely functioning human being early in the morning without coffee and she groaned at the sight of the line. After a couple of minutes Lexa saw Anya turn towards her with a smirk and she knew what it meant. It had been several days since Anya had found Clarke in Lexa’s apartment and Lexa had managed to avoid the conversation, but she could tell her time was up. 

“So…”, Anya began. “About the other day…”. 

Lexa rolled her eyes. “The other day was nothing Anya. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that we are just friends”. 

Lexa was surprised to see the smirk leave Anya’s face when she replied, “Lexa, you know I want you to make new friends here. I just think the situation with Clarke is…complicated. I don’t want you getting hurt, I can’t see you go through that again”. 

Lexa winced slightly at Anya’s last comment. She had been hurt, badly, in her last real relationship. While it had been 2 years since she was with Costia it still hurt and she still had a hard time trusting people. Lexa had gone through a reckless time after things ended with them. She had dated a few girls, two at one time, not for very long. Then there was the period of drunkin’ one night stands she had gone through that she’d rather forget. Anya had been the one to ground her from spiraling out of control. 

Lexa knew her sister was only looking out for her. “Anya, I’m fully aware of the situation with Clarke and I have it under control. I’m honestly happy with just being her friend”. At that Lexa saw they had finally made it up to the counter and she was glad for the break in the conversation as they ordered their coffees…Lexa made hers a double. 

After getting their drinks they began walking back to their office. Lexa was hoping that Anya was done interrogating her about Clarke and she was glad when she did change the subject. “So are we still on for going out Saturday night?”, Anya asked. 

Raven’s interview with the production studio had gone well and she had accepted the job offer. Raven had been wrapping up things where she had been working in Oregon and was in the process of moving down to LA. Raven was going to be in town this week and they had planned on going out this weekend to celebrate. 

“Yep, still on for Saturday at that club The Ark”, Lexa replied. “I invited Lincoln, Octavia and Clarke. I’m looking forward to them meeting Raven. I think they might have some other friends who will be there too and of course Clarke will bring Finn”.

Anya glanced her way, “Of course”. Before Lexa could comment back Anya spoke up again. “So I have someone I want you to meet and I think Saturday will be a good opportunity”.

Lexa stopped walking, “Anya, I don’t need you playing matchmaker”. 

Anya laughed, “Umm, yes you do, it’s not like you are having any luck on your own…need I bring up “Swimfan” girl”.

Lexa sighed, “Please don’t…lesson learned, social media and dating do not mix”.

Anya laughed, “Exactly. Trust me Lexa, I know you're type and I think you and this girl will hit it off. I met her at that sporting goods vendor show I went to last week and I’ve already told her about you and invited her to come out Saturday so…”.

Lexa knew there was no way she was getting out of this so she gave in which was easier than fighting a battle she knew she would loose. “Ok, Anya I’ll meet her”. Lexa rolled her eyes as she saw Anya gloating over her victory as they walked back into their office. 

Saturday came around and Lexa decided to hit the gym that morning. She had joined the gym that Lincoln owned called Grounders not long after she had met him. Lexa walked inside and was on her way back to the weights area when she saw Clarke running on a treadmill. Lexa smiled as she started to walk over to her. She realized they hadn’t spoken or texted much since she had been over at her apartment the other night to watch Tv. As she was about to walk up to Clarke she was interrupted by someone calling out her name. Lexa turned in the direction of the voice and saw Finn walking towards her. She looked back towards Clarke and saw that she must have heard and was looking in their direction while slowing down her pace on the treadmill.  

Lexa felt herself have to force a smile, “Hey Finn, how are you?”.

Finn smiled back as he wiped his forehead with a towel, “I’m doing good, glad to be back in town for a while and able to get into the gym. Work has been kind of crazy for me lately. How’s your business going?”.

Lexa saw Clarke had gotten off the treadmill and was walking over towards them.

“Things are going really well. I’ve been busy too, but it’s good”, Lexa said.

By now Clarke was standing next to Finn and Lexa didn’t miss how he moved his arm around Clarke’s waist after she walked over to them… _damn him and that arm,_ she couldn’t help herself for thinking it.

Clarke spoke up next bringing Lexa out of her thoughts, “Hey, I didn’t know you came to this gym”.

Lexa forget her train of thought for a second thanks to Clarke’s sports bra and bare midriff, but she quickly recovered. “Umm yeah I usually go to the one by my office, but I decided to do a weights class today and it was being offered at this location”.

Clarke nodded, “Well we better get going and let you get to your class. We are still on for tonight at The Ark, so I guess we will see you later”.

Lexa smiled before she replied, “Sounds good, I’ll see you guys tonight”. 

Lexa started walking back to the weights and turned to see Clarke and Finn walking towards the exit. She sat her gym bag down and started putting her weight lifting gloves on. When she looked up again she saw Clarke looking her way as she was about to walk out the door. Clarke smiled and waved in her direction. Lexa waved back…feeling herself force another smile. She had been truthful to Anya about wanting to be friends with Clarke, but seeing her with Finn made her feel jealous…she had to be honest with herself about that. Lexa knew she needed to get her feelings in check. Maybe meeting this girl that Anya had told her about wasn’t a bad idea after all.

* * *

Lexa stood in her bedroom watching Anya as she paced back and forth inside her walk-in closet scanning over her clothes. “Anya, I am capable of dressing myself…been doing it for a few years now”.

All Lexa got was a huff out of Anya before she chuckled her reply, “Clearly, Ms. I wear t-shirts everywhere. Honestly Lexa you have some nice clothes, you should show them and your body off more”.

Lexa just rolled her eyes and walked out into her living room knowing this was not going to be a quick process. 

Twenty minutes later Anya emerged from Lexa’s bedroom, “Excuse me madame, you’re outfit is ready”.

Lexa turned her attention away from her kindle and watched as Anya grabbed her purse and started walking towards the door of her apartment. Lexa decided on a snarky reply of her own, “That’ll be all then…”.

Anya laughed, “You can thank me later. I’m heading home to get ready. I’ll see you in a couple of hours”.

Lexa looked at her phone as Anya walked out the door and saw it was almost 6p. They were meeting at The Ark around 8p so she decided she better go see what Anya had picked out for her to wear in case she needed to find something else. 

When Lexa walked into her bedroom she saw Anya had laid the clothes she had picked out on her bed. There was a pair of leather pants, that she was sure Anya had made her buy, a dark grey henley top and a denim jacket. Lexa had to admit she liked what she had picked out for her to wear. It was still her comfortable style, but also worthy of going out to a club. Lexa took a quick shower and then found herself staring at her hair in the mirror when she heard her phone chime. When she grabbed her cell she saw a text from Anya.

_Anya: Hair down._

_Lexa: How did…never mind._

_Anya: You’re welcome._

Lexa finished getting dressed and combed her hair out like she had been instructed to do. She opted for a little more makeup than she normal wears since she was going on a date…sort of. She wasn’t thrilled with Anya setting this up, but it had been awhile since she had been on a date of any kind so she figured it was time to get back out there. She thought back to how she had felt seeing Clarke and Finn earlier at the gym and hoped that maybe if she was dating it would make that situation less…complicated as Anya had put it. She gave herself one last look in the mirror before putting on a pair converse. She grabbed the keys to her Jeep and headed out the door, a little more nervous than she had allowed herself to feel all day.

* * *

Clarke sat in the passenger seat of Finn’s truck as he drove them to the club. She was looking forward to getting to hangout with her friends tonight at The Ark, especially Lexa. They hadn’t seen each other or talked much since the other night when she had fallen asleep at her apartment. She hoped that things hadn’t become weird as she thought back to what Anya had said. She didn’t want to loose Lexa as a friend. When she had seen her in the gym she realized how much she had missed just even texting with her. She thought she noticed something different about Lexa though, she seemed sort of distant. Clarke shrugged it off as she saw they were pulling into the parking lot of the club. 

When they walked into the club Clarke scanned the room. The Ark had two floors. The first floor was the main dance area with a DJ, a large bar and booths with tables that lined the walls. There was also an area setup with some pool tables. The second floor was like a balcony that wrapped around the whole building looking down over the dance floor. The music was loud and the dance floor was crowded as they made their way through the club looking for their friends. Clarke finally spotted Lincoln and Octavia sitting with two people over at one of the large circular booths. Clarke walked up to them with Finn right beside her.

“Hey guys, you made it!”, Octavia yelled at her over the music. Octavia got up and gave Clarke a hug while Finn and Lincoln exchanged a handshake. Octavia motioned towards the other people sitting with them, “Clarke, you’ve met Echo and Monty before right?”.

Clarke recognized them from the gym, “Yeah, I’ve seen them at the gym. You guys are trainers right?”.

Monty spoke up, “Yep that’s right”.

Echo spoke next, “I’ve seen you there before too, it’s nice to see you again”.

Clarke said hello to each of them and introduced them to Finn. 

Clarke turned to look out over the dance floor when Octavia leaned into her ear, “Don’t worry, your BFF is here, she went to the bar to get drinks with Anya and Raven”.

Clarke rolled her eyes and nudged Octavia in her side with her elbow, “Octavia…really?”.

Octavia just smirked and nodded her head in the direction behind Clarke. When Clarke turned around she saw Anya walking with a brunette girl she didn't recognize, and assumed it must be Raven, and then Lexa walking behind them. She watched as Lexa walked towards them. She immediately noticed her makeup. Lexa wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup just more than she had seen her wear before. Clarke also noticed her outfit. Not everyone can pull off leather pants, but Lexa definitely was as she saw how the tight pants showed off her toned legs. Clarke liked how her outfit was a mix of her normal style with the henley top and denim jacket, but elevated slightly for being at a club. She had worn her hair down and her wavy brunette hair fell down over one of her shoulders. _Damn…_ she thought, Lexa looked great.

The three girls approached the table and greeted them as they passed around the drinks they had brought back. Clarke saw Lexa step up towards her as she introduced the other brunette girl.

“Hey Clarke, I’m glad you and Finn could make it. I’d like you to meet my friend Raven Reyes”, Lexa said.

It then registered with Clarke that Finn had stopped his conversation with Lincoln and Monty and was now standing at her side. Finn reached out and shook Raven’s hand while introducing himself. Clarke spoke up after him, “Raven, it’s nice to meet you and congrats on the new job”.

Raven smiled as she reached her hand out to shake Clarke’s. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you and how you saved my dumbass reckless friend here from loosing her leg”.

Clarke laughed and saw Lexa roll her eyes and nudge Raven’s shoulder. “It was touch and go there for a while, but she pulled through”, Clarke replied faking a serious face before giving Raven a wink.

Raven smiled, “Pretty, smart and a sense of humor, Finn you’ve got a keeper here I think”.

Clarke felt herself blush slightly and then she felt Finn lean in and place a kiss on her cheek, “Yeah I’m a lucky guy”. Clarke looked over at Finn and then back towards Raven. She caught Lexa’s eyes and saw her take a sip of her drink before looking away towards the dance floor. 

Finn went to the bar with Lincoln and Monty to get them some drinks so it was just the girls sitting around the table. Clarke was talking to Octavia when she heard Anya say something to Lexa that caught her attention.

“Lexa, I just got a text from Harper. She’s stuck in traffic, but she's on her way”.

Clarke saw Raven and Anya smirking at Lexa who looked slightly uncomfortable even though Clarke could tell she was trying to not let the girls effect her. Clarke had noticed she had been kind of quiet so far that night. Clarke glanced over at Octavia with a questioning look as if she had missed something.

Anya must have noticed because she spoke up, “I sort of set Lexa up on a blind date tonight. Harper is a girl I met at this vendor show last week and I thought they should meet”.

Clarke suddenly felt really uneasy and she didn’t know why. She figured Lexa dated even though she had never heard her mention anyone. It shouldn’t have come as such a surprise to her…but it did. She looked at Lexa not knowing why or what she was trying to convey in her stare. After a few seconds they both looked away. 

Finn brought Clark her drink and asked if she wanted to dance. She said yes and grabbed Octavia’s arm to drag her and Lincoln out onto the dance floor as well. The DJ was playing a song by Drake. The music mixed with the alcohol Clarke had in her system help her to loosen up some on the dance floor. At one point she turned around and pushed her body up against Finn. She felt his hands gliding over her body and she closed her eyes. His jeans rubbed against her legs where her dress had risen up some from dancing. Suddenly she found herself wondering what it would feel like to be dancing like this with Lexa. To have her toned legs wrapped in those leather pants sliding alongside her. To have Lexa’s hands sliding over her breasts and grabbing her hips pulling their bodies together. She could feel her body reacting to her thoughts. Her stomach clenched and she pulled Finn in for a kiss, which is when she came back to her senses. When she stopped the kiss she excused herself to the restroom. Once inside the restroom she splashed some cold water on her face and looked into the mirror. She spoke out loud to herself… “get it together Griffin”.

* * *

Lexa sat at the booth and couldn’t help watching Clarke as she danced with Finn. She was wearing a short black dress that hugged her body. Right now Finn had his hands all over that body as Clarke was grinding into him. Lexa had to look away. Everyone had gone out to the dance floor except her and Anya. Lexa wasn't much for dancing and Anya had stayed behind with her at the table.

All of sudden Anya grabbed Lexa’s attention, “She’s here!”.

Lexa looked over at Anya who was smiling at her with a cheshire cat grin. Lexa had almost forgotten about her blind date. Anya stood up by the table and started waving towards the entrance of the club. Lexa looked in that direction and saw a blonde girl walking towards them looking around before seeing Anya and giving her a smile. Lexa thought _…a blonde, really Anya, why so subtle?…_

Lexa stood up from the table as Harper walked over to them. Anya greeted her first, “Hey, I’m glad you could make it”.

Harper smiled with a shrug, “So am I, sorry I was so late. There was a wreck on the interstate and I got stuck in some bad traffic”.

Anya was shaking her head, “No worries. Let me introduce you to my sister. Harper, this is Lexa”.

Lexa reached her hand out to Harper’s, “Hi, I’m Lexa. It’s nice to meet you”.

Harper smiled as she took Lexa’s hand and gave it a gently shake.

Anya stood there looking between them, “Right, well I’m going to go find Raven. You two have fun”. Lexa thought she heard Anya mumble something about this better work as she walked away. 

Lexa looked back at Harper. The girl had blonde hair the came down to her shoulders and light brown eyes. She was wearing skinny jeans with a tank top and a small leather jacket. She was pretty, really pretty…damn…she had to admit Anya did know her type. “So…would you like to go over by the bar and get a drink?”, Lexa said.

Harper smiled, “Yeah that would be great”.

Lexa led the way as they walked around the crowd on the dance floor and over to the bar. They grabbed a couple of barstools and Lexa waved to get the attention of the bartender. When she saw him walking their way she looked back at Harper, “What would you like?”.

“A Gimlet”, Harper quickly answered, which caught Lexa’s attention as she was a gin person herself.

When the bartender came over she ordered a Gin and Tonic and a Gimlet for Harper. 

Clarke needed a break from the dance floor and another drink. Finn had gone to the restroom when she had gotten back so she made her way over to the bar to order them each a drink. The bar was slightly crowded so she just stood at the end and waited for one of the bartenders to be free. While she waited she scanned the bar and saw Lexa was sitting down towards the other end. Lexa’s back was to her. As she looked at Lexa her mind went back to the moment on the dance floor and she felt embarrassed to be having such thoughts. She shook it off and started to walk towards her when she noticed Lexa was sitting next to a girl with blonde hair. Clarke watched them as she saw the blonde girl laughing at something Lexa had said and she reached over and placed her hand on Lexa’s forearm. Clarke stayed where she was at the end of the bar. She continued watching as Lexa and this other girl, who must have been Harper, the girl Anya had mentioned earlier, continued their conversation. She could see Lexa was smiling and paying attention to something the other girl was saying now. Clarke knew she shouldn’t be staring, but she found it hard to look away.  

“Hey….hey…did you want to order something?”.

Clarke was snapped out her stare by the bartender who she hadn’t noticed was now standing in front of her on the other side of the bar. “Umm…yeah, sorry. Can I get a Guinness and a Rum and Coke”.

The bartender nodded and went to get the drinks. Clarke looked back down the bar and saw that Lexa and the blonde were still engrossed in their conversation. When the bartender brought her the drinks she paid and took them back over to their table. She handed Finn his beer and sat down in the booth. As she sipped her drink she realized she wasn’t enjoying her night as much anymore. She had been looking forward to spending time with Lexa tonight and now Lexa was on a date and giving her attention to someone else. Clarke knew she had no right to be jealous, but she was. 

Clarke sat at the table nursing her drink as Finn had gone off with the guys. After a while she saw Octavia walking over towards her and she knew she wouldn’t be able to hide her change in mood from her friend.

Octavia sat down next to her, “I was looking for you, everyone is over at the pool tables…and…Clarke, what’s wrong?”.

Clarke rubbed her forehead, “It’s nothing O, I just have a headache and I’m getting tired. I think I’m going to go grab Finn and head home”. It was getting late, Clarke looked at her phone and it was after 11p. So she hoped that Octavia didn’t pry any further as to why her mood had changed and believed she was just tired.

Octavia rubbed her arm, “Sorry you aren't feeling good and it is getting late for you Grandma”.

Clark laughed, she loved how Octavia could always make her feel better even with a joke told at her own expense. 

Clarke stood up with Octavia and headed over to where Finn had gone to play pool with the other guys. When they got over there she saw Lexa was playing pool with them too. Clarke noticed the blonde girl was standing near Lexa. Clarke had started to walk over towards Finn when Lexa spoke up and came over by her.

“Clarke, I was wondering where you were”, Lexa said.

Clarke could tell that Lexa was slightly drunk. She wasn’t slurring her words, just a little more relaxed than she normally was. “This is Harper”, Lexa said as she introduced the blonde girl to her and Octavia.

They all exchanged introductions. In any other situation Clarke thought she would have enjoyed hanging out with cute “Drunk Lexa”, but tonight wasn't it…not with Lexa on a date. Clarke turned towards Finn, ‘Hey, can we go?”.

Finn shook his head and went to put his pool stick back up on the wall.

Clarke heard Lexa speak up, “Is everything ok?”.

Clarke noticed she sounded a little more together when she spoke and when Clarke looked at Lexa she could see the hint of a concerned look on her face. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just getting tired and I have a headache”.

“Well doctor knows best”, Lexa replied with a smile and Clarke smiled back.

Finn walked up and Clarke said her goodbyes to everyone before they made their way out of the club. 

When Clarke got home she showered and got into bed…alone. She laid in bed staring at the ceiling trying to sort out the emotions she had felt seeing Lexa with Harper. Seeing her smiling and laughing and having a good time on her date. Clark hated herself for being so jealous. Lexa had every right to date and be happy. Clarke laid there wondering if she was jealous because she hadn’t gotten to spend time with her friend or if there was more to it. Was she jealous because she wanted to be the blonde girl laughing at Lexa’s jokes, having Lexa smile back at her own, flirting with Lexa…caressing her arm. Clarke knew the answer, she just couldn't bring herself to admit it. Suddenly her mind was overwhelmed with all of these emotions and complications…these feelings for Lexa, their friendship she didn’t want to ruin…her relationship with Finn. She didn’t get much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's jealous, Clarke's jealous....these two I swear, lol. 
> 
> One again I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I take a lot of inspiration from songs and fan made Clexa videos. I'm going to try and keep a list of them and post them on my tumblr. 
> 
> Thanks so much for the comments and kudos. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is sick and it's Lexa's turn to get to take care of her.

The next day Lexa woke up and groaned as the sun coming in through her bedroom window felt like laser beams shooting into her eyes. She rolled away from the window and reached for her phone on her nightstand. When she looked at the time she was surprised to see it was almost noon. She hardly ever slept in this late, but she had stayed out later than normal last night and had a few more drinks than normal as well. She saw she had a few texts from Anya.

_Anya [10:00a]: How did things go last night with Harper?_

_Anya [10:30a]: No reply, hmmm. Maybe things went really well…_

_Anya [11:30a]: Earth to Lexa?_

Lexa got out of bed and headed straight to the kitchen. She needed coffee in her system before dealing with her sister. She started the coffee and put a bagel in the toaster. After a few sips of her coffee she decided she was alert enough to text Anya back.

_Lexa: Lexa to Ground Control…what?_

_Anya: Need details from Operation Blind Date._

_Lexa: It went alright._

_Anya: Are we alone?_

_Lexa: As in the universe?_

_Anya: I’m calling you…I’m not playing the texting game._

Lexa rolled her eyes as she saw Anya had wasted no time and was already calling her. Lexa swiped across the screen on her phone to answer, “You rang?”.

Lexa heard Anya laugh, “Lexa enough with the jokes. I really want to know how things went. You two seemed to be hitting it off before I left last night”.

Lexa answered in between bites of her bagel. “Yeah she seems cool. We have similar interests, obviously, with her working in the sports field.”

Anya cut in, “Sporty and pretty. I told you I know your type and her being a blonde was an added bonus”.

Lexa almost choked on the bite of her bagel, “Anya, don’t make me sound so shallow”.

“I didn’t mean it that way Lex and you know it. I just thought that maybe another blonde might peak your interest like how a certain other one has”.

Lexa’s reply came quick, “It isn’t the color of her hair that…”. Lexa realized she had said too much and Anya’s chuckle on the other end of the phone confirmed it.

“Lexa, it’s ok to admit you are attracted to Clarke. Hell, I think she’s attractive”, Anya said.

Lexa huffed out, “You know it’s easier if I don’t think about that too much. I could tell things were off between us last night and I don’t want that, I want her in my life even if it’s only as a friend”.

Anya decided she was done pushing her sister on the topic, “I get it. So any plans to see Harper again?”.

Lexa was glad Anya had backed off about Clarke, “Nothing official. She did tell me about this sporting event her company is sponsoring in a few weeks. It sounds like fun. She asked if we would participate. It’s benefitting this children’s hospital and she thought me being there might help bring some more attention to it. I told her I’d love to participate and to add Trikru to the sponsors list”.

“Sounds awesome! We can talk about it more later at work this week. I’ll end my line of questions, for now, enjoy the rest of your Sunday”.

Lexa gave her a sarcastic laugh, “Thanks Anya”. 

Lexa ended the call and thought about her date with Harper last night. She had enjoyed herself and could see maybe hanging out with Harper again, but she wasn’t sure if it was something she wanted to turn into more. She could see them being friends and she was a good connection to have for Trikru. Lexa thought she would wait and see how things went with Harper, after all there was no rush to make any decisions about it. 

The problem was that when Lexa thought back to the night before it was another blonde who popped into her mind. The image of Clarke dancing with Finn had engrained itself into her memory. It had engrained itself as a reminder. Clarke was not the blonde that Lexa had shared drinks with and who had laughed at her jokes. Lexa was afraid to admit that it was also a reminder of a wish…that it had been her. 

* * *

It was Wednesday and Lexa realized she hadn’t spoken to Clarke since seeing her at The Ark on Saturday night. She hated how she had let things start to feel weird between them when nothing had happened to cause it. She needed to get over being awkward about whatever feelings she may or may not have for Clarke. She missed her friend. So while she was sitting at her desk eating lunch she decided to text Clarke. 

_Lexa: Hey stranger, how’s things?_

She watched her phone and when she didn’t get a reply she assumed Clarke must have been busy at work. She finished her lunch and went about the rest of her workday. Lexa had periodically checked her phone throughout the day for a reply from Clarke, but one never came. She started to worry that maybe she had let her feelings show too much and that Clarke had noticed and was backing off. 

Later that evening Lexa pulled into the parking garage at her loft. She was getting off of her bike when she saw Lincoln had just pulled in as well so she waited and walked over to where he had parked. Lincoln greeted her as he got out of his car, “Hey Lexa, what’s up?”.

“Nothing much, just getting home from work”, Lexa said.

Lincoln smiled as he grabbed his things and they started walking together towards the building.

Lexa spoke as they waited for the elevator, “So how are things with you and Octavia? You guys seem to be getting pretty serious?”.

Lincoln smiled, “Yeah things are good between us, really good”.

Lexa was happy for them, “That’s great Linc, do you guys have any plans this weekend?”, Lexa asked just making small talk.

“No, she’s actually out of town visiting her brother this week and won’t be back until Sunday. She feels bad that she’s not in town to help Clarke”.

Lexa’s head whipped up, “What’s up with Clarke?”.

“Oh, sorry I figured you knew. Clarke caught this nasty sinus cold, she’s been out from work for a couple days now. Both Finn and her Mom are out of town so she’s on her own. Clarke told Octavia she was fine and gave her some speech about how she’s a doctor and can take care of herself. I’ve been checking in with her though, Octavia’s orders”. 

The elevator stopped at Lincoln’s floor and he started to step out before looking back at Lexa. “I texted her this morning and she was about to take some medicine and take a nap. You should reach out to her and see if she needs anything, I’ve probably hounded her enough”.

“Yeah I definitely will, thanks for letting me know”, Lexa replied and waved bye to Lincoln as the elevator doors closed. 

Lexa pulled out her cell phone when she got into her loft. Still no message from Clarke. She thought about texting her again, but decided to call instead. The phone rang several times before she heard Clarke answer. Clarke answered with a hoarse sounding voice, “Hello”.

Lexa thought she sounded sleepy, “Umm hey it’s Lexa. I didn’t wake you up did I?”.

Lexa could hear Clarke cough before she replied, “Well sort of, but it’s ok I needed to get up. I’ve been napping on and off all day. The cold medicine I’m on is some pretty heavy stuff”.

Lexa was relieved this was why she hadn’t texted her back, but also sad that it was because she was sick. “Ok, well I just got home from work and saw Lincoln. He told me that you were sick. I just wanted to call and see if you needed anything”.

Clarke gave out of a chuckle when she replied, “Yeah Octavia has had him checking in on me non-stop. I told her I was fine, but she insisted on routine check-ins to make sure I’m still breathing”.

Lexa smiled into her phone, “She’s just looking out for you. So umm, do you need anything? More cold medicine? Groceries?”.

“Lexa it’s nice of you to offer, but really I’m fine. I have some cans of soup and…”.

Lexa cut her off, “Canned soup…ok no, that’s not going to do. I’m coming over and making sure you get some real food”. Lexa realized that had come out a little forward and hoped she hadn’t been too aggressive.

She felt at ease when she heard Clarke give out a raspy laugh, “Something makes me think you aren’t going to take no for an answer”.

Lexa smiled, “Not a chance. Now text me your address and I’ll be over soon”. Lexa ended her call with Clarke and started changing out of her work clothes and into a t-shirt and jeans. She heard her phone go off and saw a text from Clarke with her address. Lexa grabbed her keys and headed out the door. 

* * *

Clarke was sure she looked like a mess, she had practically lived in her bed for the past two days. So after she texted Lexa her address she had gotten up and taken a shower. She got out of the shower and put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt not caring if she looked a little sloppy…she was sick after all. She looked around and decided she better clean up her apartment some. After she picked up all of the tissues she had just been throwing wherever and put some dishes in the dishwasher she collapsed onto her couch _…mess be damned_ she thought. As she laid on the couch she thought about how nice it was for Lexa to have reached out and offered to make her dinner. She was looking forward to seeing her, despite the condition she was in. She had missed hanging out with Lexa. She hoped that she could get over this little crush she had on her so that things weren’t weird between them. She was with Finn and it looked like Lexa had hit it off with Harper the other night so that was that. 

* * *

Lexa had gone to the grocery store and picked up the stuff to make chicken soup. She had also picked up some more stuff that she thought Clarke might need. She arrived at Clarke’s apartment and grabbed the groceries out of her jeep. Lexa was thinking things over as she walked into Clarke’s building. She hated that Clarke wasn’t feeling well, but she was looking forward to seeing her…she was looking forward to taking care of her friend.

Lexa knocked on the door to Clarke’s apartment and shortly after Clarke opened the door. Clarke had her hair up in a messy bun and was wearing sweats and a t-shirt that said “trust me, i’m a doctor” _…cute,_ Lexa thought. Lexa smiled, “Hey…look at that, you’re still alive”.

Clarke smiled back and stepped aside as she opened the door for Lexa to walk inside the apartment, “You’re too late, Octavia just texted me asking for confirmation of the same thing”. Clarke led the way to her kitchen and Lexa followed and sat the bags of groceries down on the counter.

Lexa could see Clarke eyeing the bags before she spoke up, “Just how much soup are you making?”.

Lexa smiled, “Well I took the liberty of picking up a few more things that I thought you might need. I hope you don’t mind”.

“No it’s ok, you really didn’t have to…but thanks”, was Clarke’s reply.

“It’s just a few things really…orange juice for Vitamin C, some gatorade for help with dehydration and I picked up a few types of tea’s. I got some chamomile, this peppermint herbal tea and one of my favorites lady grey”. Clarke looked to be at a loss for words and slightly impressed which made Lexa smile. Before Clarke could say anything Lexa spoke up, “Ok, you go sit down and I’ll get started”. 

With Lexa kicking her out of her own kitchen Clarke went and sat on the couch in her living room and turned on the Tv. She really just wanted to catch up with Lexa so she just put on some rerun of Supernatural and turned the volume down so they could talk. She felt this sense of comfort she didn’t even realize she needed come over her as she settled in on the couch. She had been worried things might be a little weird between them since they hadn’t spoke to each other as much lately. Nothing was weird…as she sat there looking at Lexa it felt almost like a routine they had done many times before.

Clarke watched as Lexa moved around her kitchen like it was her own. She saw her grab a pot and place it on the stove before starting to chop up an assortment of vegetables. “So Top Chef, how’d you learn how to cook?”, Clarke asked with a grin.

Lexa kept working as she talked, “I’m no professional, but I can get by. Anya and I were kind of on our own when we were teenagers in our foster home so we usually had to fend for ourselves. I had this home economics class in high school and I found out I was pretty good at it so I started cooking most of our meals”.

Clarke’s heart broke a little at hearing how Lexa’s teenage years had been kind of hard from the sound of it. Clarke looked over and saw Lexa had stopped what she was doing and was looking in her direction. “Clarke, it wasn’t that bad really. Our foster parents at that time were good people, they just worked a lot so we were on our own some of the time”. That made Clarke feel better, but she still couldn’t imagine growing up without either of her parents. It had been bad enough loosing her Dad. 

Lexa finished putting everything together for the soup and left it to cook for a bit longer. She grabbed a glass of water for herself and some orange juice for Clarke and walked out to the living room where Clark was sitting. Lexa handed her the glass of orange juice and finally got a chance to look around the apartment. It was an open concept with the kitchen opening up to the living room so you could see from one end to the other. She saw the entrance to a hallway off to one side that she figured must go to Clarke’s bedroom. There was an office area in one corner that she could see Clarke was using as a sort of art studio. Lexa remembered Clarke had said she liked to do sketches and some painting in her spare time.

“Do you mind?” Lexa asked Clarke as she pointed over to where she saw her artwork.

Clarke nodded as she stood up and sat her glass down on the coffee table, “Yeah sure, but remember it’s just a hobby. I’m no Van Gogh”.

Lexa smiled and walked over to the office area. She noticed there were several sketches hanging on the wall of different things, one was a garden scene and another the LA skyline. There was also this one painting of the sky at twilight. “Clarke…these are really great. Like…damn”.

Clarke stood back watching Lexa, she was sort of in awe at her reaction. All Clarke could say as a reply was a quiet “Thanks”.

Lexa continued to look around. She saw a sketchbook open on the desk and recognized Octavia on the page it was opened too. “So you sketch portraits too?”, Lexa said.

Clarke walked over and picked up the sketchbook and handed it to Lexa. “Yeah, sometimes. Octavia is always telling me I should turn it into a business, but I don’t know”.

Lexa looked up at her from going through the sketchbook, “Clarke you seriously could, I mean these are amazing. I’d pay you to sketch me”.

Clarke felt a little rush of excitement by Lexa’s comment. The truth was she really wanted to sketch Lexa. With her cheekbones and jawline, not to mention her fit body…Lexa was a perfect model. “Umm, yeah sure I could do that one day if you wanted me to…but you wouldn’t have to pay me or anything”. It then occurred to Clarke that maybe Lexa had just meant that a nice gesture to get her point across.

Luckily Lexa just smiled and said, “Yeah that would be cool”.

Lexa handed her the sketchbook and Clarke placed it back on the desk.

Clarke turned back around and had a coughing attack hit her all of a sudden, “Ugh, this damn cold”.

Lexa pointed back at the couch, “Let me go check on the soup, it should just about be ready. You go sit back down and rest”. Lexa watched as Clarke did as she was told and Lexa went to check on their dinner. 

* * *

“Lexa this soup is amazing, it’s like one of the best things I’ve ever had”, Clarke said as she was enjoying the homemade chicken soup Lexa had made.

“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment coming from the self-proclaimed queen of takeout”, Lexa replied with a short laugh. She was sitting on the couch next to Clarke enjoying her own bowl of soup.

Clarke reached her foot over and nudged Lexa’s leg, “Hey, I can still have high standards”. 

The two of them sat there enjoying their dinner and not saying much, but like always it was a comfortable silence. Clarke looked over at Lexa and then back down at her bowl. She felt this sudden feeling of both joy and sadness. Like that feeling you get on the last day of a vacation where you are so happy to be where you are, but you can’t stop reality from seeping in as a reminder that it’s almost over. It felt like a stolen moment in time that they were having that was bound to end. It felt right, being there with Lexa. The thought made her feel happy, but also scared of what it really meant. She wondered if Lexa felt it too. 

After several minutes Clarke spoke up, “So the other night was fun at The Ark, it was nice to meet Raven”.

Lexa looked over at Clarke, “Yeah I had good time and Raven liked getting to meet you guys too”.

Clarke was unsure if she should ask what was really on her mind about the other night, she decided to say it anyway, “So then your date…it, umm…went well?”.

Lexa stiffened slightly, she hadn’t expected Clarke to bring that up and it had thrown her off a little. “Oh with Harper, yeah it umm…she’s nice and well we have some things in common. I guess I’m just going to see how things go”.

Clarke felt a little bit of awkwardness settle in between them and she regretted bringing it up. “Oh, good…well I guess that’s how dating goes”, _what are you saying…you sound like a fucking idiot_ , Clarke thought.

Lexa nodded, “Yeah it’s been awhile since I’ve really dated. I went through a bad breakup a couple of years ago and it sort of put me off from relationships”.

Clarke could tell from Lexa’s body language that this breakup was a sore topic so she didn’t pry, but she was curious what had happened. It made Clarke mad to think that someone had treated Lexa badly. 

They both finished their soup and Lexa took the dishes into the kitchen. She started to clean up when she heard Clark yawn something from the living room, “You don’t have to do all of that, making dinner was enough”.

Lexa stopped when she saw the water she had put on for making some tea had started to boil and she got everything together to make Clarke a cup. She decided to go with the herbal one since it was late and she knew Clarke’s cold medicine was probably starting to kick in. Lexa walked the cup of tea over to the couch. Clarke was slightly curled up in one of the corners of the couch and she sat up when she saw Lexa bringing her the tea.

“Lexa, now tea…you are really doing too much”.

Lexa just handed her the cup and said, “Drink up, it will help you relax and the peppermint should help with your breathing through the night”.

Clarke took a few sips of the tea and could feel it soothing her sore throat which caused a small moan to escape her lips. She looked over at Lexa feeling slightly embarrassed, but Lexa just smiled and said “See, I told you it would help”.

Clarke could feel her mind getting cloudy from the cold medicine, but she fought against it not ready to call it a night. “Lexa…thanks for coming over. I really appreciate it, I feel a lot better”.

Lexa smiled, “Well I couldn’t just stand by and watch you die”. Lexa earned a smile from Clarke and a soft laugh for her joke. 

Lexa looked over at Clarke after she had finished her tea and could tell she was forcing herself to stay awake. “Clarke, you need to go lay down. It’s getting late and you need the rest”.

Clarke was tired. Her medicine mixed with the soup and the tea had her barely able to stay awake. She looked over at Lexa as she yawned, “Yeah I think you’re right. I’m surprised I haven’t passed out already”. Clarke stood up, “Thanks for coming over, I owe you”. Clarke walked over and gave Lexa a hug.

Lexa was caught off guard for a second, but she quickly relaxed and hugged Clarke back. Clarke felt her body relaxing into the feeling of holding Lexa and just as she was realizing the hug had maybe lasted a little too long…Lexa pulled back. Lexa looked down at her with an endearing look in her eyes, “What are friends for”.

Clarke smiled back almost speechless, “Well I’m off to bed”.

Lexa looked over at the kitchen, “I’m going to clean up some before I leave. I can’t leave your kitchen a mess. You go lay down though”.

Clarke was too tired to argue as she yawned her reply, “If you insist”.

Lexa watched Clarke walk down the hallway as she went back over to the kitchen and started cleaning up.  

* * *

Clarke woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat. She looked over and all of the water was gone in the glass she had kept on her nightstand. She got out of bed and went to refill her glass. When she walked out into the living room she let out a small gasp as she was shocked to see Lexa asleep on her couch. The cold medicine she was on had knocked her out as soon as she had laid down, she had just assumed Lexa had left after she finished cleaning up. She didn’t mind that Lexa had stayed the night though and she smiled as she looked at her. Lexa was the type of person who always kept this certain look on her face, like she was always gauging her surroundings or afraid to let her guard down completely. Clarke found it to be cute, but not as cute as the relaxed sleeping Lexa she was looking at now. She didn’t want to keep staring at her like some creep, but she could’t help it. She always felt like she was having to steal glances at Lexa so to be able to look at her now this way even for just a moment felt nice. 

Clarke quietly went and filled her glass with water. She then went and grabbed a blanket and carefully placed it over Lexa so she didn’t wake her up. She thought back to the night she fell asleep at Lexa’s and how she had done the same for her and she was glad to be repaying the gesture…it felt rewarding. Clarke went back to bed and as she laid there drifting off back to sleep she thought about how lucky she was to have Lexa in her life…even it was only as a friend.  

* * *

The next morning Lexa woke up to the sound of a knock at the front door. She sat up and looked around remembering she was at Clarke’s. She checked her phone and saw it was a little after 7am and wondered who it could be at Clarke’s door this early. She got up and since she figured Clarke was still sleeping she went over and looked through the peep hole on the door. She saw a middle aged woman with light brown hair standing outside. Lexa opened the door and greeted the woman, “Hi, I’m a friend of Clarke’s, can I help you?”.

The woman replied, “Hi, friend of Clarke’s, I’m her mother”.

Lexa felt a little embarrassed as she stepped aside so the woman could walk into the apartment. “I’m so sorry I…uh…I didn’t know. Umm…I’m Lexa, Lexa Woods”.

The woman smirked as she replied, “So you are Lexa. I’ve heard Clarke mention your name”.

Lexa was a little surprised she knew who she was, but glad she was not a complete stranger to the woman.

“Abby Griffin”, Clarke’s mom said as she reached her hand out to Lexa’s.

She recalled Clarke’s mother was a surgeon before she took her hand and gave it a small shake, “It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Griffin”. 

“So why are you here and where is my daughter?”, Abby asked sternly, but also with a hint of a smile on her face.

Lexa couldn’t tell if the smile was friendly or not and she was suddenly very nervous. “Well Dr. Griffin, I heard she was sick and came over last night to see how she was doing. I’m guessing Clarke is still asleep. I just woke up myself when I heard you knock”. Lexa could see Abby was studying her as she spoke and she suddenly felt like a teenager who had been caught doing something they shouldn’t have been.

“I see”, was all Abby said as Lexa saw her looking around the apartment.

“I slept on the couch”, Lexa wasn’t sure why she had blurted that out, but she had feeling a need to further explain the situation. “I was cleaning up after we ate and Clarke had gone to lay down. When I finished it was late and she had fallen asleep. I didn’t want to wake her to have her lock up behind me so I just slept here instead”. Lexa felt like Abby was trying to read her and it made her wonder if she believed what she had said. 

After she had finished cleaning up last night she went to check on Clarke and she had fallen fast asleep. She had looked so peaceful that Lexa hadn’t wanted to wake her up. Since she didn’t have a way to lock the door behind her she had decided to stay the night. It had all made sense in her head last night, but now that she was saying it out loud it did sound like something you’d see happen on a bad sitcom. Lexa thought, _what’s next, is Finn going to come walking through the damn door ready to propose._

After a few more awkward seconds Abby replied, “It was very nice of you to come over and check on Clarke. She spoke well of you and I can see why”.

Lexa smiled shyly, “That’s very nice of you to say. We have become good friends and besides I couldn’t have her eating canned soup”.

Abby laughed lightly, “Clarke has many talents, but cooking is not one of them. Neither is taking care of herself when she’s sick. Thanks for watching out for her, I appreciate it”.

Lexa smiled, “It was no trouble at all. Well it appears she's in very good hands now so I’ll be heading home. I need to get ready for work. It was nice to meet you Dr. Griffin”.

Clarke’s mom smiled and this time Lexa thought it looked genuine, “Please call me Abby. And if you don’t mind me asking, what do you do for a living?”

Lexa was a little surprised she had asked, but didn't mind, “Oh I don’t mind at all, I’m a…well I guess the best way to describe it is to say I’m a business owner. My sister and I run the company. It’s a social media site called Trikru that deals with hiking, outdoor sports and fitness”.

Abby seemed to be thinking over what Lexa had said, “Hmm sounds interesting.”

Lexa wasn’t sure how to gauge that reaction, “It is, I’m lucky I get to do something I love so it doesn’t seem like work all of the time. Well I better be going, again it was nice to meet you”.

Abby nodded, “Of course, it was nice to meet you as well. Thanks again for taking care of Clarke. She doesn’t make for the easiest patient. I know she appreciated your help despite how many times she might have said she didn’t need it”.

Lexa smiled, “I was glad to help”. Lexa slipped on her shoes and grabbed her keys before saying a final goodbye to Abby and heading out of the apartment. She was glad that Clarke’s mom had loosened up some towards her. Though she couldn’t help feeling like she had just been put through some sort of test…she wondered if she had passed or failed. 

* * *

Clarke woke up the next morning and noticed she felt much better. She couldn’t help thinking about how she owed some of that to Lexa. She was sure the tea had helped her sleep more soundly through the night. She was going to have to think of some way to thank her. Clarke got out of bed and headed to the restroom to freshen up. When she walked out into her living room she was stunned to find not Lexa, but her mother sitting on her couch looking through a magazine. “Shit!”. Clarke exclaimed. “When did you…um…where is….what are you doing here?”.

Abby sat the magazine down, “It’s nice to see you too Clarke”. 

“I’m sorry mom, it’s just that I didn’t expect you”.

Abby smiled, “Yes, I know honey. I’m only teasing you. I got here a couple of hours ago, I left my conference early and came home to check in on you…once I heard, not from you of course, that you out from work sick. Lexa let me in, she left shortly afterwards”.

Clarke’s first thought was that she was going to kill Octavia since she was sure she was the one to thank for contacting her mother. She was also slightly mortified that Lexa had met her mother all on her own after her mom had found her in Clarke’s apartment. _WTF,_ Clarke thought, _Lexa and I have the worst luck with these situations_. Clarke walked over and sat on the couch next to her mom, “Oh yeah, I guess she fell asleep here last night. She came over and…”.

Abby cut her daughter off, “She told me about coming over to check on you. She said you fell asleep and she didn't want to leave your apartment without being able to lock up so she stayed. Lexa seems really nice and a good friend…and I can tell she cares about you”. 

Clarke looked over at her mother, she knew where she was going with this. Her mom had never been a fan of Finn’s. They have had many conversations about how Clarke could do better and how Finn never seemed to make any time for their relationship. While Clarke knew her mother was only looking out for the best for her she also knew that her mother’s standards were really high. No one could ever meet them, but then here she was almost praising Lexa. Clarke thought for a moment, _this was new_. 

“Mom, Lexa and I are just friends. I don’t want to have another Finn conversation, especially not in my sick and weakened condition”.

Abby laughed, “You are not that sick and it sounds like you have Lexa to partially thank for that. I saw the soup, that looks homemade, in the refrigerator as well as the gatorade and the selection of teas. I know you didn’t make or buy any of that so I have to assume I owe Lexa for looking after you. Besides, I didn’t walk in here and find Finn taking care of you…not like I’d ever expect that from him”.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Mom, he’s out of town on work. If he had been here he would have come over”.

Abby only huffed and got up to go make Clarke some breakfast and some tea. Abby was done talking about this for now, but something told her that Lexa was more than just a friend. 

Clarke turned on her Tv while her mom was in the kitchen and she was glad she had finally backed off. Clarke knew her relationship with Finn was something she really needed to analyze and think on, but now was not the time and not with her mother’s influence. 

Clarke looked across the couch and saw the pillow and the blanket Lexa had slept with last night. She grabbed them and snuggled up on the couch under the blanket. As she laid her head down on the pillow she noticed it smelled like Lexa, _coconut_ , and she closed her eyes enjoying that feeling of comfort again. 

 _Fuck_ , she thought, she definitely had some things she needed to think about.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feels starting to come out in this one. I've had this chapter in my head since the beginning and finally finished it last night. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> And now for a shameless plug. Follow we on tumblr if that's your thing at http://spoilerzzz.tumblr.com/. I'm planning to use my blog to post anything that inspires my writing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa's friendship grows. They all attend the charity event. Major feelings happen.
> 
> Sorry I suck as these summaries. I'm trying to get better at them.

Something had changed. 

It had been a little over a week since Lexa had gone over to Clarke’s when she had been sick and since then Lexa had noticed a change between them. Clarke and her had been texting everyday and had met up for lunch a couple of times. It was a good change Lexa thought as she looked over at Clarke who was talking to Octavia as the three of them were enjoying a Sunday morning hike. They were talking about something work related that Lexa wasn't really following along with, she was just enjoying being with her friends. She had started to realize that her breakup with Costia had not only effected her dating life, but she had also become guarded against any type of connection with new people. While she still wasn’t sure how she felt about relationships she did know that she was glad to have formed these new friendships. 

After they finished their hike Octavia left to go meet up with Lincoln while Lexa and Clarke went to go grab a late breakfast. They met up at the local diner they had both come to enjoy visiting. 

Clarke ordered her usual, waffles with whipped cream, and Lexa noted that this time she had also added strawberries. Lexa ordered a veggie omelet and she didn’t miss the smirk and eye roll Clarke made when she did. They both ordered coffee. Clarke winced as Lexa drank hers practically black only adding two packs of sugar. Clarke preferred the Beastie Boys method… _she liked her sugar with coffee and cream_. 

Clarke found herself watching Lexa more lately, noticing her little quirks and habits. Like right now she was noticing how Lexa closed her eyes as she took the first sip of her coffee. How she kept her eyes closed for a couple extra seconds after taking the sip enjoying the moment, she looked blissful…she looked beautiful. Clarke made sure to look away before Lexa opened her eyes pretending to be looking at something outside the window. 

Lexa spoke up pulling Clarke’s attention back to her, “So your mom seems nice”. Clarke huffed out a short laugh and realized they hadn’t really talked about Lexa meeting her mom. She had texted Lexa apologizing, but that was it. Lexa had assured it was fine and joked about them being even after Anya had found Clarke alone at her place. “Seems being the keyword there”, Clarke said back sensing some amount of sarcasm in Lexa’s voice. Lexa smiled as she took another sip of her coffee, “No, really she was nice. A little inquisitive, but I can’t blame her after finding some near complete stranger in her daughter’s apartment. I was glad she at least knew who I was after I introduced myself”. 

Clarke was suddenly very nervous, she was quickly racking her brain trying to recall everything she had said to her mother about Lexa before they met. She couldn’t recall saying anything other than mentioning Lexa being a new friend so she relaxed some. “So what type of inquisition did she put you through?”, Clarke asked curiously. “Nothing crazy, she asked what I did for a living after I mentioned needing to head home to get ready for work”. Lexa smirked, “I tried to explain what I do, but she either didn’t understand it or didn’t approve. She’s hard to read”. Clarke nodded her agreement, “My mom has a good poker face. She means well though. It’s just….she’s very protective, but also supportive. She has crazy high standards for anyone I date and for my close friends. I think it comes from her being a single parent for most of my life, she feels like she has to play both roles”. 

Lexa nodded, “I can relate to that. Anya is the same for me”. Clarke remembered Anya’s words from that morning at Lexa’s apartment, _don’t play games with her,_ and for some reason it made her sad to think about it. “Sometimes it’s nice to know you have someone looking out for you”, was all Clarke could think to say. They both agreed and got quiet for a few minutes as they continued their breakfast. 

Lexa’s cell phone started going off and she excused herself to answer it. As Clarke sat there she started thinking of something to do for the rest of the day and maybe something she could invite Lexa to do with her. 

When Lexa came back to the table several minutes later Clarke decided to see if Lexa wanted to hangout for the day. “So I was thinking about hitting the mall this afternoon to do some shopping if you wanted to come…that is, if you don’t have anything else going on”. Clarke saw Lexa look down at her phone and then back up at her, “Sorry Clarke, but I can’t. I would love to go, but I just made plans”. Clarke hoped she was able to hide the disappoint she felt from her face, “No worries, I know it was all last minute for me to bring it up. So do you have plans with Anya and Raven?”. Clarke saw this look of hesitation come across Lexa’s face and she thought maybe she shouldn’t have pried into what her plans were. Lexa spoke up before she could take back having asked, “Umm…no, actually that was Harper who just called me. She wanted to see if I was free to go on a….to go see a movie”. Clarke’s inner monologue chanted… _smile, be happy for her, she is your friend._

Lexa noticed a change in Clarke, it was slight, but it was definitely there. She had that look you get when someone is telling you something and you are thinking about something else, but you keep looking like you are listening. Lexa took it as her maybe trying to rework her plans for the day now that Lexa couldn’t go shopping, although she didn’t see why that should stop her from going.

“Ah, ok…well we can go another time”, Clarke said with a smile. The waitress came over to the table with the checks, interrupting their conversation, and they each paid before walking out to their cars. 

“I had fun today”, Lexa said as she grabbed her helmet off the back of her bike. “Yeah me too”, Clarke said quickly, her monologue chant still going, “Enjoy the movie and promise to eat some kind of junk food”. Lexa laughed, “Thanks and don’t let the veggie omelet fool you…I have a major weakness for chocolate”. Clarke made a mental note of that. “Text me and we can try to meet up for lunch sometime next week”, Lexa said as she got on her bike. “Will do…drive safe Lexa”, Clarke replied and waved to her friend as she started to drive off. Clarke got into her car and headed home. She pulled out her phone and called Finn…with no more plans to go to the mall. 

* * *

Lexa pulled into the parking lot at the movie theater later that evening. She thought back to when she had told Clarke she had plans. She had started to call this a date, but she had stopped herself. She wasn’t sure what this was with Harper and for some reason it mattered to her what Clarke thought it was too. Harper and her hadn’t really talked much other than at work just going over some plans for the charity sporting event that was coming up next weekend. So when Harper had called her and asked about going to see a movie she wasn’t really sure what to think it was…but she should have known better.

There were three things that happened that confirmed to Lexa that it most definitely was a date. The first was when she saw how Harper had dressed. She had worn a short skirt and a loose low-cut blouse. As Lexa had walked up to her at the entrance to the theater she thought that her skinny jeans and tank top might have been a little too causal. _It’s just a movie_ , Lexa said to herself. They had decided on seeing Allegiant, they had both talked about having read the book one day at work and that neither of them had seen the film yet. The second thing happened at a suspenseful part in the movie between Tris and Four when Harper placed her hand on top of hers. Lexa had went to move her hand and instead of Harper moving her hand back she twined their fingers together. Lexa looked over at her, but Harper stayed looking forward at the screen. Lexa wasn’t sure what to think. She felt herself almost panicking thinking she had given some mixed signals to Harper, that she had led her on in some way to think there was something between them already. It just didn’t feel right to her. 

The third thing came after the movie was over and she had walked Harper to her car. As they stood there discussing the movie and some of the differences from the book there came a quiet moment and Lexa knew. She knew that Harper was going to kiss her. She was looking over at Harper and saw her start to move closer. She felt her hand grab her forearm pulling them together. All Lexa felt was the want to back away, but she couldn’t. Harper kissed her gently on the lips and Lexa froze for a second before ever so slightly kissing her back. It was out of nothing more than an instinct to react, to not embarrass herself and to not hurt Harper’s feelings. The kiss was short and ended almost as soon as it started. They looked at each other and as Harper smiled she spoke first, “I had really good time”. Lexa was at a loss for what to say, panic was racing through her body. She managed to smile and offer up a simple, “I’m glad”, as Harper then turned to get into her car. She waved to Lexa as she drove off and Lexa waved back…unsure as to what message her stunned state must be sending. 

As Lexa drove home she thought about everything from that day. She thought about how much she had enjoyed eating breakfast with Clarke. How much she had wanted to go to the mall with Clarke, despite how much she hates shopping. She thought about Harper kissing her and how it had felt wrong and she knew. She knew why. She wished it could be Clarke…but it can’t. She wished she could like Harper in that same way. It would be so easy and it would put an end to this wish for something that can’t happen. It would allow her to move on. Most importantly it would protect the friendship she has with Clarke that she never wants to harm or complicate. 

_Time_ she thought, she just needed time and to take things slow with Harper and maybe it could be the more she needs to replace what she can’t have. 

As she walked inside her apartment Lexa pulled out her cell phone and sent one text. It wasn’t a text to Harper telling her she had also had a good time. It wasn’t a text to Anya or Raven giving them any details from her day. It was a text to Clarke. It was a picture of the box of milk duds she had eaten during the movie. 

* * *

There were a lot of things that Clarke thought she could be doing on a Saturday off from work. Spending it out in the hot summer sun with a bunch of sweaty people running around doing all kinds of extreme sport things was not one of them. However, there was one reason she wouldn’t miss it and that was getting to finally see Lexa in her element. Lexa had invited all of them to the charity sporting event that her company Trikru was helping to sponsor. It was benefiting a children’s hospital so it was really a win, win in her book. She was supporting her friend and a great cause so she put any complaints she might have otherwise had about it out of her mind. There was going to be a Tough Mudder style race that Lexa, Finn and Lincoln had entered and she would be happy to cheer them on from the sidelines. There was really only one thing about the day that kept nagging at her and that was Harper. Lexa had mentioned that it was the company that Harper worked for that was putting on the event so she knew she’d be there. She knew she needed to get used to seeing Lexa and Harper together since she figured they were dating now, but when she thought about that she felt uneasy. She felt things she couldn’t explain or maybe didn’t want to think about, but she was starting to wonder if maybe she needed to.

Lexa arrived at the park where the event was being held at early in the morning. They had decided on doing a booth for Lexa to sit at and sign Trikru shirts for fans. Anya was there with a small army of people from their office who had been enlisted to work the event, but Lexa still wanted to help as much as she could. The plan was for her to do the meet and greet with the fans in the morning so she could participate in the Tough Mudder style run afterwards, which was the main event for the day. She knew that Lincoln had signed up for the run and Clarke had mentioned Finn would be in it too. Lexa hadn’t been thrilled when she had heard the elusive Finn was going to be there, but she pushed those feelings aside. She was excited to be supporting this event and getting the opportunity to do a mud run as a part of it was an added bonus. A typical Tough Mudder race was 10 -12 miles long with over 20 obstacles. Lexa had ran a couple of them before and they were beasts to complete. The one they were doing for this event was on a smaller scale only being 5 miles long, but was still going to be a challenge with a dozen obstacles to get through along the way. Lexa got back to helping set up tables, excited for the rest of the day.

Clarke arrived at the event with Finn, Octavia and Lincoln. Lexa had gotten them VIP passes so as soon as they arrived one of the event people walked them over to a tent setup by the Trikru booth. Anya and Raven greeted them as they walked into the tent. Clarke was looking around for Lexa when Anya motioned over to a small stage and spoke up, “Our girl is in her element, she’s over there at the booth doing a fan meet and greet right now”. Raven smirked,  “She’s our little celebrity, no matter what she says she’s enjoying this”. They all exchanged some laughs and everyone started mingling around inside the tent. 

Clarke walked over towards the booth so she could get a better look at what Lexa was doing. When she looked out in front she was shocked to see the size of the large crowd waiting in line to meet her. Clarke knew Lexa had a big following, but getting to see it in person like this really put it into perspective. She had called Lexa out on downplaying how popular she was and this confirmed she had been right. Clarke smiled as she watched Lexa interacting with her fans. She was posing for pictures with them and signing shirts with a big grin plastered on her face the whole time. Clarke couldn’t hold back her own smile at the sight. 

She felt someone walk up beside her and looked over to see Anya, she wondered for a moment how long Anya had been watching her. “We’ve had quite a turn out. It’s fun to watch isn’t it?” Anya asked. Clarke looked back over to Lexa, “Yeah it is, it’s a different side of her. She’s just so normal and down to Earth, you’d never know…I mean she’s got this whole fandom”. Anya laughed, “Believe me, it took us some getting used to and it still surprises me. Everything happened so fast. I think she forgets, but it’s moments like this that remind her of how far she’s come”. Clarke looked over at Anya and could see the emotion in her face, “Lexa told me a little bit about how you guys grew up. You’re parents would be proud of both of you”. Anya smiled, “Thank you Clarke. I feel like I owe you an apology for the other day at Lexa’s. It was wrong of me to jump to those conclusions. I can see now that you have become good friends. I just can’t help keeping my guard up when it comes to her. We’ve been through a lot…she’s been through a lot”. Clarke put up her hand to stop her, “Anya, there’s no need to apologize, I completely understand. You were just watching out for her”. Anya nodded and they both looked back up at Lexa. Clarke saw that she had just finished taking a picture with two fans and had looked over towards them. Lexa waved at them and smiled. It was a smile Clarke thought she could never get tired of seeing. Clarke waved back and saw Lexa turn her attention back to the next fan in line. “Well I need to go check and make sure things are still flowing smoothly and on time. I’ll catch up with you later”, Anya said and started to walk off. Clarke spoke up to stop her, “Anya…thanks”. They smiled at each other before Anya turned and made her way over to Lexa.

Lexa finished up with the last of the fans who were in line and walked over into their tent. She saw everyone was standing together and figured it was about time to get ready for the mud run. Lexa greeted her friends and was given an exaggerated greeting of her own from Raven who bowed in front of her, “Come to mingle with us commoners I see?”. Lexa laughed, “Very funny. So is it about time to start the race?”. Anya spoke up, “Yeah Harper should be on her way over now. She said they setup a trailer for you to use to get changed”. That of course caused even more of a reaction from Raven, but Lexa just rolled her eyes and ignored her. She looked over and saw Lincoln and Finn were already dressed for the race. “So are guys going to watch from the sidelines?” Lexa asked as she looked at Clarke and Octavia. “We’ll be the loudest groupies, cheering at a safe distance from the mud”, Octavia replied. “I would expect nothing less. I’ll be watching for you guys”, Lexa said and looked at Clarke who smiled back at her. After a few minutes Harper came over ready to take Lexa to the trailer so she could change. Lexa told Lincoln and Finn to go ahead and that she’d catch up with them at the starting line. As she started to walk away she heard Clarke speak up, “Good luck”. Lexa smiled as she thanked Clarke and turned to walk with Harper. 

Clarke had wished Finn luck with the race and Octavia had done the same for Lincoln before they had left to go get lined up. They waited for Anya and once she came back over to join them they started making their way over to the starting area as well. Clarke looked out at the crowd of runners gathered as her and Octavia tried to find Lexa and the guys. “There they are”, Octavia said as she pointed to the left side of the crowd gathered at the starting line. Clarke looked in that direction and saw Lincoln first and then Finn. She noticed that they, as well as some of the other runners, had put warpaint on their faces. Both her and Octavia waved to get their attention. When Lincoln finally saw them them he motioned behind him and moved to the side. When he did Clarke watched as Lexa came into view and she felt her breath leave her body. Lexa was wearing a black sports bra and a pair black compression shorts and her hair had been braided and tied back into a ponytail. The outfit didn’t leave much to the imagination. Her bare midriff showed off her abs and the shorts showed off her toned thighs. Clarke also noticed her tattoos. Clarke had seen the tribal one on her arm before, but she saw Lexa also had one that went down her back that looked like some sort of celestial design. She looked amazing and as if the outfit were not enough, the warpaint on her face took it over the top. She had a layer of black paint that went across her eyes like a mask and then she had a few streaks of it running down each of her cheeks. She had a look that commanded attention. 

Lexa and the guys waved back at them and Clarke felt Octavia elbow her in the side before whispering in her ear, “And who are we undressing with our eyes?”. Clarke shook her head and elbowed Octavia back, “I don’t know what you are talking about”. Octavia winked back at her, “Yeah right”. Clarke was about to say something else when someone started yelling through a bullhorn announcing that the race was about to start. A minute later an air horn signaled the start and off the crowd of runners went. Clarke scanned the crowd looking for Lexa, but lost her in the rush of people. 

After the last of the runners made their way off from the starting point Harper came over to join them. She had told them she had a golf cart they could all ride in to follow along with the race so they could watch them do some of the obstacles. Raven told them she was going to stay back and go see if Anya needed help with anything as she had went back to the tent after the race had started. She told them they would see them back at the finish line. Clarke and Octavia went with Harper over to the golf cart and she drove them out so they were ahead of the runners. They got to what was the third obstacle in the course from what Harper had told them. It was a tall angled platform that the runners would have to climb up and then they would jump off the top into a big pool of muddy water. It was several minutes before they started seeing some of the runners making their way to the obstacle. Clarke scanned the runners looking for Lexa and the guys. After a few groups had made their way through they finally spotted them. Clarke saw that they were already covered in a thin layer of mud. She watched as Lexa made her way to the platform and started climbing. It was amazing to watch her. She had this focused and determined look on her face and she made scaling the wall look easy. When she got to the top Clarke saw her stop and lean down to help pull people up who were struggling. Once Lincoln and Finn had made it to the top with Lexa she saw the three of them walk over to the edge and jump off into the water. Lexa was the first one to climb up out of the mud pit followed by Lincoln and then Finn. Clarke felt a sense of pride at seeing Lexa be faster than the guys. 

Harper had driven them along the course stopping every now and then so they could watch them go through some of the other obstacles. One of them had been long rows of tires setup that they had to run through and another had been a monkey bar course over a neon green pool of water. Octavia and Clarke had cheered Lexa and the guys on as they watched them. Clarke noticed how Harper looked as she cheered on Lexa. She recognized the way she looked at her, it was a look of infatuation. Clarke tried to ignore how it made her feel, but jealousy is a stubborn bitch and she couldn’t shake the feeling as hard as she tried. 

They decided to head on to the finish line so they wouldn’t miss them getting to the the end of race. When they got down there Clarke saw Anya and Raven were standing together. Clarke couldn’t help noticing their body language and how they were looking at each other as they talked…. _hmmm_ she wondered, but she kept her thoughts to herself.

* * *

Lexa was covered in mud and getting tired, but having an amazing time. She had been counting the obstacles and if she was right they were coming up on the last one now which meant they were almost at the end of the race. Lincoln and Finn ran bedside her as they saw the last obstacle coming into view. Having done these types of races before she knew what the last one was most likely going to be and when she saw the banner above it she had been right, _Electroshock Therapy_. It was a long shallow mud put that curved around a couple different times in an ’S’ shape. There were cords that hung down to just a couple inches off the surface of the water that were wired up to electricity. Lexa knew it was a low voltage so nothing that could really hurt you, but they offered up more than just a tickle. As they neared the obstacle they could see people trying different techniques. She looked over at Lincoln and Finn, “You either run straight through and get shocked or you can float in the water and try and make it around the wires”. The three of them all exchanged looks before nodding to each other. After a group high five they each ran into the jungle of wires. It only took a few steps before Lexa was zapped enough to make herself fall into the water and she saw the same had happened to the guys as well as the runners around them. She just laughed and kept trudging along through the mud trying and failing to keep from getting shocked.

They finally made their way out of the shock therapy pit of doom and were in a short sprint through a muddy stretch at the finish. As they made their way over the finish line Lexa saw their friends over on the sidelines cheering them on. It was a great feeling as they made there way over to them. Lexa’s eyes went to Clarke’s and the look of pride in them invigorated her. Suddenly she felt someone grabbing at her arm pulling her attention away from Clarke. She looked over and realized it was Harper who was pulling her in for a careful hug trying to not get too covered in mud. Lexa saw Finn walking over to Clarke and Lincoln with Octavia and she thought… _maybe this is how the story goes_ … 

After they had all made their way back to the tent Finn and Lincoln had gone over to the outdoor showers that had been setup. Harper grabbed Lexa to lead her back to the trailer she had used to change before the race. Getting her own personal shower to get this mud off of her was definitely a perk Lexa was not ashamed to be taking advantage of at the moment. Of course she could have done without Raven’s comments about her, Harper and a private shower. She hadn’t missed how Clarke had seemed almost angry as they had walked away and she wondered what had caused it. 

* * *

Clarke wasn’t sure what moment it was that sent her over the edge. Maybe it was seeing how Harper kept looking at Lexa or how she talked about Lexa or how she got to be the one to congratulate Lexa after the race. Thanks to the visual she had from Raven’s comment it might have been the fact that right this fucking minute they were probably taking a shower together. She wasn’t sure if it was just one moment or all of them, but something inside her snapped and she needed an outlet. She felt reckless and about to burst with this energy fueled by her anger and jealously feeling the need to do something….anything to get her mind off of this. She looked around as if there was going to be a light shining down on something as a sign to her and that’s when she got an idea. 

She didn’t tell anyone what she was doing, she just went and did it. And that’s how she found herself standing in line at this giant rock climbing wall. She needed a distraction, she wanted to run away from her thoughts, she wanted to focus on something else…anything else. So she climbed…and she climbed…and nothing changed except for one thing. Clarke came back to her senses. The rage she had felt lessened as the reality of what she had done settled in on her. Clarke Griffin was terrified of heights and she was now hanging onto this stupid fucking rock climbing wall 100 feet in the air feeling like an idiot…a scared idiot. 

Clarke was frozen. She felt trapped. She thought she could hear someone yelling something, but she was too panicked to make it out. All she could think about was how stupid she had been and how she was now going to spend the rest of her life hanging on this damn wall. She had her eyes shut tight, she was too afraid to look down again. Looking up wasn’t much better either after she had seen how far away from the top she still was. So she waited, something would happen, _right?_

It felt like she had been hanging there for hours even though she knew it hadn’t been that long, but still her arms and legs were getting tired. Her hands were sweating from her nerves and the heat. She focused on keeping her grip, but she could feel her hands starting to slip. She knew she was tied onto some type of cable, but the thought of letting go scared her. The sweat on her hands was getting worse and the soreness in her hands was settling in. She was trying to adjust her grip when her hand slipped and she thought, _this was it,_ she was going to fall down the wall making a fool of herself and die of embarrassment if the scare from the fall didn’t kill her first. 

As her left hand slipped off the rubber grip she braced herself for the plunge down as she felt her right hand start to slide off too. She waited for it, but suddenly she felt something against her back. Something was holding her up. Only it wasn’t something, she realized, it was _someone_. She felt an arm wrap around her waist helping to hold her up against the wall. That was when she heard their voice as they spoke into her ear, _“I’ve got you, you’re ok”. S_ he knew that voice. She opened her eyes and saw curls of wet brunette hair falling over her shoulders and turned to see Lexa. They were face to face and Clarke looked right into Lexa’s eyes…they were full of concern. Clarke thought as she was hanging on this wall up in the air that she had never felt as safe as she did in that moment looking into those emerald green eyes while Lexa held her. 

Lexa spoke again, “Are you ok? Are you ready to go down now?”. It was then that Clarke realized she was shaking. Probably from the adrenaline and the panic attack she had felt herself having. All she could do was nod up and down to let Lexa know she was ok and ready to get off this damn thing. Clarke felt Lexa tighten her hold on her, “I’m going to start moving down slowly. You’re on the cable, but don’t worry I won’t let go”. Clarke nodded again at Lexa’s words. They moved slowly down the wall and the closer they got to the ground the more embarrassed Clarke started to feel. When they got to the bottom and she stepped off onto the ground she looked around expecting to see a giant crowd of people gawking at her, but there wasn’t. She only saw their friends and a few event people. Lexa must have noticed her surprise, “I made them clear everyone away. I didn’t want people yelling and making noise and have it scare you”. Clarke paused for a moment before she reached out and hugged Lexa whispering in her ear… “Thank You”. 

Octavia came running over to them, “Omg, Clarke are you alright? And what the hell were you thinking?”. Clarke was still a bit shaky, “I…umm…I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to give it a try”. “Well it’s a good thing I saw you climbing up that wall of death and that Lexa finished with her shower when she did. I knew you’re fear of heights would kick in”, Octavia said sounding annoyed with her. “Yeah…it’s a good thing…I guess I just wasn’t thinking clearly”, was all Clarke could say to Octavia. They were all walking back to the tent and Clarke noticed that Lexa stayed by her side the whole time as Octavia walked along side them ranting about how stupid that was of her. 

Once back at the tent they met up with Lincoln and Finn who both looked at them with questioning stares. Finn spoke up, “Clarke, are you alright? You look so pale”. Before Clarke could reply Octavia spoke up, “Little miss daredevil here forget her fear of heights and tried to go conquer the rock climbing wall. Lucky for her I saw and got Lexa to go get her down”. Clarke glared at Octavia, sure the embarrassment she felt was never going to end. “Finn, I’m fine. Just a little shook up, but thanks to Lexa I’m alright”. Finn thanked Lexa as she brushed it off as nothing. “Well I had wanted to climb it today, I just didn’t know it was going to be as part of a rescue mission”, Lexa said with a smirk trying to lighten the mood with a joke. Clarke appreciated it and felt herself relax some. 

It was getting later in the day and Clarke was exhausted, especially after the rock climbing incident. She was mentally exhausted as well. She couldn’t believe how she had let her emotions get so out of control and she still felt raw from it. They had all planned to stay for the concert that was being held to wrap up the event to see the local bands that were playing, but Clarke was ready to get out of there. The only problem was that they had all rode together in Lincoln’s car. She was thinking about how to ask Lincoln for a ride home when Lexa walked over to her, “Long day huh?”. “Do I look that bad?”, Clarke said with a laugh. “What..oh, no. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant it has been a long day and well you do look tired, but not in a bad way”. Clarke found _“Nervous Lexa”_ to be her at her cutest. “Well your instincts are right, I am beat, but we all rode together so I guess I’m stuck”. “Ah, well…I could give you a ride home”, Lexa replied. Clarke thought it was nice of her to offer, “I couldn’t ask you to leave. This is a big day for you and I’m sure you and Harper have plans”. Lexa looked away for a second and then back at Clarke, “I’m not really in the mood to party it up tonight. To be honest I’m exhausted and would love the excuse to cut out early”. Clarke smiled, “Well, ok, as long as you don’t mind”. 

Clarke told Finn that Lexa was going to give her a ride home. He had asked her if she wanted him to leave too, but she told him to stay and enjoy the concert. Everyone was cool with them leaving early, well almost everyone. Clarke watched as Lexa talked to Harper. It was obvious Harper was disappointed, especially when she saw Lexa motion towards her. She guessed Lexa was telling her about giving her a ride home. She saw Harper give off a dismissive wave and nod up at Lexa before leaning up to give her a kiss on her cheek. Clarke pretended to be looking away, but she saw it out of the corner of her eye and she felt a tinge of guilt…but also jealousy. They each said a last goodbye to everyone and made their way to Lexa’s jeep. 

* * *

Lexa noticed Clarke was quiet as they drove, but she figured she had been through quite an ordeal. Lexa was just glad she had been there to help. The look on Octavia’s face when she had come and got her out of the trailer had scared her, but not as much as seeing Clarke trembling on that wall. She felt like Clarke was holding something back as to why she had done that, but Lexa wasn’t going to push her to talk about it if she didn’t want to. Lexa turned on the radio as they drove. She heard Clarke start to hum along to a song that came on the radio as she listened to the lyrics.

 

_“I will never let you fall_

_I’ll stand up with you forever_

_I’ll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven”._

 

“I love this song”, Clarke said, almost in a whisper. Lexa looked over at her, but saw that Clarke was looking out of her window lost in thought. 

When they got to Clarke’s apartment Lexa walked with her up to her unit to make sure she was alright. She had been so quiet on the drive Lexa was a little worried about her. After they got inside Lexa spoke up, “Clarke, is umm…everything ok?”. Clarke looked over at her, “Yeah…I mean…why?”. Lexa didn’t want to push her to talk, but she felt like something was off. “I don’t know you were so quiet on the drive back and even now you seem kind of distant. I just want to be sure you are ok”. 

Clarke looked at Lexa. 

Clarke could still feel Lexa’s arms around her, still feel how safe she had made her feel and in that moment she decided she was done. She was done holding back. She was done ignoring her feelings. The strength to deny what she was thinking and feeling had left her. 

“Why Lexa?” Clarke asked with determination in her voice.

“Why what Clarke?”, Lexa said trying to figure out what had gotten into her.

“Why do you care so much about me?”

“I just…ummm…I mean you are my friend and I care about you. Isn’t that what friends do? Why are you acting like this?”, Lexa said unsure as to what was causing Clarke to behave this way.

“Friends”…Clarke said with a laugh devoid of any humor in her voice shaking her head.

“Lexa, I know you get it, I know you feel it too. Don’t act like you don’t have a fucking clue what’s really going on between us”. 

Lexa felt the fear of the moment creep in. The fear of the meaning behind Clarke’s words as they washed over her. Lexa’s eyes were searching the room. She was looking for some way to escape this moment, but then her eyes came back to Clarke’s and the emotion she saw in them knocked the air out of her lungs. Clarke’s expression had softened. She was looking at Lexa with her walls stripped down. She was letting Lexa see her, all her insecurities, her vulnerability…all that she was thinking was being said without words in that one look. 

Lexa was left speechless. This was it, the moment she had wished for, the moment that she thought would never and could never happen. But it was also a moment she had feared. She watched as blue eyes searched hers desperate to see the same thing in them that she was seeing in Clarke’s. 

Lexa tried to same something…anything, “Clarke…”, it came out as barely a whisper. 

As Lexa searched for what to say next she saw Clarke moving closer and she thought she might die right here, right now. 

Because as Clarke started to close the distance between them bringing their bodies together, Lexa made a decision and found the words she needed to say next…

“I can’t…”.

As the words left her lips she found her hand had come up between their bodies and was pressed against Clarke’s chest holding her back from coming any closer. 

Lexa looked into Clarke’s searching eyes and she saw surprise, she saw questions…but most and worst of all she saw hurt. She never wanted to hurt Clarke, but things couldn’t happen between them…not like this…this was just like before. She couldn’t go through it again…she couldn’t take that risk…not with _anyone_ she thought…not even with _Clarke_.

Lexa needed to get out there.

“I’m sorry…I…”.

And then she was gone. 

Lexa was out the door and down the hall completely unaware of anything around her. She made it to the elevator before she collapsed. She sat on the floor unable to move. She felt the weight of everything settling in on her. She heard a loud sob escape her and became aware that she was crying and she probably had been for longer than she realized. After several minutes she managed to pull herself up and get on the elevator. She made it to her car and sat in the parking lot. She knew that she had hurt Clarke and it killed her, but it was what she had to do. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, but at some point she had started her car and was now driving. She felt outside of her body as she drove. She had no strength left. She had used all of her strength, more than she spent in the race, more than she had spent climbing the rock wall…she had used more strength than all of that combined in that one moment pushing Clarke back. 

The moment replayed in her mind on repeat. Pushing Clarke away…keeping her own walls up…leaving Clarke standing in her apartment…the last image of her being the tears she saw falling down Clarke’s cheeks. 

Her own tears had not stopped and would not all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, please don't hate me, lol. I can't stand when a story tells something in a way that is unrealistic so I wanted to make this journey they are on as real as possible. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. This had some of my favorite moments in the story so far as well as some that were hard to write.  
> There are many more great moments to come...I promise. 
> 
> As always thank you guys so much for all of the wonderful comments and kudos...please keep them coming. :)
> 
> Lastly is my shameless plug to follow me on tumblr at http://spoilerzzz.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's hurt, Lexa leaves town, lots of talking...but Lexa has trouble taking a stand on what to do about her feelings until someone pushes her.

Clarke wasn’t sure when she had finally fallen asleep. She woke up the next morning and rolled over onto her side still clutching the pillow she had held to her chest and cried into all night. As she blinked her eyes open she had a split second of relief from the hurt and embarrassment until it all came flooding back to her. Clarke closed her eyes trying to hide from the pain when she felt the twist in her gut, but all she saw was the image of Lexa pushing her back and walking away from her. Clarke knew she had stepped over the line, but it was a line she felt they had both been walking like a tightrope. Now that she was being honest with herself she knew they had been bound to fall off eventually, she just thought they would have fallen off together.

Clarke had been sure Lexa felt the same way about her. The way she would catch Lexa looking at her when she thought she couldn't see and how she had taken care of her when she had been sick. I mean sure, she thought, that’s something a friend would do, but it felt like more…she was realizing it had always felt like more. 

Last night she had looked into Lexa’s eyes will all of the emotions she had been denying herself to feel. Instead of seeing what she felt mirrored back at her, she had seen surprise and what looked like fear. It was not the reaction she had expected from Lexa and it hurt…Lexa had hurt her and she didn’t know how to deal with the pain she felt from it. Clarke’s body and mind were a whirlwind of emotions. Her feelings for Lexa had exploded out of her body and instead picking up the pieces, Lexa had ran.

The day was passing by and she knew she needed to get out bed before she stayed in it forever. She finally managed to get up and decided to take a bath. Her body was sore from yesterday and it felt good to soak in the tub. Clarke laid in the bath and tried to relax, but she couldn’t quiet her mind from running through the different reasons that would have caused Lexa to react the way she did. There was Harper, but she didn’t think things were that serious between her and Lexa. And of course there was Finn, but _she_ bad been the one to make a move and not Lexa. That just confused Clarke more since it showed she was making a choice. She knew Lexa had been hurt in a past relationship, but she didn’t know the details so she had no way of knowing how or why that was effecting things between them now. She felt embarrassed, confused and hurt… _the trifecta._

 _“Fuck My Life”,_ she groaned out loud and sunk down under the water. 

Clarke finished with her bath and got dressed in some yoga pants and an old t-shirt, deciding she wasn’t going anywhere other than her couch for the day. She zoned out in front of the Tv not really paying attention to the episode of ‘The Housewives of Wherever’ that she had put on. She snacked on junk food with no shame and ordered food from her favorite Chinese place to be delivered. She didn’t have to be back at work until the following evening and since she had slept in for most of the day she knew she would be up most of the night. 

Her thoughts played over and over in her mind with no relief. Clarke didn’t know why it had taken her so long to admit the feelings she had for Lexa. She didn’t know why Lexa had not shown she felt the same way. She didn’t know what if anything she could do about that, but she did know one thing that needed to be done regardless and she was realizing it was long overdue.

* * *

Lexa came up for air pulling her body so she was floating on the surface of the water. She stayed that way for several minutes letting herself feel weightless as she stared up into a blue sky tinged with orange from the oncoming sunset. She finally climbed back into her kayak and started rowing. When she reached the waters edge she got out of the kayak and pulled it up onto the lake’s rocky shore and secured it to the dock. She grabbed her backpack and started heading up the trail that led back to the cabin. 

When she got inside she stripped out of her wet swimsuit and took a hot shower to warm her body. Even in the heat of summer the lakes in Bend could still get cool in the evenings. She finished with her shower and got dressed before going out into the kitchen to make herself something for dinner. When she sat down to eat in the silence of the cabin the thoughts she had been trying and failing to run from flooded her mind. It had been three days since she had walked out of Clarke’s apartment. She had called Anya the next day and told her she needed to get away for a few days. Lexa had told her sister she was going up to the cabin in Bend, but she didn’t tell her why. She knew Anya would let her go without question now, but she would have to explain things when she got back. Lexa would deal with that later. She had needed to get away and get her head straight.

Oregon was home and being in the woods nurtured her soul. She had bought the log cabin in Bend after coming into her first “big time” money as Anya had called it. The cabin had three bedrooms and two full sized bathrooms. The living room had a stone fireplace and windows that lined the walls with views of the lake and the surrounding forest. There was a loft area that had access to a balcony with a hammock, which was Lexa’s favorite spot. She loved spending time at the cabin and wished she could spend more time there. But right now she wasn’t enjoying it as much as she usually did. 

She had too much on her mind.

Clarke and her had almost kissed. A big part of her regretted stopping it from happening, but another part of her still thought it had been the right thing to do. The situation just wasn’t right. She wished things weren’t so complicated. Despite trying not to she had let herself imagine what it would be like to kiss Clarke so many times. She would catch herself looking at Clarke’s lips, imagining how soft they would feel against her own. What it would feel like to have Clarke’s hair curled between her fingers. She had imagined what it would feel to be with Clarke and not just physically, but to truly be with her on every level. However, each time she thought about it she would be reminded of how Clarke was with Finn and that would lead to Costia. Lexa had been hurt before and the thought of getting hurt again was too much so she had pushed Clarke away too afraid to take the chance. And by doing so she felt she had also lost a friend. 

Lexa closed her eyes as she felt the tears coming once again. 

* * *

Clarke was relieved to find she had the on-call room to herself. She was in between double shifts at the hospital and too tired to go home so she decided to crash in one of the on-call rooms instead. She set an alarm on her phone and laid down on the couch where she fell asleep almost instantly. Clarke woke up some time later to the feeling of someone brushing her hair from her face. When she opened her eyes she saw her mom sitting on the arm of the sofa.  

“Hey you”, she heard her mom say softly.

“Hey”, Clarke replied as she started to sit up.

She felt her mom place her hand on her shoulder gently pushing her to lay back down. “It’s ok, you don’t have to get up just yet. I didn’t mean to wake you, I just wanted to come check on you”. 

Clarke hummed in relief and settled herself back into the couch turning onto her side so she could face her mother. 

“Thanks, I’m beat”. Clarke said with a yawn. 

“I’m sure you are. I heard you’ve been picking up double shifts almost every night this week”. 

Clarke rolled her eyes, she was sure she had Octavia to thank for that. 

“Clarke, is everything alright?” 

Clarke sighed as she looked up at her mother and saw nothing but concern etched on her face. She really didn’t want to talk about everything, but she did want to put her mom’s mind at ease. 

“Finn and I broke up”. Clarke said.

 

_She waited for it._

 

Clarke saw her mom holding back from probably doing a victory dance before she replied. “Oh, so you’re upset…I mean…of course you are. I just meant, well…when did it happen? And did you? It wasn’t him was it?”.

“I ended it, a couple days ago”, Clarke answered. 

“I see”, Abby said, processing it all.

 

_Still waiting._

 

“Well it’s for the best, that relationship wasn’t going anywhere and as much as you tried to make it work, it just didn’t”. Abby said not holding back.

 

_Bingo._

 

Now that her mother had gotten her “I told you so” speech out of the way Clarke hoped that she would leave her alone. She didn’t feel like telling her the real reason behind why she was wrapping so much of her time up in work. The only person Clarke had told what had happened with Lexa and breaking up with Finn was Octavia and she had sworn her to secrecy. She had even threatened bodily harm if she told her mother or anyone. Octavia had apparently found a loop hole in their deal by telling her mom about her working so much. 

Clarke sat up on the couch, “Mom, I know that’s how you’ve felt for a long time. But I had to come to the decision on my own and I did…so can we please just leave it at that?”. Clarke could see her mom still looking at her with questions so she thought maybe she could appease her with some details from the breakup.

“I asked Finn to lunch the other day and I think he knew what it was about the second he saw me. I told him that I didn’t think things were working out between us and that we just didn’t seem to be in the same place anymore. He had at first said we needed to spend more time together to get back on track, but I told him I just didn’t see anything changing. He eventually agreed, even though I could tell it hurt him to hear it more than it hurt me to say it”. 

Clarke finished and studied her mother’s face hoping she would be satisfied. 

Her mother finally replied, “It sounds like you handled him and it well. Which is why I’m even more confused now as to why you’ve been walking around looking like you just lost your best friend”.

 

_Damn._

 

Clarke knew she was caught. Her mom wasn’t going to let this go like she had hoped. 

“I really don’t want to talk about it”.

“Clarke, you can talk to me. What is it?”.

Clarke debated what to say and how to say it, but she was exhausted and in more ways than just from work so she conceded the battle. 

“Lexa”.

That was all it took. Four letters and her mom’s face changed from questioning to knowing. 

“Mom…I have feelings for her and I started to share these feelings with Lexa, but I don’t know if she feels the same way or if she’s just confused and scared about what she does feel. I don’t really know anything because she just said she can’t and then she walked away from me, practically running. I made my intentions very clear and she rejected me. We haven’t spoken since and I think I’ve lost what could have at least been the best friend I’ve ever had all because I let my feelings get in the way”. 

Clarke felt her mom brush a finger across her cheek as she wiped away a tear that was running down her face. “Oh Clarke, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset, but I am glad you told me. And I’m sure things will be ok, it sounds like you guys just need to talk”. 

“I don’t know Mom. I texted her the next day asking if we could talk and she never replied, that was four days ago. I’m starting to think that maybe she doesn’t feel the same and so now she’s avoiding me”. 

“Don’t give up just yet Clarke. Give her some more time, maybe she just needed to get her own feelings figured out. I only met her once and like I told you I could tell she cares about you, but these things aren’t always easy”, Abby said.

Clarke closed her eyes as her mom pulled her in for a hug, “Maybe…thanks, Mom”.

Her mom left her in the on-call room to get some more rest before her shift started. As Clarke laid there on the couch and thought about what her mom had said she wanted to think that she was right…maybe Lexa did just need time to sort out her own feelings. But Clarke couldn’t shake the doubt she felt or the hurt. 

* * *

Lexa pulled off the highway to stop for lunch. She was headed back down to LA and had been driving for several hours and needed a break. She spotted a cafe that looked promising so she stopped to check it out. After ordering a sandwich she pulled out her cell phone while she waited. She powered her phone on and grimaced as the sounds came one after another with all of the missed texts, calls and emails she had from her week away. When she had left to go up to the cabin she had turned her phone off just wanting to be completely off the grid. Anya knew to expect it, but Lexa still saw a couple texts from her sister just wanting to see how she was doing. She sent Anya a quick text back letting her know she was fine and on her way back. She also saw she had a text from Clarke that had been sent the day after they had almost kissed. All it said was, _“Can we talk?”._  

Lexa felt bad that Clarke probably thought she had seen it and chosen to ignore her, but as she stared at the text now she didn’t know what to do. So she did nothing. Lexa also saw some texts from Harper asking where she was…she ignored those too. She moved on to checking her emails and decided to update her blog. As she was eating her lunch she looked down and saw Anya was calling her.

Lexa answered, “Hey”.

“Hey, it’s good to hear from you. How was it at the lake?”, Anya asked.

“It was nice. Some time away from the city was good. I just needed to get away for a little bit”.

“I’m glad, but I hope you’ll be ready to talk about whatever is going on when you get back”.

“I will be”, Lexa replied and meant it.

“Don’t shut me out Lexa, you know I’m always here for you”.

“I know Anya and I’m sorry you felt like I shut you out. I just needed some space. I’ll explain everything when I see you”. 

“It’s ok, drive safe and I’ll see you soon”. 

“Thanks”, Lexa said.

After ending her call wth Anya she finished with her lunch and got back on the road. She still had a little over 6 hours left to go which would give her plenty of time to prep herself for talking with with her sister. But as she drove all she could think about was Clarke’s text. She wanted to talk…or at least she had wanted to. After walking away from her like she had Lexa was surprised Clarke had reached out to her. She wasn’t sure where Clarke and her stood now. She had figured she had ruined everything, but maybe…just maybe she hadn’t. 

* * *

Lexa stopped at her favorite local coffee shop on her way over to see Anya. She had gotten home late the night before and was in desperate need of some caffeine. She got her coffee, which she made a double, and headed on her way. She had figured it was best to just get this conversation over with now instead of putting it off.

Lexa used her key to let herself into her sister’s condo. She called out for her when she didn’t see her in the living room, “Anya, it’s Lex”. She then made her way into the kitchen where she sat her coffee down and the scones she had bought. She heard a noise coming from the down the hall towards Anya’s bedroom before she heard Anya reply back, “Hey, umm…just a second”.

Lexa grabbed one of the barstools at the kitchen counter and dug into a vanilla scone. 

After a few more minutes Anya finally came out to the kitchen. Lexa was surprised to see that it looked like she had just finished taking a shower and gotten dressed, “Someone slept in I see”. 

Lexa noticed that Anya seemed a bit nervous and distracted.

“Oh, uh yeah, I guess I did”, Anya said.

Lexa heard a noise that sounded like a door closing coming from down the hall which caused her to drop her scone and narrow her eyes at her sister. “You have someone over”, Lexa said.

Lexa could see Anya searching for what to say next. 

“Look, Lexa, there is something I have been meaning to tell you. I didn’t want you to find out this way, I didn’t know you were going to come over since you had that long drive yesterday. The thing is, I’ve been seeing someone”. 

Lexa had noticed a change in Anya in the last few weeks. She had suspected she might be dating someone since she had canceled dinner plans with her a couple of times. Lexa had decided to wait and let Anya tell her when she was ready. It looked like Lexa had sped that moment up without meaning too.

“Anya, it’s cool. I had kind of suspected it. I should have called and said I was coming over. I can leave and come back later”, Lexa said.

“No. It’s cool, you can stay. It’s just that, well I guess the part I’m sort of nervous about is you finding out how who I’m seeing”, Anya said as she nervously fidgeted with her hands. 

Lexa started to reply saying that whoever it was didn’t matter to her if they made Anya happy when she was knocked speechless. She watched as Raven walked into the kitchen with a towel around her neck drying her wet hair. 

“Surprise!”, Raven said with a grin on her face as she walked over towards Anya. 

Lexa looked from Anya to Raven and back to Anya, “Um…wow…so the two of you?…how did this? I mean…when did this happen?…umm, sorry just wow”. 

Anya answered first, “I think we first noticed something that night at the Ark and things just sort of happened. Like I said I’ve been meaning to tell you, but it just never seemed like the right moment”. 

Raven spoke up next, “We weren’t trying to do anything behind your back. I hope you’re ok with this, but honestly you’re just going to have to deal if not because…this is happening”. 

Lexa was shocked. She knew Anya was bisexual and Raven was…well she was Raven so it wasn’t anything to do with that. She just would have never thought they would go together as a couple. Anya was mature and responsible and Raven was…well again, she was Raven. But Lexa was not going to judge. If it was Raven who she had to thank for Anya’s more laid back mood lately then it was all good in her book. 

Lexa watched as Raven stood next to Anya and reached her arm around her waist. She could see Anya relax into the touch as she looked at her hopeful for her approval. “No, I mean, yeah I’m more than ok with it. You two seem happy and that makes me happy for you. I just never would have guessed, that’s all”. 

Lexa saw Anya smile, “Believe me, you aren’t the only one”. 

Raven poked Anya in her side, “Hey…it’s not really that big of a stretch”. 

Anya laughed out loud, “Oh whatever, you know Tinder would have never matched us up”. 

Lexa smiled as she watched them tease each other, she was glad to see her sister and her friend happy. 

Lexa saw Anya turn her attention back towards her, “Ok, so now that’s over with you can tell us what had you running away to the cabin for the past week”. Lexa huffed out a breath of air as Anya grabbed the scones and pushed her towards to the living room where the three of them could sit and talk. 

Lexa told Anya and Raven everything that had happened. She told them how Clarke had seemed fine the day of the event, but then how odd the whole rock climbing thing had seemed to her. And how when she had offered to give Clarke a ride home she had been quiet and distant while they drove. She told them how Clarke sort of blew up at her out of nowhere when she asked her what was wrong. And lastly she told them about how Clarke had almost kissed her.

“Anya, the way Clarke looked at me. She had looked at me with everything. For a split second I almost let it happen, but then it all hit me and I panicked. So I ran. I ran away from Clarke. I ran away from this town. I just ran”. 

Lexa put her face into her hands and then felt Anya move to sit next to her on the couch. 

She felt Anya start to rub her back, “Lexa, she caught you off guard and you weren’t ready. I can tell you’re upset that you hurt her, but I think both of you are to blame for this. You guys are long overdue for a serious conversation. You two have been getting closer and dancing around your feelings. We’ve all seen the connection you two have. And I know why you’ve been standing your ground not wanting to cross that line. But it’s time to let what happened with Costia stop having so much control over you”. 

Lexa knew Anya was right, but she wasn’t sure what to do. Clarke was with Finn and she didn’t know how to have a conversation with Clarke about them when that was still a factor. 

Lexa looked over at Raven who had been unusually quiet during everything, “So what’s your take on all of this?”. Lexa was ready for some sarcastic remark, but the look on Raven’s face surprised her. 

Raven spoke up, “Lexa, I want you to be happy. You need to figure out what you want and don’t run away from it because the thought of it scares you. The things we run away from never go away, but they do eventually stop being things we can go back to”.

Raven’s words cut deep into Lexa. 

One thing she did know was that she needed to clear things up with Harper before she did anything else. Lexa had no intentions of that going anywhere and it wasn’t fair to keep avoiding being honest with Harper about that. 

Lexa felt the weight of everything settling in on her, but she also felt some amount of relief. She felt like she had been running away from her feelings for Clarke since they first met and the thought of stopping to face them scared her. What scared her even more was the thought of never knowing what could have been if she didn’t. She needed to get things figured out.

* * *

It had been several days since her talk with Anya and Lexa still hadn’t texted Clarke back. She just didn’t know what to say and she didn’t feel ready to meet up with her and talk things over yet. She just didn’t know where that conversation would or could go so she focused on work and not the blue eyed blonde who had been haunting her thoughts and dreams. 

Lexa was busy working on putting together some ideas to send to their graphic designer. She had some updates she wanted to make to their website. She was in the middle of putting an email together when she got a call from their office secretary saying that a woman was there to see her. 

When Lexa walked out of her office and to the lobby she was shocked to see Abby Griffin waiting for her. She felt her fight or flight instincts gear up and she wanted to choose flight, but it was too late…Abby had seen her. Clarke’s mom greeted her with a warm smile, but Lexa remained on guard not sure what this could be about. 

“Abby, it’s umm, nice to see you”. Lexa said without being able to hide the unsure tone in her voice. “How did you know where I worked?”.

Abby replied, “I have my ways and it’s good to see you too. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here. Are you free for lunch? I have something I want to talk with you about and I’d rather not do it here”. 

Lexa was even more unsure now, but she was also curious. “Uh, yeah sure. Just give me a few minutes”.

Lexa hid in her office while she texted Anya who had left to go meet Raven for lunch before Abby had shown up.

 

_Lexa: So Clarke’s mom just showed up at the office._

_Anya: Really?!? What does she want?_

_Lexa: Lunch._

 

_Anya: Omg, what if you’re in one of those mother-daughter love triangles._

_Lexa: Not funny._

_Anya: Thank Raven._

_Lexa: Ugh._

_Anya: Calm down, I’m sure it’s not that, lol._

_Anya: Let me, and by me I mean us, know what happens._

Lexa walked back out to where Abby was still standing in the lobby. They decided on going to this sandwich shop that was within walking distance of Lexa’s office. When they got to the restaurant they both ordered and Lexa noticed that Abby went and grabbed a table in the back. Lexa’s stomach was in knots and she really didn’t have much of an appetite. She was sure Abby was there to talk to her about Clarke, there was no other reason for her to be there. Although, she didn’t know what she could specifically want to talk to her about…which was what probably had her the most on edge. 

Lexa picked up both of their orders once they were ready and made her way back to the table where Abby was sitting. After a couple minutes of awkward silence with them each slowly eating their lunch Abby finally spoke up.

“So Lexa, I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you to lunch. I’m sure you’ve assumed it’s about Clarke”. 

Lexa started to speak up, but Abby continued.

“And it is. Now first, understand a couple things. For one, I’m not here as Clarke’s representative. She doesn’t know we are meeting and I’d like to keep it that way. Also I never get involved in my daughters life when it comes to who she dates. Sure I’ll let my opinions be known, but what’s happening right now, I’ve never done before. Which is probably why her and Finn stayed together for as long as they did”.

Lexa picked up on the form of tense Abby had used, “Did?”

Abby seemed pleased that Lexa had caught that, “Yes, Clarke broke up with Finn”. 

“I, uh, didn’t know”, Lexa said, her mind now reeling. 

“I didn’t think you would and please, you didn’t hear from me. Clarke told me about what happened between you two the other night and that you haven’t spoken since”. Abby said.

As if Lexa hadn’t been uncomfortable enough before, she was dying inside now. She still had no clue why Abby was there other than to make her feel bad, it was all getting to be too much. The feeling to get up and run away was filling every inch of her body. She looked down and saw that her hands were gripping at the table like it was the only thing keeping her grounded. Abby must have noticed because Lexa felt her hand come to rest on her forearm trying to offer a small amount of comfort. 

“Lexa, it’s ok. I’m not here to yell at you for hurting Clarke, I have a feeling you’ve beaten yourself up enough about that. What am I here to tell you is that whatever feelings you have for my daughter, whether it be a friendship or more, please tell her”.

Lexa was at a loss. She had not expected this and she didn’t know what to say. 

“I…it’s…just complicated”, was all Lexa could say.

Abby shook her head, “You don’t owe me any answers. Please just talk to her. I might have overstepped my boundaries by meeting with you and if I have made you uncomfortable I apologize. I sat by while she wasted all of that time on her relationship with Finn, she’s always trying to fix everything even when it’s something that needs to break. I couldn’t sit by and not say anything and watch what I think could be something between the two of you never have a chance. She thinks she’s lost you in every way, even as just a friend. I think for once she thinks she broke something even she can't fix”. 

Lexa nodded as Abby stood up from the table and grabbed her things. “Abby…I will, I’ll talk to her”, Lexa said.

Abby smiled and walked out of the restaurant leaving Lexa a mess of emotions.

* * *

After putting in an ungodly amount of hours at the hospital for the past two weeks Clarke was more than ready for a night out with Octavia. She was also looking forward to some distractions from her thoughts about Lexa in the form of cocktails…lots of them. 

She still hadn’t heard from her and the hurt was more than just from what happened the other night. Clarke missed Lexa. She felt this emptiness inside her like she had been through a bad breakup when Lexa and her had never even gone on a date. She missed her friend. As much as it hurt her to think about she thought she’d take it all back if she could. She would keep her feelings all bottled up inside her if it meant she could at least have Lexa back as a friend. 

Clarke pushed all of those thoughts aside, she was determined to have a fun night out. So she finished getting dressed and left to head out with Octavia when she came by her apartment to pick her up.

They had been at the club for a couple hours and Clarke was feeling pretty good. Her date for the night, Gin and Tonic, had been treating her very well. It felt good to let loose and let the alcohol numb her thoughts and feelings away even for just one night. She had just finished her most recent drink, she was unsure of the count at the moment, and had made her way over to the dance floor. She looked around for Octavia, but she didn’t see her anywhere. As she stood out on the dance floor the next song started up. She felt her body immediately start to react to the rhythm of the song as Rihanna’s Pour It Up flooded the room. 

Clarke suddenly felt the presence of someone starting to dance next to her. She spun around expecting to see Octavia, but instead she saw a guy with dark hair moving along to the song with her. He was cute enough, the alcohol might have helped some, so she thought what the hell. As the song went along her new dance partner started getting a little more comfortable dancing with her. She felt his hands on her waist and she spun around moving out of his touch. He moved closer and began grinding against her backside and started trailing his hands down her sides. The alcohol in her system had clouded her mind some, ok a lot, but she was starting to sober up becoming more uncomfortable as his hands kept moving lower down her body. As soon as his hand cupped her ass she jolted away from him. He didn’t take the hint as she saw him start to grab for her again. Clarke was just about to push him away when out of nowhere someone was pulling him away from her and yelling, _“Get the fuck away from her”._

Clarke watched in shocked as she saw a flash of brunette curls as Lexa moved to stand between her and her now ex-dance partner.  The guy mumbled something and threw his hands up in the air before walking off into the crowd. 

Lexa turned towards her. “Are you alright?”, Lexa asked as her eyes searched over her face.

Clarke was stunned and the alcohol was not helping things as she tried to get a grip on the fact that Lexa was here in front of her. And then she looked into Lexa’s eyes and damn those eyes. In the darkness of the club her green eyes glowed like gems and she could see the concern Lexa felt on her face. “Yeah..I’m fine”, Clarke managed to say.  

Lexa took her hand into hers and walked her over to a table where Clarke sat down and then she was gone. Clarke felt a sense of panic that maybe she had decided to just leave, but then Lexa was back with a glass of water.

“Here drink this, it will help”. Lexa said as she sat down next to her. 

Clarke took a few sips of the water and placed her hand on her forehead as she felt her head was starting to swim. The amount of alcohol she had drank for the night was catching up with her, but she was still alert enough to want answers. She looked over at Lexa, “Why are you here?”. She realized it came out kind of harsh. Maybe harsher than she intended it to or maybe it was exactly how she had wanted it to sound…she wasn’t sure. 

She saw Lexa flinch at her words as she was looking around avoiding making eye contact with her. “Umm, Octavia called Lincoln and invited him to come here, but she sounded really drunk on the phone. We were at the gym and decided to come and make sure you guys got home ok. I think they already left, but I can go look for them if you’d rather Lincoln take you home”, Lexa said.

Clarke wasn’t sure what to feel, but she knew she didn’t want Lexa to leave. Here Lexa was watching out for her like she cared, which made Clarke both happy and confused. This was the same Lexa who hadn’t texted her or called her back in over a week. The same one who had rejected her. It was all too much for Clarke to process, especially in her current condition. She suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe, like there wasn’t enough space in the club and the walls were closing in on her. 

“No, I don’t want…” Clarke shook her head. “Can we just go”, Clarke said.

Lexa stood up and outstretched her hand towards her. “Yeah, lets get you home”, Lexa said. Clarke looked up at her for a few seconds before placing her own hand inside Lexa’s. As she stood up she felt Lexa’s grip tighten as she helped to steady her. 

Clarke continued to hold on to Lexa’s hand as she let her lead them out of the club and to her car. Lexa’s hand felt strong in hers, but also gentle. Clarke thought about how it was just a simple gesture, but something about it felt like so much more…she never wanted to let go.

* * *

Lexa drove Clarke home and walked her up to her apartment. After Clarke walked inside Lexa stood in the doorway unsure of what to do next. She hadn’t expected that this was going to be how they would next see each other. Her and Clarke needed to talk, but now was not the time with Clarke having been drinking. She watched as Clarke kicked off her heels and turned back to look at her. They both stood there looking at each other with so many unsaid things hanging in the air between them. It was Clarke who finally spoke up, “Thanks for dealing with that guy and for the ride home”. Clarke said it like she owed something to Lexa when she owed her nothing. It was Lexa who owed so much to her.

Lexa finally stepped inside the apartment closing the door behind her. She knew now was not the time for them to talk about everything, but she couldn’t leave without saying something. She took a few steps towards Clarke, but still kept a comfortable distance between them. 

“Clarke, I,…I know now isn’t the time for all of this. There are a lot of things we need to talk about, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I reacted, I’m sorry for how that must have made you feel. I should have reached out to you sooner to explain everything, but I needed some time…I just needed to figure some things out first”.

Lexa looked at Clarke and could tell she was thinking over her words.

“And did you?”, Clarke asked, “Figure whatever these things are out”. 

Lexa took a step closer to Clarke, at first unaware that she had even done it. She saw Clarke tense up and what she saw when she looked into Clarke’s eyes pulled at her heart like nothing else she had ever felt. Lexa saw the hurt she had caused her, but also what looked like hope. And Lexa hoped that what she saw was that Clarke still felt the same way and that maybe, maybe there was still a chance for them. 

As she stood there looking at Clarke she realized they were in the exact same spot where they had been just a couple of weeks ago. Where Lexa had ran from Clarke when she had been at her most vulnerable. She had ran away from confronting her past and dealing with her own feelings. It seemed that fate was giving her a second chance, a do-over to get things right this time around. Lexa would be damned if she was going to mess this up, because she was done running. She would never run from Clarke again.

“Yes”, Lexa said. 

Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes hoping to convey what that one word meant. She looked at her stripped bare of the walls she kept up around herself as she moved even closer to Clarke so that they were almost touching.

“I want you”, Lexa said.

The words left Lexa’s lips in almost a whisper they were spoken so softly, but not out of being unsure or wary about what she was confessing. The power behind that statement had almost left her breathless. In that moment she felt like she had never and would never want anything more in her entire life than to have Clarke be a part of hers. 

“I want all of you Clarke. I have for a long time. It’s just that there are some things that made me afraid to confront the feelings I have for you, feelings that are so strong I sometimes can’t breath when I’m around”, Lexa said feeling a weight lift off of her as the words left her mouth.

She was watching Clarke, who looked almost stunned, trying think of what to say. Lexa felt the fear she had been worried about creeping in. The fear that maybe she had jumped to conclusions too fast. Maybe she had come on a little too strong.

“That is, if you’ll still have me after what I did. Clarke, please tell me I haven’t messed this up. Tell me that we still have a chance to give us a try”, Lexa said and she knew she sounded desperate, but she didn’t care because she was.

Lexa watched as Clarke shut her eyes and tears began streaming down her cheeks. Without even thinking twice about it Lexa reached up and started brushing away the tears as she cupped Clarke’s cheeks softly in her hands.

Clarke opened her eyes and replied, “Yes”.

Lexa felt her own tears now as she leaned in closer to Clarke so that their foreheads rested against each other. They stood like that for what felt like seconds that stretched on forever until it was Clarke who made the next move. She pulled back slightly looking up into Lexa’s eyes as she then closed the distance between them and their lips finally met. 

The kiss started out soft and gentle. Lexa could feel her lips trembling from the intensity of it and all of the emotions that were spilling out of her. She melted into the feeling of Clarke’s lips on her own as Clarke kissed her back. The kiss heated as they each became more comfortable with each other in that moment and desperate for more. Lexa’s hands moved to Clarke’s hair curling her hand around the side of her neck as she pulled them closer together. At the same time she felt Clarke’s hands move to her sides trailing down to her waist and pulling their bodies so they were flush against each other. She felt one of Clarke’s hands graze her side where her shirt had risen up and her touch felt like fire on her skin. Lexa pulled Clarke’s bottom lip into her mouth sucking on it and she both felt and heard Clarke moan from the action. She then brushed her tongue out tracing the line of Clarke’s bottom lip seeking permission to deepen the kiss further. Clarke answered by opening her mouth wider and connecting their tongues at the same time. Lexa couldn’t hold back the moan that came up deep from her throat as she relished in the feel and taste of Clarke’s tongue against her own. 

Lexa eventually broke the kiss as they each took in deep breaths, but never loosing eye contact with each other. Lexa sighed and leaned in brushing their noses together. Lexa moved her hands down to Clarke’s clasping them together at their sides. 

“I’ve wanted to do that since I first met you at the hospital”, Lexa confessed as her cheeks reddened. 

“I think I’ve been waiting for it to happen for just as long too. It just took me a while to realize it”, Clarke replied. 

Lexa felt Clarke lean back in for another kiss and she kissed her back getting lost in the moment all over again. She felt Clarke reaching under her shirt brushing her hands across her stomach and she broke the kiss off pulling back to look at Clarke. Lexa saw a confused look on her face, but she needed to set a boundary…for that night at least.

“I don’t want to take things any further tonight…well I mean I do want to, but we shouldn’t. Not until we’ve had a chance to talk things over. I don’t want there to be anything left hanging in the balance or misunderstood between us”, Lexa said hoping that Clarke understood that this wasn’t another rejection. Lexa saw Clarke nod as Lexa reached out and brushed some loose strands of Clarke’s hair behind her ear. Lexa continued her thought, “I just want us to both have a clear head when we talk. You’ve had quite the night and I don’t want there to be any regrets in the morning when we still have things to talk about and clear up”.

“I understand and I agree we do need to talk things over and I’m too tired to deal with all of that right now, but just promise me one thing”, Clarke said.

“Anything”, Lexa answered.

“Stay the night, I just want you here with me”.

Lexa pulled Clarke into a hug and held on to her wanting to show just how much she meant her next words. Lexa turned and softly spoke into Clarke’s ear, “I’m not going anywhere”. She felt Clarke tighten their hug as if using the action as a way of answering the same thing back at Lexa. 

They stayed there just holding onto each other for a few minutes neither of them wanting to let go just yet. After some time Lexa felt Clarke pull away out of the hug and reach down to grab her hand. She laced their fingers together and led Lexa towards her bedroom. Lexa watched as Clarke pulled some clothes out a dresser. She handed her a shirt and some sleeper shorts and Lexa noticed she had some clothes for herself as well. Clarke took a shower and changed in the bathroom giving Lexa the privacy of her bedroom. Lexa changed into the clothes Clarke and given her and waited for her sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked around and was almost dizzy with how overwhelming the feelings were that she was having. The realization of being where she was at that exact moment came crashing down on her. She thought it was the best feeling she had, had in a while. 

Clarke finished with her shower and came back out into the bedroom. Clarke was wearing an old band t-shirt and some boxers, she looked almost too adorable to be real. Lexa felt herself almost start to cry over how happy the image was making her. They both climbed into the bed not saying a word. Lexa settled in behind Clarke as she moved towards her so that Clarke’s back was up against her chest. She wrapped an arm around Clarke’s waist and felt her reach up and grab her hand with hers pulling it tight against her body. Lexa leaned down and nuzzled her face into Clarke’s neck inhaling her scent _…lavender_. Lexa thought she’d never be able to smell lavender again without thinking of Clarke. 

Lexa felt Clarke’s body relaxing into hers and it felt like they had laid this way together a million times before. Lexa hadn’t even fallen sleep yet and she already felt like she’d never be able to sleep again without Clarke in her arms. 

“Goodnight”, Lexa whispered.

“Goodnight Lexa”, Clarke whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, first off I am so sorry for leaving that last chapter the way I did having a long break before the next one. I had meant to have this chapter further along, but I have a lot things going on right now and just got behind. I had wanted to post this on Friday, but I wasn't 100% happy with it and then I went out of town for the weekend and just got home to no power at my house from a storm. The power is back on and so here it finally is. I really hope that you guys liked where I took things after the cliffhanger in the previous chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for all of the wonderful comments. Please keep them coming, I can't say enough how much they mean to me to see in my inbox. You can find me on tumblr as Spoilerzzz. Thanks and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa go on a date.
> 
> or
> 
> This is it....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you guys so much for being patient with me. I know that it has been a while since my last update, but my sister got married last Sunday and things were just a whole other level of busy for me. I worked on this chapter all day today making sure it was how I wanted it and I hope you guys enjoy it. I will add that I do earn my "mature" rating in this one so just a heads up on that for anyone who might need it...although I have a feeling most of you will like how things go. I'll add more notes at the end. Enjoy! :)

Clarke woke up the next morning to the feeling of Lexa all around her. Brunette hair falling over her shoulder. Lexa’s arm draped around her waist. Her legs tangled around her own. Lexa’s breath on her neck, slow and steady letting Clarke know she was still asleep. Clarke turned her body slightly moving back more into Lexa and she felt the hold she had on her body tighten. Even in her sleep Lexa wanted to be closer and Clarke felt a surge of heat run through her own body at the feeling of how intimate the expression was. 

Clarke thought back to last night. To their kiss. To finally knowing that Lexa felt the same way about them as she did. Clarke took back every thought she had about wanting to go back and not have stepped over that line. The truth was she could already feel herself being selfish because Lexa’s friendship wasn’t enough. She had been foolish to think it ever could have been. She wanted nights of worshipping each other until they fell asleep. She wanted mornings waking up in each others arms. She wanted stolen glances from across the room she didn’t have to hide, but that were instead small shared moments between both of them. She wanted inside jokes that only they knew the meanings behind. Clarke wanted to know everything about Lexa. She wanted it all.

It was that last thought that brought Clarke back down. They needed to talk. She knew Lexa had something she needed to tell her, something about why she had walked away from her. The feeling of that moment still stung, but last night had softened it. She had seen the exact moment when Lexa had realized they were in the same spot as they had been two weeks ago. They had been caught in that same moment with each other. Clarke had finally seen what she had been so desperate to see in Lexa’s eyes the other night. Clarke had also seen the restraint Lexa had used in letting it be her who closed the last bit of space between them and initiate the kiss. Lexa had been giving her that moment back as if they had gone back in time and restarted it from the beginning. Only this time it was better…it was so much better. Clarke thought that she would do it all over again if it was what Lexa needed to be completely in that moment with her. 

Her mind was still thinking over what Lexa could have to tell her and she hoped that once it was out it didn’t change anything. Clarke knew it was one of the reasons Lexa had stopped things from going any further between them last night. The other reason being that she had been drinking all night at the club which Clarke was a little ashamed of now. Clarke had to agree that she was glad they hadn’t rushed things. She wanted things between them to be special, especially their first time together.  It was then that a thought came into her head that had her grinning and longing even more than she already had been for that moment to happen between them.  

Clarke felt Lexa starting to stir so she rolled over so she was facing her. She lightly brushed Lexa’s hair back from her face so she could see her better. Being face to face with Lexa was almost too much to take in and she felt her breath catch and her heart flip when Lexa opened her eyes. Clarke didn't think she could ever get tired of staring into those depths of emerald green.

“Good morning”, Clarke said not holding back her smile.

“It is indeed”, Lexa replied and moved closer to Clarke pressing a quick kiss to her lips. 

“I could get used to this”.

“I think I already am”, Lexa said. 

Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa. The kiss started soft, but quickly escalated as Clarke brushed her tongue out at Lexa’s lips and she answered by opening her mouth wider allowing her to deepen the kiss. Clarke reached between them and pulled on Lexa’s shirt reaching underneath it and stroking her hand across her firm stomach. Clarke felt Lexa hum her approval on her lips. Lexa moved and suddenly she was lying on top of her pressing their bodies together as she continued the kiss. Clarke roamed her hands over Lexa’s back as she felt Lexa start to kiss down her neck. Clarke wanted this, she wanted Lexa…but she wanted nothing to be left unsaid between them when they took that next step. With the last bit a willpower she had Clarke brought her hands up to Lexa’s shoulders and pushed on them just enough so that Lexa was now looking down at her face. 

“We should probably stop”, Clarke said in a shaky breath. She saw Lexa come out of the same daze she had been in moments ago, caught up in the feel of each other.

“Yeah…sorry…I got carried away”, Lexa said sounding just as breathless. 

“I know, me too…and don’t apologize, never apologize for trying to ravish me”, Clarke said with a laugh as she smiled up at Lexa.

Lexa laughed too moving off of her and laid down next to her on the bed again, “Noted”. 

“I guess we should get up”, Clarke said as she looked at Lexa who had a nervous look on her face all of a sudden. Clarke reached over and brushed her finger along Lexa’s cheek. “Hey, I know we need to talk and I know you have some things to tell me that aren’t going to be easy for you to say. But Lexa know that I am here for you…I’m here for us”. 

Lexa reached up and placed her hand on top of Clarke’s holding it to her cheek, her eyes never leaving Clarke’s, “I know”. 

* * *

Lexa begrudgingly let Clarke pull her out of bed. They were now sitting on Clarke’s couch eating breakfast…or at least what Clarke considered to be breakfast. Lexa did not normal eat cereals that had cartoon characters on the box, but this morning she was making an exception. 

“What?”, Lexa asked as she saw a big smirk form on Clark’s face.

“Oh nothing…just enjoying corrupting your body with sugared cereal”.

“There are other ways I could think of…”, Lexa replied enjoying the reaction that got out of Clarke as she nearly spit out her food. 

“Um, right and on that note I think you’ve had enough sugar”.

Lexa watched as Clarke took their bowls over into the kitchen and came back to join her on the couch. They each sat there not saying anything at first. Lexa felt the mood shift between them as she saw Clarke contemplating what to say. Lexa could see that Clarke was just as nervous about their talk as she was which comforted her that they were on the same page. It also gave her the strength she needed to speak up first. 

“Clarke, is it ok if we talk things over now?”, Lexa asked.

“Yeah, I’m ready if you are”.

Lexa nodded and turned so that her and Clarke were sitting facing each other on the couch.

“I know I’ve mentioned to you about having had a bad past relationship, but I never went into the details. It’s just hard for me to talk about”. Lexa felt Clarke reach over and place her hand on her leg and give it a reassuring squeeze. 

“Her name was Costia and we met in college, I know, a tale as old as time. We started out as just friends. Costia was seeing someone when I met her…a guy named Roan”, Lexa paused for a second as she saw Clarke already noticing some of the similarities. “Things between us became complicated as we hung out more. I started to develop feelings for her. I guess I wasn’t so subtle about it because she brought it up one day out of nowhere. She told me that she had feelings for me too and that she wanted to give us a try. When I asked about Roan she had told me that they weren’t that serious and that she would end things with him. So we started dating. We were together for almost two years. I found out the hard way that love does funny things to a person. Like how it can blind you from seeing things you know are there, but that you don’t want to acknowledge. The love I had for her made me weak. I ignored all of the times she wouldn’t answer my calls or reply to my texts. I overlooked dates we would have planned that would end up being canceled last minute. I accepted and believed all of the reasons she gave me whether it be that she didn’t have signal, her phone died, something came up at work…the list went on and on”.

Lexa looked down at her hands and felt the embarrassment of how naive and clueless she had been creep into her, but then there was Clarke. Lexa felt her reach over and take her hand into hers lacing their fingers together. 

Lexa continued. 

“It was Anya who found out what was going on. She saw them together, Costia and Roan, at a movie theater. When Anya told me she had seen them making out I didn’t believe her. She had never really liked Costia very much so I accused her of making it up. We had the worst fight we’ve ever had and it was all because I was too scared to face the truth. I let my feelings for someone who was hurting me come between us. I guess it was the first domino to fall though because something made me want to question Costia about where she had been that night. We got into a huge argument over it, she said I was being clingy and possessive. I guess she decided she was done with it all because that was when everything came out. The truth was she had never left Roan. She had been seeing him the whole time we were together. She told me I was just a phase that had drug on for too long. I was her _“college lesbian experience”_ and nothing more. I had never felt more used and hurt in my entire life than I did in that moment”. 

Lexa was cutoff by suddenly having Clarke in her lap and her arms curled around her in a tight hug. 

“Lexa, I had no idea. That must have been awful”, Clarke said still holding her. 

“Clarke I never wanted to hurt you. Everything was just so similar. I didn’t want to loose you as a friend by letting my feelings get in the way again. And I was too afraid to take a chance on getting hurt. So I ran and I am so sorry. I just needed some time to think things over. I drove up to Oregon where I have a cabin and cut off any ties to the outside world for a while. I didn’t get your text until I was back in town and by then I figured you didn’t want anything to do with me. I shouldn’t have shut you out like that. I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me”. 

Clarke leaned back so that she was looking Lexa in the face before she spoke.

“Lexa I forgive you…please, you don’t have to keep apologizing. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have surprised you like that with how I felt, but I just came to a point where I couldn't ignore it and keep it bottled up any longer. I had no way of knowing what you’d been through with your ex. Lexa you need to know that I will never hurt you, I could never do that to you”.

“I know and you have nothing to be sorry for Clarke, this is all on me. I have been holding on to this for too long and letting it keep me from getting too close to anyone. But, Clarke, you snuck past the walls I tried to keep up and I’m not afraid anymore. I’m done letting my past get in the way”. 

Lexa moved to kiss her, but Clarke spoke up just before their lips touched.

“I broke up with Finn. I decided to end things with him the day after you and I almost kissed. I don’t know why I stayed with him as long as I did. I guess it was comfortable and before you came along I honestly didn’t know how it felt to be really connected with someone. I didn’t know what would happen, if anything, between us, but I knew there was no way I could stay with him feeling what I do for you”. 

Lexa felt Clarke looking at her gauging her reaction to the news and she was apparently not giving her what she had expected. 

“So…you don’t seem to be surprised by this”, Clarke said as she moved off of Lexa’s lap so she could see her better.

“Well…look I don’t want there to be any secrets between us, but you have to promise to not get mad”.

“Umm…ok”, Clarke said with some amount of hesitation in her voice.

“Your mom might have asked me to lunch and told me that you broke up with Finn…but don’t be mad at her and please don’t tell her I told you. She’s intimidating enough as it is and I think she likes me so I don’t want to ruin that. And besides, it’s probably one of the main reasons we are sitting here talking now so we kind of owe her that”.

Lexa was not expecting Clarke’s reaction…she was laughing, like full on laughing. 

“Sorry, I’m just picturing how that lunch must have gone and the look on your face. I’m sure you must have thought she was there to give you a piece of her mind”. 

“I did actually”, Lexa said now laughing too and glad that Clarke wasn’t mad. 

“While we are on the subject. You should know that Harper is aware that there is nothing between us”, Lexa said.

“Aww, you sent the puppy back to the pound”, Clarke said faking a sad face that quickly turned into a smile as she couldn’t hold back her laugh. 

Lexa had to laugh as well, “Be nice Clarke, but yes she’ll no longer be around causing you to get jealous and go braving rock climbing walls”. Lexa watched as Clarke’s eye went wide and her cheeks quickly reddened. 

“How did you…”, Clarke said.

“I sort of guessed it after thinking over how your mood had changed so quickly that day”. 

Clarke looked embarrassed and while Lexa found it very cute she didn’t want her feeling that way. She leaned over so that they were face to face. “Jealous Clarke is super sexy”, Lexa said before kissing her. 

Several minutes later Clarke was lying on top of Lexa on the couch as they made out, each of them roaming their hands over the others body. Lexa felt Clarke start to grind her hips down onto her own and it just about undid her. “Clarke…”, Lexa whispered in between kisses and it was said as a question. If Clarke wanted things to keep going Lexa had no problem with it, but she wasn’t going to without Clarke’s permission. 

Lexa was surprised when Clarke stopped their kiss. Clarke pushed herself up so she was hovering just above Lexa with their noses still touching before she spoke up, “I’d love to, but I have to work tonight and I don’t want this to be something we rush. I want a whole night with you and the morning after”. 

“Me too. But we have to stop because…fuck, you’re killing me Griffin”, Lexa said as she sat up and wrapped her arms around Clark as she was now sitting in her lap. 

Clarke laughed, “I’d call out, but I have some patients I need to check on”. 

“No, I get it. Your dedication to your work and the people you help, _it’s why I…_ I mean it’s why your, you”, Lexa said and she was slightly terrified by what she had almost said. It was too soon. They had only settled on giving dating a try for a matter of hours and here she was about to say that four letter word. Clarke just smiled at her and didn’t comment on it so Lexa hoped she hadn’t caught was she had almost said. “So when do you need to leave?”, Lexa asked.

“Not until later, we have some time to hang out”.

* * *

Several hours and many episodes of their current Netflix binge option, “Making a Murderer”, later and Lexa found herself lying on the couch with a sleeping Clarke in her lap. They had lounged around all day watching Tv and talking. They hadn’t even left the apartment to get lunch instead having this sandwich place they both loved deliver. Lexa stroked Clarke’s hair as she slept, not minding at all since she knew she was working that night and needed a nap. Lexa heard her phone vibrate and she reached for it on the coffee table trying to not wake up Clarke in the process. She was successful and saw she had a text from Anya.

_Anya: Ok, I’m dying over here…how did “the talk” go?_

Lexa had texted Anya that morning letting her know she wouldn’t be in the office and that Clarke and her were finally going to talk.

_Lexa: It went good…really good actually._

_Anya: I’m glad Lex, I knew Clarke would understand. And I’m glad you’re done letting that bitch Costia keep you from being happy. You deserve it._

_Lexa: Thanks Anya._

_Lexa: So I’m going to plan something for me and Clarke, I’ll probably be out of the office the next couple of days. If you’re ok with that._

_Anya: I’ll hold the fort down. You two have fun…it’s about time._

_Lexa: Thanks and I know…believe me I know, lol._

Lexa laid there with Clarke not wanting to get up, but it was getting close to when she knew Clarke would need to start getting ready for work. Lexa brushed her hand across Clarke’s cheek before she spoke up to wake her, “Clarke…”.

“Hmm”, Clarke replied as she started to stir.

“Hey, sorry, but it’s time for you to get up”. 

Clarke yawned as she opened her eyes, “Too bad, I was having a really nice dream”.

“Oh yeah?”, Lexa said as she helped Clarke sit up.

“Yeah, I had this really hot girlfriend”. 

“You did…so what did she look like?”, Lexa asked pretending she didn’t know where this was going.

“Hmm…she had long wavy chestnut hair, a killer jawline, legs for days and these amazing green eyes”, Clarke said with a playful smile on her lips.

“She sounds pretty amazing”. 

“You are”, Clarke said and placed a kiss on Lexa’s lips. 

“So does this make us Facebook official?”

“I think it does”, Clarke said.

“So what’s your work schedule like?”, Lexa asked.

“After tonight I’m done for the rest of the week. My mom forced me to take a few days off”. 

“I’ll have to thank her for that later”, Lexa said. “Have dinner with me tomorrow night.”

“Are you asking me out on a date Ms. Woods?”

“I am indeed, Ms. Griffin”.

“Lexa, I’d love to”, Clarke said. 

“Perfect”, Lexa said beaming ear to ear. “Clarke I’m really glad we talked”.

“Me too”, Clarke said. “Now you need to go because you’re too much of a distraction and I need to get ready for work”. 

Lexa smiled, “Kicking me out already?”.

“Only temporarily”, Clarke said. 

Lexa got dressed in some clothes she borrowed from Clarke and turned to give her one last kiss before leaving.

“I’ll text you later with the details for tomorrow night”, Lexa said after breaking their kiss.

Clarke smiled up at her, “Can’t wait”. 

* * *

Later that night Clarke was taking a quick break from her shift at the hospital to eat a snack and decided to call Octavia.

“Hey Clarke, what’s up?”, Octavia said answering her call.

“Oh nothing much, just working a late shift tonight”, Clarke said.

“You and those crazy hours you work, are you on break?”

“Yeah, I’m taking a snack break. _So…Lexa and I are dating._ And oh, I found these peanut butter filled pretzels at the store, they are really good and…”.

“Clarke! Forget about the damn pretzels. Did you say that you and Lexa are dating?!?”, Octavia yelled over the phone. 

Clarke could barely stop laughing at the reaction she had gotten out of Octavia to respond back.

“Yes, I did”, Clarke finally managed to say.

“The same Lexa that has been MIA for the past two weeks?”

“The same one. We talked things over. She was treated badly by her ex and it left her really messed up, but she’s moving past it and we are giving us a go, #girlfriends”, Clarke said. She realized it felt even more real, and amazing, saying it out loud. 

“Well I’m glad you guys worked things out…OMG Clexa is finally happening”, Octavia cheered. 

“Order the shirts, it’s official”, Clarke replied.

“I’m glad you guys finally got on the right track”.

“Thanks, me too. Lexa’s planning our first date for tomorrow night and I’m so excited I can barely concentrate”, Clarke said.

“I’ll of course want all of the details afterwards…which I won’t expect to get until the next day of course”, Octavia said.

“Yeah, maybe even not until the day after that…”.

“Good point Clarke. The amount of sexual tension between you too finally getting released is sure to be some Earth shattering level shit”, Octavia said with a laugh. 

“Let the countdown begin…but for now I need to get back to work. I’ll talk to you later”.

“Later Clarke”, Octavia said as they ended their call.

Clarke got back to work making her next set of rounds checking in on her patients. She was glad she had work to keep her busy because she really couldn’t wait for the next night to get there. In between patients she would let her mind go back to wondering what Lexa was planning for their date. Maybe dinner and drinks out at a nice restaurant or maybe something a little more intimate. No matter what, she’d be with Lexa and she knew she would enjoy whatever she planned. 

* * *

It was nearly 1am and Lexa couldn’t sleep. Her mind wouldn’t stop thinking over the details for the date she was planning with Clarke the next night. The level of excitement she felt over everything was also to blame for why she was still staring at her ceiling. She mentally ran through her checklist, again, of the things she had done and still needed to do to get everything ready. Lexa had thought over several different places they could go and ways to spend their first date until she had finally settled on what she thought was going to be perfect. She hoped Clarke would like what she had decided on. She laid there unable to sleep with Clarke so on her mind and knowing she was at work and would be up she grabbed her phone.

_Lexa: I can’t sleep._

_Clarke: Something on your mind?_

_Lexa: More like someone…_

_Clarke: They must be really special._

_Lexa: You have no idea._

_Clarke: Actually, I think I do._

_Lexa: Well aren’t we confident._

_Clarke: You have no idea…but you will._

_Lexa: So not helping me with the whole can’t sleep thing._

_Clarke: Lol, I have to admit you might have been on my mind some tonight too._

_Lexa: Something tells me that’s an understatement._

_Clarke: Look who’s the confident one now._

_Lexa: So…tomorrow night, is 7pm ok?_

_Clarke: Nice topic changer…and yes 7pm is perfect._

_Lexa: Great, I’ll be picking you up around 7 then._

_Lexa: I guess I’ll leave you alone now and let you get back to work._

_Clarke: It’s kind of slow right now, thanks for keeping me entertained._

_Lexa: Have a goodnight Clarke._

_Clarke: Thx, you too._

Lexa put her phone back on her nightstand and found herself feeling more relaxed. She could still feel the nervous excitement she had in her system, but just texting with Clarke had put her mind at ease. She rolled over and closed her eyes as she felt herself relaxing enough to fall asleep. 

* * *

Clarke was finishing with her makeup and looking herself over in the bathroom mirror until she was pleased with how she looked. She bit her lip at the anticipation she felt over Lexa seeing what she had decided to wear, she was sure it would give her the reaction she wanted…among other things. 

She had just finished putting her shoes on, she was going with a pair of black high heels, when she heard a knock at the door. The butterflies in her stomach swarmed to life as she walked over to the front door of her apartment. She didn’t even bother looking to see who it was and just opened the door. To her surprise and disappointment it was not Lexa standing on the other side, but instead a tall muscular man with a large beard. He smiled at her which made him look slightly less intimidating. 

“Good evening Ms. Griffin, my name is Gustus. I am Ms. Woods driver and here to pick you up. She should have sent you a text confirming it”.

Clarke grabbed her phone and sure enough she had a text from Lexa telling her she was having her driver Gustus pick her up.

The man extended his hand towards Clarke which she hesitantly took and she was surprised by the gentleness in the handshake he gave her. 

“Um…hi. It’s nice to meet you.”, Clarke said sounding somewhat confused.

“Ms. Woods apologizes for the change in plans, but she had a last minute errand to run and did not want you to wait. If you are ready to go, the car is waiting downstairs”. 

Clarke nodded before grabbing her purse and following Gustus down towards the elevator. As they rode down she couldn’t help thinking about how formal this was. She knew Lexa was very successful and would have to be very comfortable financially, but this was the first time she had experienced it. She wasn’t feeling weird about it though and that sort of surprised her. She felt like it gave Lexa a mysterious like edge, that she had this level of control and power that Clarke had yet to see. She felt slightly turned on by it.

When they got downstairs she saw a black limo with tinted windows parked by the curb. Gustus walked over to the car and held the door open for her. Clarke climbed in thanking him as she did. There was a bottle of chilled white wine and a glass waiting for her inside the car. She gladly poured herself a glass of wine hoping that a little alcohol in her system would help her nerves. Because she found that she was nervous. So nervous that she hadn’t even noticed where they were driving to until the car pulled up to a familiar building. They were at Lexa’s loft. 

Gustus opened the door and helped her out of the car and then handed her a key.

“Ms. Woods told me to give you this and told me to tell you to let yourself in. She should be back any minute now”. 

“Thank you and thanks for the ride”, Clarke replied.

“You are very welcome. Have a lovely evening Ms. Griffin”, Gustus said before walking back towards the car after he had walked Clarke to the door of the building. 

Clarke made her way up to Lexa’s apartment. When she got to her door she knocked to see if maybe Lexa had already gotten back. After there was no answer she decided to use the key and let herself in. It had been a while since she had been over at Lexa’s, but the place looked very similar to how she remembered it…clean and organized. She heard some music playing and noticed the spiral staircase in one of the corners of the room and it sounded like the music was coming from that direction. She took the stairs up and when she opened the door at the top she couldn’t believe what she saw. It was a rooftop deck with a gorgeous view of downtown LA, but it wasn’t the view of the city that had her so blown away. Lexa had decorated the entire deck with flowers and string lights that were hung all around the trellis that covered a table and chairs. There was also a sitting area on the other end of the deck with cushioned chairs and a sofa. 

Clarke stood there just taking it all in, amazed at what Lexa had done. She walked over to the table which had an arrangement of different colored tulips on the center of it in a vase. She leaned down to smell them, the flowers were just so…

“Beautiful…”

Clarke’s attention was quickly pulled away from the flowers at the soft sound of Lexa’s voice. She looked up and saw Lexa standing near the door that led back inside the apartment.

“You look beautiful Clarke”, Lexa said, louder this time. 

“Thanks, you look…amazing”, Clarke said as she took in Lexa’s outfit. She watched Lexa walk over towards her. Lexa was wearing black skinny jeans and a white button up top with a black vest that she had left unbuttoned. Clarke had come to admire how Lexa was the queen of mixing casual and dressy attire. She pulled off the casual dapper look so well with her leather chelsea boots adding the right finishing touch. She wore her hair down and had it draped over one of her shoulders and Clarke ached to reach out and run her fingers through it. She realized she had been staring, but noticed Lexa doing the same and she knew she had chosen her dress wisely. 

“You remember?”, Clarke asked as she ran her hands over her dress smoothing out the material.

“How could I not. I replayed that moment over and over in my head so many times I lost count”.

Clarke felt herself blush. She had worn the same red dress she had worn to Lincoln’s party back right after she had first met Lexa at the hospital. She had tended to the stitches on Lexa’s leg after she had hit it on a table. Clarke had noticed Lexa looking her over that night and when they had been in her loft she had felt the tension between them, but had ignored it…or at least she had tried to. That same night Clarke had dreamed about Lexa taking this same red dress off of her. “Glad I’m not the only one”, Clarke said. 

Lexa had come to stand right in front of her. “I hope you weren’t mad about me having Gustus come pick you up. I was running behind and didn’t want you to wait. He’s a driver we employ for Trikru”. 

“No, it was fine. He was really nice and polite”, Clarke said.

Lexa smiled, “Ok, good. I’m glad it wasn’t weird. I always feel weird anytime he drives me to a meeting or event. Like I’m someone special or something”. 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Well you sort of are”. 

Lexa blushed, “So do you like the deck? I thought this would be nice for a first date. Just the two of us”. 

“Lexa, I love it. There’s only one thing wrong”. Clarke watched as Lexa’s brow furrowed as she tried to think of what was wrong and she couldn’t help laughing at how cute she looked. “Relax, the only thing wrong is that we have been standing here way too long for you to not have kissed me yet”, Clarke said.

Lexa instantly relaxed, her own smile forming on her lips.

“Ah, I see…that is a terrible problem”, Lexa said as she moved closer to Clarke. “Let me take care of that right away”.

Lexa leaned down and connected their lips in a soft tender kiss. They stayed like that kissing each other slowly and delicately for a couple of minutes. They each had no rush, they had all night. 

Lexa pulled away, “Better?”.

“Much better”, Clarke said. “Now what’s for dinner Top Chef, because I’m starving”. 

* * *

Lexa hadn’t been able to take her eyes off of Clarke all night. Literally everything she did was either cute or sexy…sometimes a combination of both. How she looked in that dress, how her her hair fell over her bare shoulders and how she was enjoying the meal Lexa had made them. She had decided on a steak salad and Clarke seemed to be enjoying it. Lexa watched the cute faces she made as she savored each bite. Watching Clarke lick her lips was doing things to Lexa that had her wanting to skip dessert. Although as much as Clarke enjoyed her cooking she doubted she would want to after she told her what she had made. 

Lexa took a sip of her wine still watching Clarke, “Enjoying the meal?”, Lexa asked.

Clarke was looking back at her now, “Of course, although the bar keeps getting raised each time. You are seriously an amazing cook”. 

“And there’s still dessert, I’ll be right back”, Lexa said as she pressed a quick kiss to Clarke’s cheek before heading back inside the apartment.

Lexa grabbed the chocolate cakes she had put into the oven to keep warm and headed back up to the deck. When she walked outside she saw Clarke had moved over near the sitting area and was looking out at the view of the skyline. Lexa stood there just looking at her. Clarke was stunning in the moonlight the way it made her blonde hair seem to glow. Lexa walked over towards her and sat the plates down on the table by the sofa. She felt Clarke reach over and place her hand inside of hers lacing their fingers together. 

“Lexa this is just perfect”, Clarke said before looking down, “And now chocolate…be still my heart”. 

“I’m pulling out all the stops”, Lexa said with a wink.

Lexa pulled Clarke’s hand motioning for them to sit down on the sofa. She watched Clarke eye the chocolate cakes before grabbing one of the plates and going in for a bite. Lexa felt almost hypnotized as she watched Clarke take a bite of the cake and let out a hum of approval. After she took the bite Lexa saw there was a smudge of chocolate on the side of Clarke’s lip.

“May I?”, Lexa asked as she reached her hand up to Clarke’s mouth. 

Clarke only nodded as Lexa brushed her finger across Clarke’s lip. Lexa was about pull her hand away when Clarke reached up and grabbed her hand holding it in place. She then brought Lexa’s finger towards her mouth and licked the chocolate off before sucking on her finger.

 

Game. 

 

Set. 

 

Match.

 

Lexa stared into Clarke’s eyes and was sure that her own mirrored the same level of desire that she saw in hers. Lexa lunged forward capturing Clarke’s lips with her own. This kiss was different from the ones they had shared before. This kiss was heated and desperate. Neither of them were holding back. It was tongues and teeth and desire. Lexa turned and pulled Clarke up into her lap so that Clarke was now straddling her on the sofa never breaking contact with their lips. Clarke’s hands were in her hair running her fingers through it and pulling them closer together. Lexa moved her hands down to Clarke’s waist and down over the perfect curves of her ass. Clarke moaned as Lexa kneaded her hands into Clarke’s body. 

After a couple more minutes they broke apart to catch their breaths keeping their foreheads touching as they leaned into each other. Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes and so much was being said between them in that one look without the need for words. Lexa stood up still holding Clarke in her arms as she wrapped her legs around her waist. 

Lexa heard Clarke let out a surprised gasp when she stood up.

“Are you ok? I can sit you down”, Lexa said.

“No!”, Clarke almost yelled out. “I mean, yeah this is great, you just surprised me…you’re so…strong”. 

Lexa smiled and was sure it was going ear to ear. She was loving the feeling of Clarke in her arms. Her dress had moved so far up that Lexa was now holding onto her bare thighs and she relished in the feeling of Clarke’s warm skin against her own. 

“Shall we”, Lexa said and placed a kiss on Clarke’s neck as she felt her nod her approval.

Lexa walked them back inside and down the staircase trying to concentrate on each step which Clarke was not making easy as she peppered kisses all down her face and neck. Lexa sat Clarke down when they reached the door to her bedroom. She motioned for Clarke to open the door and she watched her reaction as she did and took in the room. Lexa had a thing for candles and she thought she might have gotten a little carried away, but judging from the look on Clarke’s face she had done just right. She had placed candles all around her bedroom so that the only light in the room came from them. 

“I wanted this to be special”, Lexa said.

“It is…”, Clarke said as she leaned up and kissed her.

Lexa was lost in the the kiss. She felt Clarke push her vest up and off her shoulders smoothing her hands over her back and pushing them closer together. It was like they couldn’t get close enough. Lexa moved her own hands to Clarke’s back mimicking her same action of pressing their bodies together. Clarke moved to kiss her on her neck and she felt Clarke’s tongue lick across her skin sending shivers down her body. 

Clarke then leaned up and whispered in her ear, “Take it off”. 

Lexa did not need to be told twice as she reached for the zipper on the back of Clarke’s dress and slowly began to drag it down. Once it was down all the way Clarke took a step back and let the dress fall off of her body and onto the floor. Lexa felt drunk as she took in the goddess who stood before her. Clarke had not worn a bra so her full breasts were completely in view now and what a view they were. 

“You’re beautiful”, Lexa managed to say. 

Clarke smiled and stepped out of the dress and towards her. Clarke grabbed the hem at the bottom of her shirt and reached for the first button. Clarke looked up at her and she gave a small nod and as Clarke began to unbutton her shirt she never broke their eye contact. Clarke pushed her shirt off of her shoulders as Lexa helped to move her arms out it and let it fall to the floor. Clarke then reached around to unclasp Lexa’s bra pressing her breasts into Lexa’s chest as she did. The contact undoing Lexa as she couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips as she closed her eyes. Once her bra was off she watched as Clarke raked her eyes over her body biting her lip.

“Stunning”, Clarke whispered. 

Clarke undid Lexa’s jeans and helped her out of them as she kicked off her boots. They both stood there in only their underwear taking in ever second of the moment.

Lexa saw that Clarke was still in her heels and she bent down bowing before her as she helped her out of them. Lexa went to stand back up, but felt Clarke’s hands on her shoulders. When she stopped and looked up she saw Clarke place her hand on the them of her underwear. Lexa took in a shaky breath as she reached up and grabbed the hem of the black lace before slowly pulling them down Clarke’s legs. 

“Clarke…”, Lexa said softly.  She was dizzy from taking in all of Clarke and the scent of her arousal that was starting to fill the air in the room. 

When Lexa stood up Clarke grabbed her hand and moved them towards Lexa’s king size bed that was in the middle of the room. She turned them and gentled pushed on Lexa’s shoulders to make her sit on the bed. Clarke then climbed into her lap pressing their breasts together and they each let out a moan at the contact of skin on skin. 

Lexa brought her hands up to cup Clarke’s breasts relishing in their softness and the feel of Clarke’s hardened nipples in her hands. The moans that Clarke was making were the most beautiful thing Lexa had ever heard and they were driving her mad. She bent forward and kissed her way down Clarke’s neck before moving to her breasts as she took one nipple into her mouth while she continued to massage the other with her hand. Clarke’s moans became louder and she felt her hips start to move against her stomach feeling the warmth and wetness from her center. 

“Lexa…I’m…fuck…I’m so turned on”, Clarke barely managed to say. 

“Are you close?”, Lexa said wanting to take care of her.

Clarke let out a whimper and nodded her answer…she was.

“Clarke…use me”, Lexa said as she locked eyes with her. 

Lexa felt Clarke let go of the restraint she had been using as she began to rock her hips rubbing herself over Lexa’s abs. The feeling was intense. Lexa could feel her pulsing against her as she rubbed her clit back and forth against her. Clarke had wrapped her arms around her holding on as she moved her body. Lexa continued to give her breasts attention which became harder as Clarke’s movements became more frantic. Lexa moved back on the bed so that Clarke was now laying on top of her hoping that the new position would give her the added pressure she needed.

“Lexa…”, Clarke continued to pant her name. “I’m so close, god, you feel so good”. 

“It’s ok, I’ve got you. Let go Clarke”. 

A few moments later Lexa felt Clarke’s muscles tighten and then she was crying out her name as she finally hit her release and it was the most beautiful thing Lexa thought she had ever seen. 

Clarke’s breathing was heavy as she came down from her orgasm falling to rest on Lexa’s chest. 

“That was…hot”, Lexa said as she stroked Clarke’s hair. 

Clarke leaned back and had a very satisfied grin on her face. Lexa pulled her down for a kiss and flipped them over on the bed so that Clarke was now underneath her.

Clarke’s grin was gone as her darkened eyes looked back at Lexa with even more desire than before now blazing behind them. Lexa moved down Clarke’s body kissing over every inch of skin she passed. She dipped her tongue inside Clarke’s belly button and felt her body jolt upward. Lexa pushed her back down on the bed holding her hips in place. She then moved down between her legs and began kissing and sucking on her inner thighs rotating from one leg to the other until she had Clarke squirming and panting underneath her.

“Lexa…please”, Clarke begged. “I need you”. 

Lexa moved up Clarke’s body and gave her a fast, but heated kiss. She then quickly moved down her body and then with her eyes locked on Clarke’s she leaned in and ran her tongue through Clarke’s folds. The only thing better than the glorious sound Clarke made was how she tasted. Lexa was getting drunk off Clarke and taking in every sip. She ran her tongue all over her exploring every inch and paying attention to what got the most reaction from Clarke. She wanted to know how to best please her, she wanted to worship her. 

“I need more”, Clarke panted out. I want to feel you inside me”. 

Lexa moved her hand that had been massaging Clarke’s thigh and entered her with at first two and then three fingers. Clarke’s body reacted to her touch as she began to move up and down on her hand, her movements speeding up as Lexa knew she was getting close. Clarke moved her hands that had been gripping the sheets on either side of her to Lexa’s hair as she pressed her closer encouraging her movements. It wasn’t much longer and Lexa once again felt Clarke’s whole body tensing up and she loved that she was already getting to know her body’s reactions.

“Lexa, I’m…”, Clarke started to speak, but was cut off by her orgasm hitting her hard as she screamed out. 

Lexa continued to work on Clarke helping her through the last trimmers of her release before moving up her body. She placed kisses along her neck as she nuzzled into her. 

“Damn, you are so gorgeous. I can’t even begin to describe how amazing that was for me”, Lexa said.

“For you?”, Clarke chuckled as she was still trying to catch her breath. “It was kind of fantastic from my side of things too. Except we have a little problem”. 

“Oh yeah?”, Lexa asked. 

“You still have some clothes on”, Clarke said as she looked down between them at Lexa’s boy shorts. 

* * *

Clarke hooked her ankles with Lexa’s and flipped them over on the bed. She had thoroughly enjoyed Lexa taking care of her first…and well, second too…but it was now her turn and she was done waiting. She leaned down and pressed their chests together as she kissed Lexa enjoying how her softer body felt against Lexa’s toned muscles. Clarke then moved down Lexa’s body hooking her fingers on her boy shorts and pealing them off of Lexa down her toned thighs. 

Clarke stood up off the bed so she could get a better look at her lover.

“Lexa…your body…you are perfect”, Clarke said and it was the only word she could think of to described her. Clarke watched as Lexa’s muscles rippled under her skin as she moved herself to sit up on her elbows while she smirked up at her quirking one eyebrow. Clarke now understood the meaning of being thirsty and she knew Lexa was the only thing that could quench her. 

Clarke climbed back onto the bed and straddled Lexa pushing her to lay back down. She leaned down and kissed her as she massaged her breasts and Clarke was so not prepared for how soft and delicate the moans were that came from Lexa. She sounded heavenly and so girlie, which was both surprising to Clarke and amazingly satisfying. She moved take one of Lexa’s nipples into her mouth while one of her hands trailed down to her abs drawing slow circles over the firm ridges. Clarke had dreamed about Lexa so many times that being in this moment with her felt like a dream…but it was one that had finally come true. She savored every second as she touched and kissed her way all over Lexa’s body. She traced her tongue over Lexa’s abs loving how the muscles rippled under her touch. 

“Clarke, that feels amazing…but, you are driving me crazy”, Lexa said.

Clarke smiled into Lexa’s skin as she continued exploring her body now moving back up to her neck and sucking on her pulse point before soothing the spot with her tongue. Lexa let out a louder moan and cupped the back of Clarke’s neck while her other hand was on her lower back. Clarke was finding herself getting lost in the feeling of Lexa touching her body, her senses were maxed out. She was suddenly nervous. It had been awhile since she had been with a woman and she didn’t want to disappoint Lexa. She looked back at Lexa and those green eyes stared right back into her as if she could see into her soul.

“What do you want?”, Clarke asked.

“You…anything and everything”, Lexa said back. “Just touch me Clarke”. 

The way Lexa looked at her pushed any stage fright she had out of her system as she trailed her hand down between their bodies and ran her fingers inside Lexa. She was so wet…she felt amazing and Clarke moaned along with Lexa as she arched her body off the bed and into her touch. Clarke kissed Lexa as she explored her with her fingers loving each whimper and moan that she was able to pull out of her. She could tell that Lexa was getting close, but that she needed more to take her over the edge so she pushed a third finger inside of her. Lexa’s body let her know she had read her needs well as she started frantically rolling her hips into her touch and her breathing became heavier. 

“Clarke…yes…don’t stop”, Lexa panted out. 

Clarke felt even more determined and quickened her pace wanting to see Lexa come undone. Clarke rubbed her thumb over Lexa’s clit and that was all it took. 

“Clarke!”, Lexa yelled out her name.

Clarke could feel Lexa’s orgasm ripple through her body. It was electric and she knew she would spend the rest of the night making it happen over and over again. 

Clarke finished helping Lexa work through the last aftershocks and moved off of her to lay against her side keeping her arm draped over her chest. Lexa turned to face her with a delicious grin on her face. They laid there like that not saying anything and just looking at each other enjoying the moment.

“Are you real Ms. Griffin?”, Lexa asked with a look on her face of something Clarke was afraid to study too hard.

“I am indeed Ms. Woods”, Clarke replied. “And I intend to make sure we spend the rest of the night feeling just how real each of us are”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is...it finally happened. I know this has been a slow burn, but honestly I think it makes for the best story arch. I know it's not for everyone, but I love slow burns and angst. I really did want this moment between them to be special which is why I didn't have them rush it. I hope the wait was worth it for you guys, I think it was for Clarke and Lexa, lol. I hope you enjoyed it. Please keep the comments and kudos coming, they really do make me smile. Feel free to come follow me on tumblr at http://spoilerzzz.tumblr.com/.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all Clarke and Lexa. They spend three days together making up for lost time.

Clarke woke up some time in the middle of the night. The room was darker now that the candles had mostly burned out, but there was some light coming in through the windows in the bedroom from the streetlights outside. She looked down and saw an arm wrapped around her waist and could feel the rise and fall of Lexa’s bare chest against her back. Clarke felt like she could meld into Lexa’s body and stay there forever. There was something different about the way Lexa was holding her now. After last night there were no more barriers up, no more pretenses…no more holding back. They had given themselves to each other and Clarke realized it wasn’t just something different with Lexa, it was also with her. 

It what was in what she thought she had heard Lexa almost say the other day, what she thought she saw in Lexa’s eyes last night, it was the spark of something that she dared not speak yet. It was security, trust and passion. It was love. She could feel herself falling for this girl, this impossible girl who had come into her life and was making her feel things she had never felt so strongly before. It was too soon she thought…too soon to make any declarations to herself and especially not to Lexa. She knew what she was feeling, but she didn’t want to rush things and and push Lexa especially knowing about her past relationship. Clarke smiled to herself though at the thought of it…at this new chapter in her life that she was starting with Lexa. She snuggled more into Lexa and ended her thoughts on things that she would have time to think more about later. She drifted back to sleep feeling content with letting everything unfold naturally.  

The next time Clarke woke up she opened her eyes and quickly shut them again. The room was filled with light as sunlight was invading the room. She groaned and began to blink her eyes open slowly, adjusting them to the light. She rolled over and found that she was alone in bed, _in Lexa’s bed_ , and she smiled. She rolled over to Lexa’s pillow and breathed in her scent which always seemed to remind her of summers at the beach and Clarke loved it. She sat up and looked around the room. She hadn’t really gotten a chance to get a look at Lexa’s bedroom last night…there had been many distractions. She looked around and noticed it had Lexa’s same simple, but tasteful style. The platform bed she was on sat in the middle of the large room. There was a bay window on one side with a cushion and pillows along the ledge. There was an en suite on the other side of the room and a doorway that belonged to a walk-in closet. The decorations in the room were minimal with a few framed nature photos. There was a large flat screen Tv on the wall across from the bed with a dresser along the same wall. Clarke noticed that there were some clothes sitting on top of it which appeared to have been left out for her. She could hear Lexa was out in the main room of the loft so she decided to get out of bed and get dressed. She was thankful for the bathroom being attached to the bedroom so she’d be able to freshen up before going out to find her. 

When Clarke walked out of the bedroom she could smell something delicious and got excited to see what Lexa had cooked them for breakfast. She walked down the hallway and out into the main open room of the loft. She stood there for a minute watching as Lexa was humming along to a song she was softly playing on her iPod dock. Clarke couldn’t help looking her over. Lexa was wearing a criminally tight tank top with basketball shorts and had her hair tied up in a messy ponytail. Clarke thought she might faint at the sight. Lexa still hadn’t noticed Clarke as she was caught up in the song and whatever she was cooking. She watched her for a few more moments before she spoke up enjoying seeing Lexa look so happy. Clarke smiled knowing she felt the same way.

“Someone’s in a good mood”, Clarke said. 

Lexa jumped a little at being caught singing and dancing along to the song she was listening to. She saw a slight blush come over Lexa’s cheeks which made her smile even wider. She watched Lexa try to gather some of her composure before she replied back.

“I wonder why that is?”, Lexa asked faking a perplexed look.

Clarke walked over towards her coming to stand in front of her with a sly grin. 

“I have an idea”, Clarke said. 

She then brought her hands up and around Lexa’s neck pulling her down into a kiss. She felt Lexa wrap her arms around her waist pulling her into a tighter embrace as she massaged her hands into her sides. The kiss was slow and sweet and Clarke was melting all over again.

“Good morning”, Lexa said after breaking away.

“Hmm…”, Clarke hummed her reply still caught up in the kiss.

Now it was Lexa’s turn to have a grin on her face while Clarke felt her own cheeks warming up.

She felt Lexa reach down and take her hands in her own giving them a gentle squeeze.

“Are you hungry?”, Lexa asked.

“Am I breathing?”, Clarke replied coaxing a soft laugh out of Lexa.

“I thought so, come have a seat. It’s just about ready”. 

Lexa walked her over to the kitchen table grabbing the french press off the counter on the way. Clarke poured herself a cup of coffee while she sat at the table watching Lexa in the kitchen. She noticed the cream and sugar on the table and wondered if Lexa had bought the cream specifically for her since she knew Lexa drank her coffee black with only a small amount of sugar. The thought brought a smile to her face.

After a few more minutes Lexa walked over to the table and sat down a plate of homemade waffles and bowls of fresh strawberries and whipped cream. Clarke was beaming. She looked over at Lexa who was trying and failing to hide a smile over knowing how she would react.

“You sure know the way to a woman’s heart”, Clarke said and froze a little over the hidden meaning behind her words.

“I’d like to hope so”, Lexa said with a small smirk turning up her lips.

Clarke smiled relaxing over the playful tone in Lexa’s voice. She then grabbed a plate and a waffle which she loaded up with some of the strawberries and whipped cream. She watched Lexa do the same and felt an immense amount gratification from it knowing this was not her normal breakfast routine.

Clarke took a bite and couldn’t hold back from letting out a soft moan at how delicious it was. 

“Sounds like I was right”, Lexa said letting her earlier smirk form into a full grin.

“If you are trying to ply me with food…it’s working”.

Clarke gave herself a mental high five at the reaction that got out of Lexa seeing her stop mid bite. She continued eating like she hadn’t insinuated anything with her comment. Clarke could play this game all day or at least until she had finished her breakfast. 

Clarke took the last bite of her waffle and looked up to see Lexa watching her over the rim of the coffee cup she was holding. She saw Lexa’s waffle had only been half eaten and she wondered just how long she had been staring at her. 

“What?”, Clarke asked.

“Oh, nothing…sorry, I was just thinking. I, um, I hope the clothes I left out for you are alright. I just picked some stuff out”, Lexa said acting a little bashful at being caught staring at her. 

Clarke looked down at what she was wearing. Lexa had given her an Adidas shirt that felt comfy and worn in and a pair of boxers. Clarke had smiled at the thought of wearing Lexa’s clothes when she had seen them laid out for her in the bedroom. Something told her that Lexa was enjoying her wearing them too. 

“Yeah, they’re perfect”.

“Good”, Lexa said taking a sip of her coffee.

They sat there for a few moments in silence. It was nothing that was too awkward, but it was as if they each didn’t know what to do or say next. Lexa eventually stood up and grabbed a couple of the plates before before walking over into the kitchen.

“So, anything you’d like to do today?”, Lexa asked while her back was facing in the direction of where she had just left Clarke sitting.

She didn’t hear a reply and when she turned around she found that Clarke had gotten up and was now walking towards her. Clarke stopped right in front of her. Lexa looked at the playful expression on Clarke’s face, but then saw a change in her eyes…she saw desire and Lexa knew they were each having the same thought.

“I have a few ideas in mind”, Clarke said as she pulled Lexa in for a kiss. 

* * *

Lexa was laying in bed on her stomach as nimble fingers traced lines and lazy circles across her back and shoulders. Sex with Clarke had been more amazing than she could have imagined, but it was moments like this that Lexa thought were even more intimate in some ways. The night before had been sweet, but also desperate and needy. Today it had been slower, more sensual as they each started to get to know the others body. Feeling every curve, tracing every line, memorizing the feel of each others skin. 

“I love your tattoos”, Clarke said rousing Lexa from her thoughts. “Especially the one here on your back, it’s very celestial. Is there a meaning behind it?”.

Lexa closed her eyes as Clarke ran her fingers over the lines of the tattoo that went down the middle of her back. 

“I got it after I graduated from college. After everything that happened…I had needed to get away for a while so I went on a trip. I backpacked through this National forest up in Canada”.

“By yourself?”, Clarke asked sounding a little surprised. “Lexa, that sounds like it was a little risky”. 

Lexa turned so she was facing Clarke and saw concerned blue eyes looking back at her.

“Yeah I know, Anya wasn’t too thrilled that I just disappeared like that. I promised to never do a long trip like that by myself again, but at the time I was just distraught and not thinking clearly”.

“How long were you gone?”

“Two weeks…”.

“Lexa”, Clarke said as she reached up and caressed her cheek with her hand.

“I know, it wasn’t smart. It was a big self discovery trip for me though. One night I was looking up into the sky watching this meteor shower and I just realized how small and insignificant some things are. It helped me to get out of the dark place I was in. So I got that tattoo to represent the the Universe and how we are a small part of this bigger thing that we can just barely imagine”.

“That’s beautiful”, Clarke said. She leaned in and kissed Lexa on her cheek. 

Lexa saw Clarke looking at her as if she wanted to say something, but was unsure if she should.  

Lexa met her gaze her, “What is it?”.

“I just don’t want you to run away again, I still feel bad that I made you feel like you had to. I don’t plan on ever making you feel that way again, but promise me that if you ever do…that we’ll talk about it”.

“Clarke…please don’t feel bad. None of it was your fault and don’t worry I promise I’m not going anywhere”.

Lexa brought Clarke into her arms and held her tight. They laid there together as Lexa pressed reassuring kisses on Clarke’s neck and down her arms. 

After several minutes Clarke turned towards Lexa and spoke up.

“Do you remember when you asked me about my sketches?”

Lexa nodded.

“The truth is I have thought about sketching you so many times…I may have a few rough drawings of you in one of my sketch books. I want to sketch you properly though…all of you, if that’s something you would be ok with”.

“Clarke, I am more than ok with that”.

“Great!”, Clarke said smiling. 

* * *

They stayed in bed talking about different things. Clarke talked about some of her ideas on what she wanted to do after her residency was over. She had thoughts about becoming a pediatrician with her own practice. Lexa encouraged her to do what she felt would make her the most happy in life. As they talked Lexa couldn't help feeling like things were just so _right_. Despite not having known each other that long she felt like this was exactly where they were each supposed to be. It felt like the stars and planets had aligned for them to meet when they did and for things between them to progress the way they had so that they each ended up together at this exact moment. She watched Clarke smiling as she talked and her life felt full…complete, as if a hole she hadn’t realized was there had been filled up. She knew what she was feeling and she wondered if Clarke felt it too.

* * *

They had finally pulled themselves out of bed in the late afternoon. This was how Clarke now found herself in the shower with warm water spraying over her body…their bodies. Lexa was kissing down her neck while her hands moved down her sides to rest on her hips. Clarke wrapped her hands around Lexa’s shoulders pulling her closer. Lexa moved them so that Clarke’s back was now pressing up against one of the tiled walls of the shower. Clarke felt Lexa press her thigh against her and Clarke complied spreading her legs so that their bodies were now intertwined. They both let out soft moans as they each felt the warmth of the others body against their skin. 

Clarke pulled Lexa’s face back to meet her own stare as they started to moved against each other. The more Lexa pushed into her the more Clarke pushed back. They quickly found their rhythm and Clarke was lost in the sensations of her own body, but also in Lexa’s. She loved the feel of Lexa’s breasts against her own as their bodies glided together. She loved the soft moans that Lexa gave out each time Clarke moved her thigh over her center. And when Lexa reached down and cupped her ass pulling them even closer Clarke thought she might combust right there in the shower. They each began to quicken their pace as soft moans turned into panting breathes and whimpers. 

“Lexa…I’m…fuck…don’t stop”, Clarke panted out.

Clarke felt Lexa quicken her pace even more, grinding down harder into her. Clarke could tell Lexa was getting close too and so she matched her movements earning her the sexiest whimper she had ever heard.

“Clarke…yes”, Lexa moaned.

It wasn’t much longer and Clarke was crashing over the edge as she came shouting Lexa’s name and clawing her hands down her back. Lexa followed right after her squeezing their thighs together as she whispered Clarke’s name into her wet hair. Lexa planted soft kisses down her neck as they stayed wrapped in each other arms for several minutes working through the aftershocks.  

They took turns washing each other and then got dressed in comfy clothes with no intention of leaving the loft. They were each content to spend as much time alone together as they could. 

* * *

Lexa ordered some Thai food and they sat on the couch watching something on Tv as they waited for the food to arrive. Clarke sat in the corner of the couch with Lexa in her lap as she braided her hair. She wove Lexa’s hair through her fingers massaging her scalp as the did. Once she was finished she placed a soft kiss on Lexa’s neck. 

“All done”, Clarke said.

Clarke watched as Lexa stood up and walked over to a mirror on the wall to check out her hair. Lexa hummed her approval. Clarke had done a braid along each side of her head and then tied them back around together to form one long braid along the back of her hair.

“Not bad Griffin”, Lexa said with a wink back at her. 

“It helps when the subject has shampoo commercial level hair”, Clarke said and meant it. Lexa’s hair was unfairly perfect. 

“Thanks babe”, Lexa said as she came over and kissed Clarke on the top of her head. 

Lexa wasn’t usually the type to use pet names. It had just come out and after she said it she realized she liked it…for Clarke, for them. Judging by the way Clarke was looking at her now with childlike adoration she knew she liked it too. Lexa sat down on the couch behind Clarke and began loosening her hair from the messy bun she had put it in. 

“Your turn”, Lexa said as she began running her hands through Clarke’s golden locks. 

They sat there in almost complete silence except for whatever was on the Tv as Lexa wove small braids scattered throughout Clarke’s hair. The knock at the door signaling the arrival of their food delivery brought them out of the meditation like state they had locked themselves in to. Clarke had been rubbing slow circles on Lexa’s thighs while she sat in her lap as she so delicately braided her hair. It took a second knock to coax Lexa to move to get up to answer the door and Clarke let out a soft laugh. Lexa paid the delivery guy and brought the food back over to where they had been sitting. They ate in the living room on the floor at the coffee table while watching and commenting along to another Netflix documentary they had started. 

They spent that night wrapped in each other’s arms once again still eager to continue getting to know each other’s bodies, but already mixed with a certain amount of familiarity. As Lexa fell asleep with Clarke in her arms she was thinking…and she didn’t want to have these thoughts just yet. Because she already couldn’t imagine not falling asleep just like this. 

* * *

Their third day together was bittersweet since they would both have to go back to work, life and reality the next day. Clarke had woken up still wrapped in Lexa’s arms and could have stayed there all day, but Lexa had other plans. After breakfast they went for a hike holding hands the entire time. Clarke loved how relaxed Lexa was outdoors. She was like a little kid as she pointed how the different plants and flowers along the trail. Clarke watched as Lexa beamed with pride when she found them a patch of wild blackberries that they snacked on. 

Lexa had packed them a lunch that they ate picnic style at the beach. After they had finished Lexa told Clarke she had a surprise for her. 

“Ok I give, what is it?”, Clarke asked after guessing wrong the first two times.

Lexa smiled and stood up reaching out for Clarke’s hand helping her to stand up. She then led them down the beach a little ways and when Clarke saw the small building coming into view she knew what it was.

“Oh, no…not this…I’ve never been good at this”, Clarke whined.

“Clarke, it’s fine. I can teach you”, Lexa said with a hopeful look in her eyes.

They walked up to the surf rental shop and Clarke was nervous. She had tried surfing before and had just never gotten the hang of it, but the puppy dog eyes that Lexa was giving her had her beaten. So that’s how a few minutes later they were each in wetsuits and carrying the boards they had just rented down the beach.

Lexa stopped them and laid their boards down on the sand. She had Clarke practice laying down on her board and then getting up into the proper stance several times before they headed out to the water. Clarke was skeptical about how well she would do, but there was one bonus to all of this and that was getting to see Lexa in a wetsuit. She thought falling off a surfboard a few times was definitely worth it. The way Lexa kept stealing glances at her made her think she wasn’t the only one enjoying a view. 

True to form Lexa was a natural catching almost every wave she went after and riding them out looking like a pro. Clarke on the other hand had swallowed enough seawater after her third failed attempt to finally convince Lexa to just let her watch. Clarke waded in the water on her board as she watched Lexa swim out and do her thing. She saw her paddling over towards her after putting on quite a show for Clarke and some of the other surfers out in the water with them.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try again?”, Lexa asked her.

Clarke laughed.

“No, I’m good. My salt water intact has been maxed for the day, but I did enjoy watching you”. 

“Is that so?”, Lexa said as she quirked her eyebrow and paddled closer to her.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Just come here already”.

Lexa moved their boards right next to each other so they were side by side as she leaned in to kiss her. They stayed like that making out in the water for several minutes until a wave came by that almost knocked them off their boards.

“I think we better move this somewhere else”, Clarke laughed out.

“That’s probably a good idea”, Lexa chuckled.

They turned their boards back in and got changed out off the wetsuits. It was getting late in the day and Clarke was not ready for it to end. They grabbed dinner at a bar on the beach not caring how they looked after just getting out of the water. They stayed there having a couple drinks as the day faded into the late evening before heading back to Lexa’s. They showered together which of course took longer than normal due to obvious reasons. Clarke borrowed more clothes from Lexa to wear home. She was getting used to wearing the other girls clothes and had feeling Lexa would not be getting this shirt back from her. The thought of keeping it made her smile. 

As they started to leave Clarke saw Lexa grabbing the keys to her Jeep and she spoke up.

“Um, I was wondering….can we take your motorcycle?”

Lexa seemed a little surprised, but also excited by the suggestion.

“Yeah, sure. I just didn’t know if you would be comfortable riding on it”, Lexa said.

“They are a little scary, I’m not going to lie. But I trust you and besides…it’s super hot”. 

“Well in that case…”, Lexa said as she grabbed her leather jacket out of the closet and handed it over to Clarke for her to wear. “We will have to go for rides on it more often”. 

Clarke smiled and shook her head as she put on the jacket.

When they got out to the parking garage Lexa helped her put on her helmet and then climbed onto the bike instructing Clarke to get on behind her. Once she was settled in Lexa put on her own helmet and reached around taking Clarke’s arms and wrapping them around her waist. Clarke tightened her hold on Lexa’s body as she started the bike and felt it rumble to life. Lexa took them out onto the street and Clarke could tell she was going easy with her. Not going too fast, but enough to keep up with the traffic. She took every turn with ease, but also cautiously and would look back to check on Clarke rubbing her forearms whenever they came to a stop. Clarke would nod and squeeze her hold on Lexa to show she was ok…she was more than ok…she was great. 

When they made it to Clarke’s apartment building Lexa parked her bike outside on the street and turned the engine off. Clarke climbed off followed by Lexa who then helped her out of her helmet. As soon as Lexa’s helmet was off Clarke hurriedly pulled her in for a kiss. It was all clashing of tongues…biting of lips…it was hot. When they pulled away they were both out of breath.

“Definitely doing more bike rides”, Lexa said. 

“Yes, there will be more of them in our future”, Clarke said humming a laugh.

Clarke looked down at the sidewalk before looking back up at Lexa.

“Do you want to come up?”

Lexa took Clarke’s hands inside hers.

“More than anything, but if I do I know we won’t get much sleep….and tomorrow I won’t want to get out of bed with you and we both have to get back to work”. 

“You’re right”, Clarke said with a sigh. “And I have a long shift tomorrow so I definitely need some rest”.

They each stood there holding hands in silence for several minutes not wanting to let go.

“Lexa…these past few days have been amazing. I don’t think I’ve had this much fun with someone in a long time…maybe ever if I’m being honest”, Clarke confessed.

“It’s the same for me too Clarke. I feel like we’ve started something here, something that I am so excited to nurture and see grow between us and I hope you feel the same way”.

Clarke’s breath was caught in her lungs at Lexa’s words as she looked up into her eyes. Those green eyes were saying things that didn’t need to be said…not yet.

“I do…Lexa I feel it too”.

They kissed again then softly and sweet. A kiss that was goodnight and so much more. It was a kiss to the end of the day, but also to the start of a beginning…to them. 

Lexa rode home with a smile on her face that never faltered. After crawling into bed for the night she felt the emptiness of missing Clarke beside her sink in. She was looking over at the empty space in her bed when she heard her phone chime. She grabbed it and saw it was a text from Clarke. When she opened it she saw it was a picture of Clarke laying in bed wearing the shirt she had let her borrow followed by _“Goodnight”_. Lexa smiled and texted her own goodnight message back. She rolled over and felt more at east as she started to drift off to sleep knowing that the past three days being over hadn’t ended anything between them, it had only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I had a case of writers block, but I think I worked through it nicely. I'm sorry for it being a while since my last update. Please know that I fully intend on finishing this story. I had thought about making this chapter be the last one, but I decided to write more. I'm not sure how much more, but don't worry these two crazy kids will be saying those three little words to each other before it's over with. 
> 
> As always thanks for the comments and kudos, they are life. Feel free to come chat on tumblr if that's your thing. You can find me on there as Spoilerzzz.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa in full domestic mode with feels and confessions.

Over the next several weeks Lexa found that she and Clarke had settled into a nice routine. Clarke's schedule at the hospital would dictate when and how they saw each other, but neither of them let that get in their way. Lexa had the flexibility to work her schedule around Clarke’s. They split time between spending time at Clarke’s apartment and Lexa’s loft depending on who won the debate over where to go. Lexa loved spending time at Clarke’s, but Clarke almost always wanted to stay over at her place and Lexa was more than happy to let Clarke have her way. 

This particular night, however, they were staying over at Clarke’s. Lexa was in the kitchen making dinner while Clarke worked on a painting in her art studio. It had taken a few trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond, but Lexa had finally brought Clarke’s kitchen up to at least minimum standards…or _“Lexa standards”_ as Clarke had put it. She had no clue how Clarke had survived before her kitchen intervention. Lexa cringed at her thoughts of the bad eating habits she imagined Clarke must have had. Lexa had taken the liberty of making sure Clarke always had a fridge full of prepped meals which cut down on her take-out habits. It also ensured she ate well when working long shifts at the hospital. She smiled to herself as she looked inside Clarke’s fridge at the neatly labeled containers. 

Lexa finished up making the salad she was working on to go with the lasagna she had made for dinner. When she was done she walked over to the area of the apartment that Clarke used as her art studio. She walked up to the doorway and couldn’t help being in awe. Clarke was sitting on a barstool in front of her canvas. She had her hair tied up into a mess bun on the top of her head. She was wearing a white tank top, one Lexa was sure belong to her, which was covered in different colored splotches of paint as were the grey sweatpants she was also wearing. Lexa could only standstill and watch as Clarke moved her paintbrush over the canvas with easy, but calculated strokes. She was painting a nature scene with a lake surround by a forest of trees set at twilight. Lexa was speechless as Clarke sensing she was there stopped and turned to look at her. It still amazed Lexa how much emotion she felt whenever she and Clarke locked eyes. They had spent the whole day together, but in quiet moments like this when they would simply look at each other it was as if they were seeing each other for the first time all over again. 

“Do you like it?” Clarke asked in a whisper. 

Lexa always wondered if Clarke had the same reactions she did in these moments and judging from the slight blush on her cheeks and the shy look on her face…she did. 

“Clarke…yes…it’s beautiful.” 

“I was inspired from hearing about your cabin and what the area must look like,” Clarke said.

Lexa smiled and walked over to Clarke taking her hand inside her own.

“We’ll take a trip there soon I promise. I want to show it to you,” Lexa said.

Clarke stood up and placed a kiss on Lexa’s cheek. “I’d like that.”

“Dinner is almost finished if you’re near a stopping point and ready to eat,” Lexa said.

“Yeah I’m starving and my back and neck could use a break from painting. Just give me a few minutes to get cleaned up,” Clarke said.

Lexa ran her finger over Clarke’s cheek. “I don’t know, the paint speckled look does suit you.”

“Hmm…consider that noted, but maybe for another time,” Clarke said with a smirk.

Lexa walked back out to the kitchen to finish getting their dinner ready while Clarke went to take  a quick shower. She had just finished setting everything up on the table when Clarke walked back out still toweling her wet hair.

“Something smells delicious,” Clarke said as she walked over to the table.

“It’s veggie lasagne, I hope you like it,” Lexa said.

“I doubt you’ll be getting chopped.”

Clarke leaned up and placed a quick kiss on Lexa’s cheek while she was making a plate for her.

“Thanks for cooking…again, you have spoiled me.”

“We aim to please,” Lexa said with a grin.

They sat there both enjoying the meal and each other’s company talking about different things. Lexa always loved hearing updates on Clarke’s patients. She loved seeing her face light up when she had good news to share about them. But Lexa was lost in her own thoughts at the moment with something she had to tell Clarke and she should have known her face would give it away.

“Hey, Lex what’s up? It looks like you spaced out there for a sec,” Clarke said.

“Oh, yeah sorry. I was just thinking about work. I ,umm, just found out that I’m going to have to go out of town next week,” Lexa said.

“Where to?” Clarke asked as she took another bite of her lasagne.

“Well…it’s this big press tour thing. I’m going to DC, New York, Chicago and Miami. I’ll be gone for three weeks…”

“Oh…” Clarke said.

“Yeah, I know. I just found out and was waiting for the right time to bring it up.” 

Lexa had been dreading the trip and telling Clarke about it since she found out about the press tour from Anya last week. It might have sounded crazy to some people considering that they hadn’t been together for very long, but the thought of not seeing Clarke for three weeks…it hurt. 

“Umm…I’d ask if you wanted to come with, but I know it’s sort of last minute and too long for you to be way from the hospital,” Lexa said not able to meet Clarke’s stare.

“Lexa, I’d love to come along…but you are right, I can’t be away from the hospital for that long,” Clarke said as she reached over and grabbed Lexa’s hand giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I understand and hey, it’s just three weeks. Besides there’s always Skype,” Lexa said trying to sound optimistic.

Clarke nodded with a smile, but Lexa could see the thought of not seeing each other for that long bothered her too. 

They finished up dinner in a sort of awkward silence. Lexa was putting the last of the dishes into the sink when she looked over and saw Clarke rubbing at her neck. She had noticed her doing it throughout dinner too. Lexa washed her hands and walked out to the living room where Clarke was sitting on the couch. 

“Clarke, your neck…it’s bothering you,” Lexa stated rather than asked knowing Clarke would downplay it.

“It’s just a little stiff. It happens when I’ve been doing a lot of painting, but I’ll be fine.”

Lexa had an idea.

“Come here,” Lexa said.

She reached her hand out to Clarke and walked her to the bedroom.

“Lexa you don’t have to, really I’m fine,” Clarke said.

Lexa brushed some of Clarke’s hair behind her ear rubbing the side of her neck as she did and she could feel Clarke leaning into the touch.

“Let me take care of you,” Lexa said as she reached down and grabbed the hem of Clarke’s shirt.

Clarke looked up at her and nodded her approval.

Lexa pulled the t-shirt Clarke was wearing up and over her head being careful to not bother her neck as she did. 

“Lay down, I’ll be right back,” Lexa instructed.

Lexa went into the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of lavender oil that Clarke used in her oil diffuser. Lexa had learned that was why Clarke always smelled like lavender and she cheered herself for having made the discovery. 

Lexa walked back out into the bedroom and took in the sight before her. Clarke had turned the main light off only leaving a lamp on so the room was bathed in a soft glow. Clarke was laying on her stomach with her bare back flexed as she was propped up on her elbows. She turned towards Lexa as she entered the room and there was an unmistakable heated look in her eyes. 

Lexa climbed onto the bed and Clarke laid down so she was now flat against the mattress. Lexa moved so that she was hovering over Clarke straddling her back.

“Is this ok?” Lexa asked and knew it had come out a little shaky.

“Yes,” Clarke replied. 

Lexa put some drops of the oil on her hands and rubbed them together to warm the oil up. She then reached down and began massaging slow circles into Clarke’s lower back. She took her time as she felt the tension in Clarke’s muscles melting away. She slowly worked her way up Clarke’s back applying more oil as she went along. It was an intoxicating experience. The smell of lavender in the air, the feel of Clarke’s bare skin and muscles moving under her touch and the sounds. Clarke was making the sweetest moans and humming her approval of Lexa’s massage and it was all driving her crazy. It was a sensory overload and Lexa was loving every second. 

“Lexa…” Clarke moaned as she worked a tight spot on her shoulder.

“Still doing ok?” Lexa asked.

Clarke only nodded her approval. 

Lexa continued working on Clarke’s shoulders and down the back of her arms. She moved Clarke’s hair to the side and started to massage her neck, but found that the angle wasn’t quite right. 

“Hey, can you sit up so I can to get your neck better?” Lexa asked.

Clarke started to sit up and Lexa helped her move back towards the middle of the bed. Clarke scooted back so that she was now sitting up against her in between her thighs. Lexa started to move Clarke’s hair out of the way when she handed her a hair tie that had been on her wrist. Lexa tied her hair up and out of the way massaging her scalp as she put Clarke’s hair into a bun. She applied some more oil to her hands and started massaging Clarke’s neck. She could feel the knots loosening under her touch. She felt Clarke start to press her body more into hers as she went along.

“Take your shirt off, I want to feel you against me,” Clarke stated rather boldly and Lexa was quick to comply.

Lexa pulled her own top off and then her bra tossing them to the side and out of the way. 

Clarke leaned back against her pressing her bare back into Lexa’s now bare chest and a shiver ran through both of their bodies. 

Lexa started massaging Clarke’s neck again and after a few more minutes Clarke turned in her arms looking her in the eye before moving to place a kiss on her lips. The kiss started soft, a thank you, but quickly heated up. Clarke’s soft lips moved over Lexa’s as they each reached their tongues out caressing the others deepening the kiss. Lexa’s hands had stilled at Clarke’s sides, but soon Clarke broke the kiss and turned back around moving Lexa’s hands up her body. Lexa massaged circles into her sides and then up to Clarke’s breasts. 

Clarke leaned back against Lexa moving her head into the crook of Lexa’s neck. Lexa continued massaging Clarke’s breasts kneading them with her hands and rolling her hard nipples between her fingers. 

“Lexa…you’re hands feel so good,” Clarke breathed out, her voice low and husky. 

Lexa started placing kisses down Clarke’s neck as she sped up her movements with her hands. Massaging deep into Clarke’s skin. 

Lexa kept a hand on one of Clarke’s breasts as she lowered her other one down over Clarke’s stomach until she reach the edge of her sweatpants. She hesitated for moment as Clarke moved one of her hands up to Lexa’s neck. Clarke moved her other hand down to Lexa’s pushing her hand under the waistband of her sweatpants. 

Lexa cupped Clarke through her underwear and could feel how wet she was.

“Clarke…” Lexa groaned into her ear. 

Clarke let out soft laugh. “Is it any surprise that you and your magical hands have me so worked up?”

“Turn around,” Lexa said being slightly emboldened by Clarke’s words.

Clarke reached down and pulled off her sweatpants and underwear in one motion. She then turned around in Lexa’s arms so that she was now sitting in Lexa’s lap. Lexa crashed their lips together while at the same time reaching down and massaging Clark’s inner thigh. Clarke moaned into the kiss as Lexa moved her hand and began dragging two fingers along Clarke’s outer folds moving them up and down. Clarke tried to grind her hips down desperate for more contact, but Lexa’s other hand pressed against her stomach stilling her movements. Lexa smiled into their kiss at the whimper of protest Clarke let out.

“Patience Clarke,” Lexa said.

“Don’t tease me,” Clarke whined out.

Lexa continued with a few more soft teasing strokes before slipping two fingers inside Clarke giving her the contact she wanted. Lexa moved her free hand around to Clarke’s back as she started a steady pace moving her fingers in and out of Clarke. She felt Clarke tense up at the change of pace.

“Clarke…move,” Lexa whispered into her ear.

At those words Clarke began rolling her hips towards Lexa with her arms wrapped around her neck and her legs around her waist as they both fell into rhythm with each other. They had been together so many times before, but something about having Clarke in her arms this way felt different. It was more intimate. Clarke’s breath on her neck, whimpering in her ear and her arms holding onto Lexa tight. This was all about Clarke. Lexa moved her hand slightly so she could use her thumb to hit Clarke’s clit with each stroke knowing she would need more to take her over the edge. Clarke’s entire body reacted to the extra stimulation letting Lexa know her timing was right.

“Yes…oh my God…yes Lexa,” Clarke chanted her approval. 

Lexa could feel Clarke was getting close as she sped up her movements and then Clarke was coming apart in her arms yelling her name. Lexa continued to rock with her as she felt Clarke almost go limp in her arms helping her work through her climax completely. Once she could feel Clarke relax she moved them so they were laying side by side. Clarke held onto her cuddling into her side while Lexa peppered her neck with kisses.

“You’re so beautiful,” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s neck. 

Lexa pulled back to look at her and she saw so much emotion in those blue eyes as they stared back at her and she could see tears starting to form in them as well.

“Hey, it’s ok…is everything alright?” Lexa asked with concern as she wiped away a tear from Clarke’s eye.

Clarke shook her head.

“Lexa…I’m going to miss you when you leave. I can already feel it, being without you. I know it sounds stupid since it’s only for a few weeks, but I just had to say it because it’s how I feel.  I can’t stand us being apart even now. Whenever you leave or I leave and we go without seeing each other for one or two days, I feel it then too. It’s like this pull and it never goes away until I see you again,” Clarke confessed.

“Clarke…” Lexa said her name in barely a whisper as she felt tears forming in her own eyes.

“Lexa, I love you.” 

Those three little words hit Lexa hard. They had been hanging between them unsaid for so long and now they were out. Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes and she saw them searching her own with both relief and desperation to hear the same declaration repeated back to her. Lexa had worried she would be nervous or unsure what to say when this moment came, but now that it was here she was anything but unsure.

“Clarke, I feel like I’ve waited a hundred years for you and honestly I’d wait a million more if it’s what I had to do. Nothing prepared me for you. Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do to me…what it would feel like. And I would not have had it any other way,” Lexa said.

They both had tears streaming down their faces now, neither ashamed of it or afraid of holding back their emotions.

“I love you too Clarke Griffin, I love you so much.”

Clarke looked to be in awe and Lexa was sure she looked the same way. She leaned in and kissed Clarke a kiss that she hoped conveyed all of what she had just said and more. Lexa stayed holding onto Clarke until she felt her relaxing as she started to fall asleep. Lexa stayed up watching Clarke sleep, unsure for how long, and wondering how she got so lucky. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this started out as one thing and then these dorks got all sentimental on me and this is what I ended up writing. Sorry for the long wait since the last update and sorry this is a shorter chapter than what I normally post. This felt kind of like a one shot for me, but writing it that way seemed to help me and I think it fits. I hope you enjoyed it and as always thanks for reading and following along with my story. Feel free to come chat on tumblr if that's your thing. You can find me on there as Spoilerzzz.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally an update...I know. 
> 
> Lexa is on the road and missing her girl.

Lexa stepped into the elevator in the lobby of her hotel exhausted. She was into the second week of the press tour and in New York and would be heading to Chicago in the morning. She got to her floor and made her way down the hall and entered her hotel room. She laid her messenger bag down on the table near the doorway before walking the rest of the way into the room. When she looked up she saw a gift basket sitting on the bed and a surprised smile spread across her face. She walked over and grabbed the card that was attached to the basket not needing to read it to know who the sender was. She looked inside the basket and saw the organic granola bars she loved, her favorite chamomile tea and some bath bombs. She opened the card and read… 

_Lexa,_

_I know you are working hard so I thought I’d send you some things to remind you to take time to relax and care for yourself._

_Love Clarke_

 Lexa smiled at the thoughtfulness behind Clarke’s gift and words. She had planned on just taking a quick shower, but decided on a bath now so she could use one of the lavender bath bombs Clarke had sent. She poured the bath and soon the whole room smelled like lavender. She climbed into the tub and could feel herself begin to relax almost instantly. She reached over to the shelf by the tub and grabbed her cell phone so she could give Clarke a call. 

Clarke picked up on the second ring.

_Clarke: Hey you._  

Lexa felt herself relax even more just hearing Clarke’s voice. She had been so busy it had been a couple of days since they had spoken on the phone. 

_Lexa: Hey_  

_Clarke: Sorry our schedules have been out of sync the past few days._

_Lexa: I know me too, are you at the hospital?_

_Clarke: Yea you caught me on a quick break. So how’s New York been?_

_Lexa: It’s been good, just really busy. The press we are getting for Trikru is insane and the fans_ _are loving the events so it’s been really good._

_Clarke: I'm glad, I saw your Twitter was getting blown up. Are you back at the hotel?_  

_Lexa: Yes and it appears I have a secret admirer._

_Clarke: Oh really, a secret one?_

_Lexa: Well maybe not so secret, but they definitely admire me._

_Clarke: Hahaha, so I take it my gift basket made it alright._

_Lexa: It did and I’m enjoying one of the items right now. Any guesses?_

_Clarke: Hmm…wait…are you, the bath bomb…_

_Lexa: Yea and it’s so relaxing, only…_

Lexa paused and could hear Clarke breath out. She knew they were both feeling the same pull from the distance that the trip was putting them through. 

_Clarke: How does your skin feel in the water?_

_Lexa: Smooth…like silk._

_Clarke: I wish I was there with you._

_Lexa: Me too…_

There was a pause before Clarke spoke again.

_Clarke: I’d be massaging your shoulders._

_Placing kisses down the back of your neck._

_My legs wrapped around you…_

_Lexa: Clarke…_

There was another pause followed by what Lexa thought was the sound of Clarke cursing.

_Lexa: Clarke? Is everything ok?_

_Clarke: No…I mean yes…ugh, sorry babe, I’ve gotta go I’m being paged._

_Lexa: It’s ok, go do your thing._

_Clarke: We will be revisiting this bath moment later for sure. I love you, have a good night._

_Lexa: I’ll be looking forward to it, goodnight, love you._

Lexa finished her bath and climbed into bed exhausted, but glad she had gotten a chance to talk to Clarke even it was just for a few minutes. This trip had been great for her company, but not so great for her relationship. As she settled into bed she made a mental note to make special plans for Clarke and her when she got back home. She wanted to make up for being apart for so long. 

The next few days were a whirlwind. Lexa had fan meet and greets, radio talkshow interviews and a magazine cover signing. Anya had met up with her in New York and was with her in Chicago as they arrived at the sporting event where she’d be doing the magazine signing. They arrived at the booth and Lexa saw there was already a line. Despite the rise in her popularity she still worried that no one would show up when she had these types of events. 

The line was getting towards the end and as she finished taking a photo with some fans she turned to go back to the table and froze. Standing next in line was someone she didn’t expect to see now or ever again…Costia. Lexa wasn’t sure what to do or say. She just stood there staring at Costia who gave her a nervous smile before looking awkwardly away. It was Anya who broke the silence.

“Lexa, what’s…are you fucking kidding me?” Anya said as she looked up and saw why Lexa was frozen in place.

“What are you doing here?” Anya asked.

“I just..I heard on the radio that Lexa was here and I…I just wanted to see you”, Costia said now directing her attention at Lexa. 

Lexa broke out of her haze from the shock.

“Costia, I don’t…”, Lexa said

Costia interrupted her.

“Lexa, just give me 5 minutes. I’ll come back when you're finished”, Costia said and then walked away before Lexa could respond.

Lexa managed to get her mind cleared and back to normal to finish up with the rest of the fans who were waiting in line.

Her and Anya were packing some of their stuff up when she noticed Costia was standing nearby watching them. She looked up at her and Costia waved giving her a small smile. 

Lexa sighed in frustration. 

“You don’t owe her anything”, Anya said.

“I know”, I’m just going to see what she wants. I’ll be right back”, Lexa said.

Lexa sat down the box she had been packing and walked over towards Costia. 

“Hi”, Costia said speaking first.

“Hi”, Lexa said feeling the awkwardness setting in.

“Look I know you probably hate me over what happened, but I’d like to explain some of it if you’ll let me. There’s a coffee shop nearby, could we maybe go talk?”, Costia asked.

Lexa looked back at Anya who was trying and failing to pretend to not be watching them. 

“Costia, I don’t know”, Lexa said.

“Lexa, please just for a few minutes. I’ve wanted to get this off my chest for a long time”, Costia said with a concerned look in her eyes.

“Ok, let me go grab my things”.

Lexa walked back over towards Anya to grab her bag dodging the daggers Anya’s stare was shooting at her.

“I can’t believe you’re going to give her any of your time after how she treated you”, Anya said.

“Anya, I have some things I need to say to her, things I should have said back then. I know I’ve moved on, but what happened still affected me with how things started with Clarke so maybe this will finally give me some closure on that as well”.

Anya reached over and gave her a short hug, “Ok, I trust you know what you’re doing”. 

Lexa smiled and walked back over towards Costia unsure of how this was really going to go.

They entered the coffee shop that was around the corner. Anya placed her order and started to order Lexa’s coffee, but stopped and turned towards her.

“Sorry, old habit”, Anya said.

Lexa shrugged it off and spoke up to order her own coffee.

Once they had their coffees they grabbed a couple of leather armchairs in the corner of the shop. After a couple minutes of awkward silence Costia finally spoke up.

“So you're doing well I see”.

“Thanks, the business is doing really well”, Lexa said being short since she was not really feeling making small talk with her.

“So you said you had something you wanted to tell me”, Lexa said.

Costia took another sip of coffee before sitting it down on the table in front of them. 

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened back in college, about what I did to you. 

Lexa I want to apologize. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything”.

Lexa was at first a little stunned. She had expected Costia wanted to talk about their past, but she was not expecting her to apologize so quickly.

“Costia what you did, how you treated me, how you made me feel…”, Lexa said unable to finish her sentence.

“I know, I know what I did was horrible. I’d like to try and explain it if you'll let me. If not I understand”.

Lexa debated whether she wanted to hear this or not, but decided to hear her out. 

“Ok, I’ll listen”, Lexa said.

Costia went on to explain that she had been afraid of coming out to her parents. That she knew her parents would not be accepting of her being gay so she convinced herself that it was just a phase instead of coming to terms with who she was. 

“I had done such a good job of convincing myself I started to hate and resent you for making me feel the way I did, but I know now that I was just scared and jealous. I was scared of the feelings I had for you and I was jealous that you were able to be free with who you were”, Costia explained. 

Lexa sat in stunned silence at listening to Costia’s story, unsure of how to react or what to say.

“Costia I'm sorry you were going through that with your family, but what you did to me…it messed me up. It almost cost me my current relationship”, Lexa said.

“I know there’s nothing I can say that will take it away or make it right, but I want you to know that I am truly sorry for what I did. I dismissed you and what we had together, I hurt you and I'm sorry”, Costia said.

Lexa looked down at her coffee thinking over Costia’s words. 

“I accept your apology. Knowing what you were going through doesn't make it right, but it does help me to understand and know that you weren't just doing it to hurt me. I get that you were hurting too”, Lexa said. 

Costia looked like she had a weight lifted off her shoulders and Lexa saw that she had tears falling down her cheeks. 

“Thank you, I hope you truly understand how much it means to me to hear you say that after all this time”, Costia said. 

Lexa and Costia parted ways at the coffee shop each wishing the other well. Lexa decided to walk back to the hotel just needing some time to process their conversation. Anya had texted her to meet her in the hotel bar after she got back. 

Lexa found Anya in the bar and told her everything Costia had said. 

“Well it’s still really messed up, but I’m glad you got some closure from what that bitch did to you”, Anya said.

Lexa agreed and excused herself to head up to her room. It had been a long day and she wanted to take a nap before the dinner her and Anya had planned. 

Lexa woke up to the sound of her phone going off. She glanced at the clock next to her bed and saw she had been sleeping for nearly two hours. When she picked up her phone she saw it was Clarke calling and answered it right away.

_Lexa: Hey_

_Clarke: Hey, are you feeling alright you sound kind of out of it._

_Lexa: Yeah I’m alright I was just taking a nap, it was a long day._

_Clarke: I can let you go if you’re tired, we can talk later._

_Lexa: No, it’s fine. I actually wanted to talk with you about something._

_Clarke: Oh ok, what’s up?_

Lexa told Clarke about Costia showing up at the signing event and their talk at the coffee shop. 

_Clarke: Well I’m glad she was honest with you about what was really going on and I hope that it gave you some closure from it._

_Lexa: It did. While I had put it behind me I feel like I can now fully close the door on that, but onto lighter topics. What are you up to? Any plans for the weekend?_

_Clarke: I just finished my shift and it looks like I’ll be working all weekend. I signed up for a double shift since we are short staffed right now._

_Lexa: Just make sure to get plenty of rest. I know you love what you do, but you need to take care of Clarke too…especially since I’m not there to make sure you do._

_Clarke: I’d love to tell you all the things you could help me take care of, but I know you have a dinner planned with Anya tonight so it will have to wait._

_Lexa: Dinner plans can always be canceled._

_Clarke: I really don't want to deal with being the reason you stood up Anya and I don't think you’d want to deal with that either. Go, we can talk later._

_Lexa: Very true, I’ll talk to you soon. Love you._

_Clarke: I love you too._

The next day Lexa and Anya flew into Miami. It was the last stop on the tour and while Lexa had enjoyed getting to promote her company she was ready to get back home and back to Clarke. It had been over two weeks since they had last seen each other and while they had talked on the phone and video chatted as much as they could it just wasn't the same. 

The next day Lexa woke up to a surprise from Anya. She had cleared her schedule for the day so she had the weekend to relax before the events they had scheduled on Monday. 

Lexa decided she was going to take it easy so she slept in and then went to hit the gym before grabbing some lunch. When she got back to her room and took a shower she saw a text from Anya saying she had reserved a cabana for them down by the pool and for her to come down when she was ready. Lexa put on her swimsuit and headed down to the pool ready to relax. 

There were several cabanas around the pool, but one of the hotel employees spotted her and pointed her to the one that had been reserved for them. When she entered the cabana she noticed there was someone inside and quickly apologized and started to walk out when she saw the blonde woman in the cabana was no stranger…it was Clarke. 

Lexa stood there frozen in shock.

“Well are you just going to stand there and stare at me or…”, Clarke said and was cut off from finishing.

Lexa rushed over and pulled Clarke into a hug picking her up off her feet. 

As soon as she pulled Clarke in for the hug their lips met. The kiss started out urgent and desperate. It had been so long since they had been together it was like they were in a battle to see who could dominate who for more affection. Soon it slowed down as they each gave in to the other and eased into a slow rhythm of savoring the contact. They finally had to pull apart for air each breathing heavily, but stayed wrapped in each other’s arms. 

Lexa could only stare still in shock over having Clarke there with her.

“How are you here?”, Lexa asked.

Clarke laughed.

“It’s good to see you too Lexa”. 

Lexa shook her head and laughed. “Sorry I'm still getting over the surprise of it all”.

“Anya called me after the whole Costia thing and said if there was anyway way I could get out here to do it. So with some help from my Mom finding someone to fill in my shifts this weekend I was able to book a flight and head out last night”, Clarke said. 

Lexa smiled and found herself once again wondering how she got so lucky to have these people in her life as she felt a tear escape and roll down her cheek.

Clarke reached up and wiped the tear away caressing Lexa’s cheek with her thumb.

“Is everything alright?”, Clarke asked.

Lexa smiled reaching up to cover Clarke’s hand with her own.

“I’m just so happy”.

“Me too”, Clarke said. “Me too”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys please do not hate me, I know it has been FOREVER since I last updated this. I've had this chapter half done on my laptop for so long. I decided to update it and go ahead and post what I have done. I promise I will give this story a proper ending, just can't say how long it might take me. I hope there's still some of you out there that care to read this long overdue update and that you enjoy it.


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